Chapter 60

I slept well considering, I should have been nervous about the court case, but I wasn't I was more concerned about D and the pending arrival of our baby... Terri had delivered my breakfast some time ago and which I finished up just as D arrived. as she walked in and Smiling, nervously she said "Good Morning " reaching my bedside she lent in to plant a kiss on my cheek.
"what's with you D, you look scared to death?"
"Nothing... I'm good, you?"
D was distant and it was strange, " What's up?"
she smiled again nervously as she sat on the guest chair that had been brought in for her to sit on.
"Nothing honestly, I'm good..." she sat and fiddled with her scarf ends and looked down and avoided my eye contact.
I knew she was hiding something, "Bullshit Dot, now tell me?"
she jumped and looked at me, studying my face. "Please don't shout at me, I'm not an employee Jon, I'm your wife..."
I pulled back the covers and moved my my legs so they hung over the side of the bed, seeing tears in her eye's I reached out and took her hands and softened my voice.
"I'm sorry babe, but this is so not like you, what's wrong, please tell me?"
"Nothing,... really it's nothing..."
"ok, so if that's true why are you acting like this?, now just quit and tell me the truth please... c'mon I beg you, I love you...D?"
I felt a tear drop onto my hand, and she sniffed deeply, " It's just that..."
"its what...?"
she remained quiet trying to control the tears that were brimming and causing her throat to clog so she couldn't speak.
"Babe? you ok?"
that was the last straw as she grabbed on to me and sobbed as if her heart was breaking, big sobs racked through her body, as she clung to me so tight. I said nothing just made soothing sounds until her tears subsided and finally she could to talk again.
she pulled back, sniffing badly, handing her a Kleenex, she blew her nose and wiped her eye's then holding my gaze she took a deep breath and started again.
"It's just that I've been subpoenaed to attend court too."
"What?, why you had nothing to do with anything? what the fuck?"
"The police came to see me two days ago, Doc Magee has named me as giving consent for him to provide medical assistance for you while on tour if our medical didn't cover the costs"
"that's bullshit, my medical cover was adequate enough, did you ever sign anything? "
" that's it Jon, I don't know, I just honest to god don't know"
she looked down and again the tears fell, "babe, please you need to think, did he give you anything to sign?"
she sniffed loudly again, in between her sniffing she replied, "I don't think so, but I cant be sure, that was two years ago. a lot has happened since then...that's why I'm scared..."
I took her hands again, "there's no need to be baby, really, he's just trying it on, we had medical and you won't have been the person to agree that stuff anyway it would have been me, so its ok really?"
D wasn't listening, she pulled her hand away quickly and grabbed her stomach and yelped in pain.
seconds later a pool of water rushed onto the floor.  her eye's looked at me, fright and calm at the same time. Now gasping for air she started panting. "Jon, get help, now, the baby... who whoo ...its coming...."
I sat for a second then pressed my call bell, Terri wandered in, she saw D clutching her stomach and ran off to get assistance, in seconds my Dr came in to my room, together with a chair,  I felt panic as I asked, "Have you called an ambulance?"
my Dr laughed at me, I felt pissed and let her know it "what this aint no fucking laughing matter, she needs to get to hospital?"
"Jon," her hand rested on my shoulder, there's no ambulance called, because there is no time, your baby is on its way, were moving Dot to another room." then smiling at me she said" it looks as if your gonna have your wish, you will be present at the birth of your baby after all. Ill send Terri in with a gown and mask and then have you brought down ok?"
with that she left and took D with her, I felt totally shell shocked, as Terri returned with the gown and mask, helping me gown up she ordered me to sit in my nemesis and wheeled me at doubled speed to the room where D was, my Doc was there supervising and ordering D to breathe in and out, gas and air had been given and in between panting she sucked hard on the mouth piece. Terri wheeled me next to D, and I took her hand, I felt totally useless as I watched my beautiful wife, scream out in pain and push our baby further and further into the world, sweat beaded on her brow, as she sucked another shot of gas and air into her lungs, then screwed her eye's tight as she pushed with all her might, her nails dug deep into my hand, but I said nothing and just whispered words of encouragement. "C'mon baby, just a little more..." she looked at me then at Doc who was monitoring everything, "you doing great D, now I need you to take another shot of air and give me one last push, Baby is nearly here... ok, 1,2,3, ready?" D sucked again on the air and gas and then pushed so hard her nails dug into my hand so bad my hand bled, I stood, and watched over her as she screamed out one last time, then the most beautiful sound filled the room, the cries of our baby, who was here. releasing her grip on my hand I looked at her, and lent forward and kissed her damp forehead... "you've done it baby, we have a ?"
Doc looked at me, "Its a girl..."
looking back at D, tears filled my eye's, " we have a baby girl, D, we have a daughter..." D looked exhausted but happy as she finally rested her head back on the pillow. Our eye's met together as our love was cemented in unity, and now being parents.
"Jon, do you wanna to the cutting?"
I looked at the Doc, then the chord, "you mean I can do that?, what if I do it wrong?"
yes, you can do that, and you wont get it wrong, Ill show you where.. come..."
nervously, I moved down to where the Dr was holding the surgical scissors, putting my hand into the handle, Doc positioned the instruments in the right place, "just there Jon..." I pressed the metal blades together and severed the tie that our daughter had with D, then I was handed the most perfect bundle of life ever, our daughter. Moving back near to D, I sat and showed our daughter to her as I placed her in her mothers arms.
"Doc called over, "she's perfect, her weight is good too, 8lb 10oz.... Congratulations both..." on that last word Doc and the guys left us alone to celebrate the arrival of our beautiful baby girl.... nothing else mattered n the world right now, other than the two precious girls by my side, the unconditional love I felt for D and my daughter was overwhelming and  I couldn't help feeling self satisfied and full of joy.

Chapter 59

Back in my room, I was doubly pissed now... how the fuck could I tell D that I was appearing in court on our babies due date.... I stared out the window planning my best plan of action and decided to just out with the truth. All I could do was have my ma on stand by for the baby's arrival just in case, and I prayed my appearance in court would not be too long.

my mind was so focused on how I was gonna tell D, I did not here my Doc come in. "Good Afternoon Jon, Terri tells me you want to see me?"
I jumped as she spoke, then collected my myself and focused on what I wanted to say to her.
"yeah, I did, I do..."
"so go head, although I have some idea what this could be about."
She stood leaning with her back against the wall.
For the first time in forever I stood to address her, perching my butt on the window ledge, it made me feel not so intimidated as when I was sat down.
"thing is Doc, I've been speaking to my wife, and well she is so close to giving birth, keeping her calm right now is the most important thing to me." I paused waiting for her reply, she looked on but said nothing still clutching the clip board she carried tight to her chest. "but, and that's the thing see, she aint calm, she's stressed, know why?"
Still doc said nothing, and now I was getting more pissed by the second, my Italian temper, that I had managed to keep in check so far, now took hold as I spat my last few words, "as your not saying anything I'll fucking tell you, its because of you. You have told my wife that there is not way on earth I will be home for my babies arrival?, where the fuck do you get off telling my wife that?, if it is anyone's job that's mine. You have broken the professional code of conduct for Dr's here and now I ant a fucking good reason why you've done that."

Doc finally moved, and stood just close to the end of the bed, she placed her clip board on the bed table, then leaning forward she spoke.
"Jon." catching my stink eye, she started again. "Mr Bongiovi, your wife came to see me a week ago, she wanted my professional opinion on you attending and being present at the birth, she told me despite your promises she was worried not just for herself and the baby, but for you and your immune system and your overall fitness. I broke no professional conduct as I was addressing concerns of your next of kin."
"Right and that means you tell her I wont be fucking fit enough to be there does it?"
"Mr Bongiovi, you have increased your fitness level and worked hard to achieve all you have, but your body is really only 80% fixed at this time. Your immunity levels are low and you stand a huge risk to everyone right now if you ignore my advice, you will find yourself back in hospital and set your recovery back 50%, If I did not advise you of what you could face, well then as you say I would be neglectful of doing my job."
I was in full flow and carried on, "but babies are born in sterile units right?"
"Yes, but germs are still present, its those germs that you being exposed too makes you so vulnerable."
"So what's the difference between being here and going from room to re- hab than being in the birthing unit?"
"Its simple, you are not being taken outside first Mr Bongiovi, you are within the hospital confines."
"so your telling me I cannot be at my child's birth?"
"no not at all Mr Bongiovi, if you wish to jeopardise your recovery, then you must do as you see fit."
"Look, can't I take extra vitamins to help me fight these bugs and germs?"
"there's nothing more we can give, you are taking the highest dose possible right now of your vitamins, the issue as I keep saying is your weakened immune system."
She paused waiting for my next onslaught, but I think at last it was now sinking in to my thick skin. when I did speak this time it was about my subpoena and appearing in court.
"There is no way you can attend at this time, with your immune system it could be fatal, if you have the order I will contact the police and the courts and advise them that you will not be attending court." I handed the Doc the documents.
I felt bad that I had now let my temper get the better of me, and bad that I had spoken to the Doc in the way I did, but my Italian pride would not bend to let me apologise, so I mumbled a very meek thanks instead.
Back sitting on the bed, I sat again as I started staring out of the window thinking on my next course of action and now that I had to back track on D giving birth to our baby and that I was gonna miss the special event.

Chapter 58

I slept thinking on what Doc had told D, I was pissed and angry, so when Terri brought in my food tray I asked her to speak to the Doc and ask her to come see me. She looked at me as if she was gonna say something then thought better of it and just confirmed my request. I sat and ate my oatmeal in silence, even though I had the TV set switched on it was nothing but noise in the back ground.

When Terri returned to remove my tray I was already half way to the bathroom to get ready for gym.

"Hey, Jon, you know your suppose to wait for me or one of us to be with you in case you fall?"

I gave her the stink eye but stayed quiet.  she caught my look and replied vocally... "Erm excuse me, could we change the attitude please, I was just saying... man what is with you today?"

This time I had to speak, "Leave it Terri, ok, its not you... I'm just pissed"

"Yeah, I get that, but who or what has frosted your cookies now? what' gives?"

"Nothing, its not you, I'm taking it out on the wrong person...." It'll be good, what time did Doc say she would call to see me?"

"She didn't "
Again my temper reared its head, again directed at the wrong person.

"Great, being avoided again, I suppose I'm low on her priority list now I'm near all fixed right?".

"hey not fair Jon, Doc has more patients than you bud? your not the only one here recovering from a serious illness..."

"Yeah, I get that Terri,  but neither does doc have the right to screw with my family." 

Terri looked at me, "what she done?" 

I raised my hand, I wasn't gonna talk to Terri about what my issue was, so stayed quiet and went into the bathroom, I shut the door as I stripped off my night clothes and started the shower, letting the water run to warm up I brushed and flossed my teeth, then stepped into the shower and allowed the warm water to cascade over my tense muscles. I stood trying to relax until the water ran cool. Turning the faucet off I stepped out onto the mat and dried myself off. The chair to the left held my gym kit for the day.

All dressed I opened the door allowing the scented steam to enter the bed area and evaporate as it hit the cold air. Terri was waiting for me. She stood and followed behind as I made for the door. Waiting silently was my nemesis the chair. Terri snook in behind and placed her hands on the handles waiting for me to sit so she could wheel me to the gym. 

I looked at the chair then Terri. I knew what I had to do to prove myself ready to go home in time for when our baby was born." I'm walking this morning" I turned my back and took small steps waiting for Terri to catch up, when she did to my surprise she said nothing.

It took longer than normal, but we made it, and I was still feeling pretty good. Terri went over to my trainer for the day Calum, I knew she was letting him know about firstly walking and second my bad mood.
Calum and Terri both walked over to me together. Calum spoke first. "So Jon, Terri here tells me you walked to gym this morning?"
I shook my head, and again with attitude added... "yeah, what of it?"
he looked taken aback, and looked at Terri who gave him the I told you so look. "What's with the attitude, what we do?"
It seemed in my minds eye until I had spoken to Doc, everyone was fair game for my dark mood. It was already proving it was gonna be a real long day.
Calum went to speak again, just as his attention was caught and he was called away to the receptionist waiting at the door with two men. When he returned, he addressed me directly. " Jon it seems there are two police officers over there wanting to talk with you."
I looked to the door way as Calum spoke. I could see the two officers waiting for me, they were both dressed in suits, and I had a good idea why they were standing there.

The trial with my old manager and the Doc that had put me in here was current headline news, and things were wrapping up and they were looking for me to give evidence. I knew this day was coming, but did it have to be today for fucks sake.

Slowly I walked over to where they were both standing.
the taller, grey haired cop spoke first. " Mr Bongiovi, Sorry to bother you sir, but there are some questions we need to ask, is there somewhere private we could go to talk?"
Calum was behind and offered his office, then led the way, with us following.

I sat on the side of the desk that Calum used, my eye's looked down drawn to the paperwork laying on the desk in front of me. It was my report and details of my progress.
Trying to focus on the officers, I looked up and closed the report and moved it to the side, then addressing the men sat opposite me I asked...
"So what can I do for you?"
Again the grey haired cop spoke, "Thank you for taking time out to speak with us, we know your still fighting to get your health back on track," they then looked at one then the other before they continued.
"The reason for our visit is to ask a question that relates directly to you regarding Manning, your Doc that was on tour with you."
"Yeah?"
"Manning say's you asked him to source the steroids and drugs he prescribed after another Doc had left your services, he tells that you fought him to get the drugs, despite his advise telling you not to take them due to the health implications, is this correct?"
In a flash it became clear that, Doc and manning were trying to shift the blame.

"what?, please tell me you guys are not serious?" I spat my reply, not bothered that I was being and looked like a total ass,
"Manning was employed by Doc McGee to look after me, the only thing I was guilty of was trusting my manager, so in reply to your question, No officers I did not ask him to get the drugs that he pumped into my body" on a roll I continued, " night after night, and let me quote exactly what my manager said to me, on the one occasion my voice was totally shot?"
"Jonny, if you wanna make it big and run with the big dogs, stop whining and pissing like a puppy... he instigated the whole thing, and between them they got me working constant even though my vocals chords were raw and shot, so here's a suggestion, Why don't you speak with the guys in the band too, cause fact is, Richie, my best friend and guitarist, gave me one of his kidneys so I could survive? you think if I'd been responsible for the drugs he would have done that?" I answered my own question, "no course he wouldn't... " I stood as I continued, " now if there is nothing else, I need to get back to my workout..."
I knew I was being a jack ass, but now as well as my Dr,  I was even more  pissed that Doc and Manning were lying trying to cover there own tracks, and secondly I was pissed the allegations were being taken seriously and I was being questioned.
I moved to the door to open it, as the officers got up, reaching the door and stood next to me, they dropped the bombshell.
"Thank you for your time Mr Bongiovi, but we are not fully done sir, there is one more thing, you need to know,  sir, you are being called to take the stand and give evidence." he waved the envelope near to my face as he spoke his final sentence before leaving. " but, Thank you for your time and good day"
as he passed by me and headed with the other officer to the exit, he handed me the subpoena, as I opened it and read,  my heart sank,  the day I was due in court to give evidence was on the day that D was looking to give birth to our daughter.

Chapter 57

Thursday 5th April, I checked the calendar sat next to me D day was approaching and fast. I counted down the days to the proposed boom day, then took ten days off first one way and added ten days in the other.
Id been working real hard at getting myself fit for babies arrival, but as far as I went forward, Doc knocked me back. "We need you fit psychically and mentally and for your immune system to be fighting fit too, when baby arrives your gonna be subjected to all sorts of germs and the like."
Each time I gave her the same reply. "I'll be ready." annoyingly each time she just smiled and said nothing.
My trainer and physio pushed me hard. I was working so hard now, at the end of the sessions my muscles hurt like a bitch and I had to have rub downs and massages to stop my muscles cramping. I was drinking electrolyte replacement drinks too. The question, did I feel any better, or ready for my first babies arrival, No, fucking way, and honestly I was shitting myself. At night now instead of thinking and dreaming positive thoughts about becoming a pop, I was having nightmares, with the same one recurring plenty.

When D visited, her bump always looked like it had grown ten fold from her last visit, scary as that was only two days previous. My eye's automatically drawn to her belly yesterday when she walked in.
"What? am I that big now, you only see my belly, not me?" I quickly looked away and tried making light that baby was making his mark. As she sat next to me, with her hand resting on the bump, tears filled her eye's as she let her feelings flow out.
"you got that right, when baby's born my skin is gonna look like an old sack, and you'll not want me anymore?"
I took her hand in mine, "hey where's all this coming from?" through misty eye's, she looked at me, "I don't know, but everytime I look at myself in the mirror I see this fat blob, with over stretched skin, and, well I'm kinda scared... what if my skin don't go back, what if I'm left with lots of loose skin? huh? then what?"
"D, hunni, your having a baby?, and stop with this nonsense ok?, your beautiful and I love you... stop this worrying, your gonna be fine you'll see..."
She was down as she replied, "I hope your right?, but if I'm left with trailing skin 2 miles long following behind my butt, don't forget I told you so..."
"Look, if the very worse happens I'll still love you, your my wife and mommy to our lil one in here?" I patted her stomach. "So stop already... your are beautiful..." I reached over and kissed her lips...
A weak smile spread across her ruby read glowing lips, truthfully, D looked the mother of perfect health and she was glowing, and mother hood definitely agreed with her. While I was studying her she started again... "what?, what's with you now, why you looking at me all funny like that?"
"I aint looking at you funny, I just thinking how beautiful you are"
"Yeah right, if being a whale is beautiful, I'm your gal..."
"D, stop, you are beautiful....what's with you? your normally the voice of reason, I'm usually the ass.."
I chose the wrong words on the wrong day... "oh so I'm an ass now am I?, I'm feeling pretty low about myself, but I'm an ass... well thanks a heap Jon..."
she stood and walked over to the window and turned her back to me.
"Baby, listen that's not what I meant, and you know it. all's I meant was I'm the one that normally acts like a jack ass, your always my voice of reason, and your acting so out of character today, that's all... I'd never call you an ass..." I tried making light of it, "Well not to your face anyway, you'd kick my butt so hard I'd be in china before I knew it...."
She turned round to look at me, another weak smile on her lips... her face was still troubled, I patted the bed next to me and asked her to sit.
she moved over and sat, with her hand resting on the baby bump, she looked at me the same tears were still glistening in her eye's...
"Oh baby, what is it?"
"I'm scared Jon, really scared...your in here, I'm at home alone, its getting nearer and nearer, and still there's no talk of you coming home.... an well, I don't think I can cope alone..."
"your not gonna have to cope alone , I'm working real hard and I will be home for you and our new arrival, I promise.... I wont let you down.."
"Please Jon, don't make promises you can't keep... I spoke to your Dr before I came in today, she tells me that she don't think your immune system will be ready to cope...."
"What?"
"yeah, she says, your are now physically ready, but your body internally aint... she thinks it will be another few months yet... what am I gonna do?"
big sobs came as she let it all out... I sat stunned by what I heard, then I took control. taking D hand in mine I spoke, "Listen to me, the Dr knows her stuff right, but I know my body better than anyone, and I'm telling you baby, and promising you I will be ready and there for you both.... no questions... ok?"
through her tears she smiled, more this time like the D I knew... she squeezed my hand and looked deep into my eye's, "god I do hope so, I cant do this without you..." as she laid her head onto my shoulder my next fight was with my Doc, then myself to get ready for our new arrival, no more worrying, it was time to stand up and be counted... I was gonna be a pop....and I had to be there from the start no matter what.

chapter 56

Back at rehab, Dr was pleased with me, and my pardon was extended to a whole weekend if my progress continued. I kept thinking on D and my baby, everytime, I felt like quitting thinking of them both made me push that bit harder to get myself home.
Ches was my new therapist and trainer and he was relentless in driving me to eat right, and complete the exercise's five times a day. when I was flagging, he ordered energy juice to lift me, then after a ten minute break he pushed me right back to it.
I was doing reps today using my legs and the bar lift. "ok, Jon, now lift and curl, c'mon you can do this, I need fifty... go..."
he stood at the side and timed me, sweat broke out and my heart rate increased, I was 25 reps in, and my body was aching and tired and needed to rest, but I kept on going, beads of sweat trickled down my face, and I was breathing hard as I pushed and pushed, every muscle ached with every rep, but I carried on, groans escaped my lips, but still I continued....  I was pleased when ches started the count down as we neared fifty, "c'mon, just a few more, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, that's it and rest...well done buddy..." he ticked off another check on the list he had clipped to his board, then came round and sat on the steps next to me which were the next port of call for me.
"you should be pleased with that, your improving and getting stronger day by day, my heart was still beating really fast and I was breathless as I answered in short spells.
"I'm doing this so I can get home for when my  baby is born..."
"ahhh your gonna be a papa?"
I shook my head, a smile escaping my lips... "Yeah"
"When you due?"
"May, or there abouts..."
Ches looked at the calendar, "well we have some more serious work to do if your gonna be home on time for Baby's arrival, and let me tell ya these exercise's will seem like a walk in the park when baby's here...."
"What you saying having a kid is harder?" my breathing was returning to normal and I was able to hold more of a conversation with out gasping for breath.
"yeah course it is..."
I felt a little nervous, "so you got kids then..." Ches smiled "yeah, a boy and a girl, boy is 2 and girl is 6 months"
"wow, so your and ol hand at raising kids then?"
he laughed out loud, "hardly, cant really say I'm an old hand at it, mine are still babies really, let me just say, it's a learning curve, and one you won't forget..."
" a learning curve.."
"yeah, there's no hand book buddy, when that little bundle screams and opens there lungs, you are there, you have to find what's wrong and deal with it, they cant talk and they rely on you for everything..."
"well I kinda got that... aint it just a case of diaper changing and feeding?"
Ches looked at me, " you think that's it?"
"well aint it?"
he chuckled as he stood up ready to start me on another round of reps with the bar, " mostly yeah, but then there's the colic, nappy rash, infections, coughs, sneezes, temperatures... the list is endless, and let me add, not any one kid is the same... Tamara my little one, she is pretty good and sleeps most of the night, wakes us about 6am for a feed, but Miles, he was something else, every feed he had resulted in him being sick, he could not take bottle formula, he was allergic to it, and it seems milk too, he's lactose intolerant.. had us up all night every night...it was a trying time I can tell ya.."
I'd never heard of a baby being allegic to milk, nervously I asked, "how long dd it take to find out?"
"month or so, they ran test and the like, at one point he was admitted to hospital and was fed by tube, while they found out what the problem was..."
"what he have now then?"
"he's good on goats milk and soya products, look I aint trying to scare ya, cause right now you look like a deer caught in the headlights, I'm just giving ya the heads up on what can happen, now you ready to start again..."
I shook my head, "right shall we go for sixty this time?"
again I shook my head as we started in on another round. by the final count out, my legs and thigh muscles were burning, as I cooled I was given another drink, "here drink this its full of electrolytes to replace what you lost during that work out, right break for lunch and I'll see you back here at 1pm ok?"
Mike arrived and helped me into the chair as he took me back to my room. I was thinking on what Ches had told me about his little boy and I was anxious, what if my baby became sick like that?, how would I know what to do....
as we pulled into the room I was surprised to see my ma waiting there.
"mom, what you doing here, thought you were avoiding me?"
"hello hunni, now why would I avoid you?"
" the sex of the baby?"
"Oh, that, look it was completely by accident, I swear..."
my ma look at me trying to portray a look of innocence, "Stop already ma, I know the truth."
"You do?, what truth?"
"you asked the Doc ma, he told D"
"I didn't, he's lying, I saw the scan and said how on could you understand all the blobs, where would the little boy bits be if it was a boy, he then pointed to where on the scan they would be, and as there was none showing I assumed the baby was a little girl... so I didn't actually ask him..."
"and that makes it alright does it?"
she hung her head, "no I guess not.." then looking up she added, "but I really am sorry, you have to believe me when I say I meant no harm?"
I was to tired to argue, Tessa came in just at that moment and brought my lunch. placing the tray in front of me, I lifted the cloche and took my fork and began to eat.
My ma was still stood near by and came round and sat on the edge of the bed next to me. "smells nice."
I shook my head, "it's ok, edible, if I'm honest I'd eat molasses if it meant getting home quicker."
"what fish is it?"
"tuna I guess, not sure..."
she watched me intently, "you know you wanna slow down and chew more so your food digests better..."
I just gave her the stink eye. she held her hands up, "ok, just saying"
as I took another mouthful I asked, "Ma, what's it like being a first time parent?" I hoped she would answer without questioning me too much on why I was asking.
I was lucky she drifted into lala land easily, "its the most exciting and wonderful time in a couples life, holding something you have both created, you feel a love like you have never felt before... and all in the world is perfect..."
"Ok ma, that bit I kinda get, but what about routines an the like, how's that work?"
"its different for every baby, you will all learn together what's best for you," then she chuckled, "or should I say baby decides and you settle into baby's demands..." she added, "you'll both be fine, you'll see..."
Now I had two people warn me about parenthood, with a heavy heart I headed back to my workout, and tried to focus on the task at hand, and hoped in my heart that baby would be delayed for at least a month or so.....

Chapter Fifty Five

As the guests left, I sat and surveyed the damage, the caterers walked round collecting the rubbish, D was still buzzing with the excitement, she was radiant, motherhood definitely suited her. My ma on the other hand had stayed as far away from me as she could, after our small talk she had took off like a rabbit caught in the headlights. I loved my ma, make no mistake, but sometimes I just wish she would back out and stop interfering.
 Lurch came over, "ready?"
"no, I wanna go inside the house" He looked at his watch as he spoke,
"there's only minutes left"
"ok, I know, but throw me some slack already, there's something I wanna do, it will take five minutes at most." It was clear by the look on his face he didn't want too but he took me inside anyway, he pushed roughly and made grunting sounds before he parked me near the wall cabinet, able to reach easily, I opened the draw and took out the photo album D had started, I opened it up and took out the scanned picture of our baby, fuzzy lines and a blurred image stared back at me... how the fuck can you tell what sex it is from this?, I don't think anyone could tell even a MD, I was transfixed at the image looking back at me, and I was filled with pride and over come with so many emotions they caught me by surprise. D walked over, "honey, you ok?"
I shook my head, and wiped my eye's with the back of my hand, "Yeah, I'm good.." I looked up at her smiling, "you have made today perfect for our little Jovi in there," I spoke directly at her growing bump, " you hear little Jovi, your mommy has done you proud today, and we cant wait to meet you...  We both love you so much already... and we promise to be the best mommy and daddy in the whole world for you" D looked down smiling at me, and I looked up at her, we shared a moment of connection as expectant parent together, D opened her mouth to speak but before she could say anything Lurch was back at my side,
"time to go." he has already took off the brakes and had got behind ready to push me when D spoke up, "for the love of god, cut him some space here, he's my husband, the father of our baby, I know you have orders, but you could see we were talking, where are your manners? were you dragged up, now go away, I will tell you when my husband is ready." she stood with her hands on her hips, Lurch just stood with his arms in front and crossed across his hips, and made a stand not moving.
"I have orders." was all he said, this time D snapped. "I said GO, MOVE YOUR MUTHER FUCKING ASS OUT MY WAY."
he looked first at D then at me, and moved himself across the room and stood glaring at us.
"Babe, its ok really,"
"no Jon its not, he's been god damn rude all day, and I've had enough."
she sat next to me on the arm of the couch, her hands resting down her sides, then on her bump.
"Who does he think he is?"
I took her hand in mine, "forget him, he's not important, what's important is right here right now, you me and our growing baby, nothing can take away this memory, lets treasure this, our first baby together?"
she smiled at me, "your right, but he's been like a bad smell hanging around, at one point I thought he would attack my mom.."
we both looked over at the sour sullen face waiting to take me back to rehab. then we laughed, as the laughter died, there was a silence between us, but it was comfortable, I was the one to break it
"well I guess that's me then?"
"Do you have to go back?"
"Yeah, Dr's orders"
"I miss you so much, I need you here with me.." her eye's filled with tears as she held her head down, trying to not let me see.
"hey, where's all this come from?, you knew the score babe?, I'm working real hard to get home faster?"
"I know, I'm just being a jerk, seems like I have no control over my emotions these days..." she tried smiling to hide the ache that was clear in her heart.
"I promise D, I'll be back home before you know it..."
she held my hand, and grimaced a smile to show behind the hurt she was fighting. leaning down she kissed me, and I kissed her, and held the moment together for as long as we could. breaking away, the love we had or each other was stronger than ever before, her eye's showed me and I hoped mine told her.

Chapter 54

The day had arrived, I was going home to spend the day with my beautiful wife and enjoy the baby shower that had been organised, I was getting impatient waiting for all the checks before Doc would let me pass go. I swear I could hear the ticks of the clock taunting me...
But at 10.32am, I was given my reprieve as she said I was good to go, I sat myself in the wheel chair and pretending to crack the whip I got Evan, a new orderly, to push me to the waiting transport, provided by the hospital.
I said I'd get a taxi but Doc would not hear of it, and to add to the day I was to be back at rehab by 5pm, I honest to god felt like Cinder fucking rella, but I said nothing chewed my cud and set about enjoying the day to celebrate the coming arrival of our baby.

I lived a short twenty five minute trip from where I was staying, so all was good and it took next to know time before we had pulled up outside.
D and my mom came rushing out to greet  me, the driver, said nothing and did not even acknowledge my family. I made a comment, "you know it wont hurt to smile and be polite once in a while, saying hello won't kill ya?" he just gave me a look and grunted, then got out of the car and went round the back to get the chair.

He had no personality or people skills and only allowed me to stand as he positioned the chair for me to sit again, he used monosyllables "Stand" "Sit" I was expecting a pat on the head and a bone.
I tried to joke with him, but it was met again with silence, I told myself to just ignore it, even though it was really starting to piss me off. I clenched my jaw real tight and decided to just do everything he told me, so I could get in the house Bless,my ma tried taking over, only to find herself on the end of his tongue. " ma'am desist, that is my job.. thank you."  my ma, looked at me, then stood to the side to allow Lurch which was the name I'd now given him to get me seated comfortable in one of the arm chairs. Inside it was decorated in keeping with the shower, blues and pinks adorned the shelves, throws and blankets over the furnishings... it really looked amazing, and as a guy who don't normally do that kinda thing I was surprised at me, and how well D had made the place look.
"wow D the place looks amazing."
"I know don't it, wait till your see out back.... its... well you'll see?"  she was glowing, she rested her hand on our baby bump, and her eye's sparkled as she was looking around at her own handiwork.
"Can I go take a look see?"
"no, not yet, wait for everyone to arrive first ok?"
I pouted, which made D laugh, something I had not heard her do for some time. Despite lurch watching over me like a fly hovering around its dinner, it was good being home. I missed it real bad.
By lunch time, guests had started arriving congratulating us both on our expected arrival, it was great seeing friends that I had not seen in like forever, but answering questions about me, was difficult, they wanted to know what happened, why it happened, thank god for my ma, pop and D, other wise I think I would have lost it.
by mid afternoon the guests had filtered out back to where D was holding the shower. Lurch took me outback and I was amazed at how the yard had been changed into a baby paradise, everything trimmed out in blue and pink, to match inside the home, tables laid in white linen with either a blue or pink overlay, baskets with either a girl of boy doll on the tables which also held the wine. lots of sparkles scattered on the tables too, shining in the sunlight, making everything look alive with lights.  
the bushes, had been covered in fairy lights too and there were two storks marching around the garden with pretend bundles in their beaks. I couldn't take the smile from my face. D lent in close, "so what you think papa Bongiovi?"
as she was near I stole a kiss, and told her "babe its incredible...its really beautiful...." my ma who had been mingling came over, "isn't it fantastic?"
I shook my head, " sure is ma." just look at all the gifts on the table over there? your baby is one lucky girl.... or boy..." she smiled at me then hurried away... I called over D, "what's with my ma, she's just said something not strange but her behaviour is...."
"really?, I don't know why? what she say?"
"that our baby girl.... or boy is lucky then she took off like a bee was chasing her..."
D looked at me perplexed too, "babe I have no idea what's eating her, want me to chase her and find out?"
I shook my head, " nah leave her, maybe its the excitement of it all eh?"
D agreed, "Maybe, but that is strange.."
a thought crossed D's mind, you don't think she has contacted the Dr at the hospital do you and she knows the gender?"
I thought hard, and then like lightening it hit me. "who did your scan?"
"Dr V, why?"
"Cause Dr V, was who delivered me and Matty, I bet she knows... I raised my hand  and called her over, "Ma, here a minute?"
she looked over uneasy, and took her time, when eventually she came and stood by me I asked, "you know don't you?"
"Know what dear?"
"the sex of our baby?"
I don't know what you mean?, how very could I know..." she tried to laugh it off, but I knew my ma too well.
"you could not let alone could you?, you had to spoil our surprise..." D placed her hand on my shoulder and tried to keep me calm, but it was hard, all's I could do was swallow real hard, keep on smiling and carry on the charade of being happy in front of our friends, but once they had gone I was having it out with my mom. make no mistake about that.

Chapter 53

I was determined since Doc had given me a reprieve and allowed me to stay that no matter what was asked of me I'd do, no matter the pain, I would prove I could be a good patient. when Doc told me to eat oatmeal, I ate oatmeal, when Doc told me rest, I rested, when I was told to push I pushed... there was nothing I refused to do, and everyday I got stronger and fitter.
D called in just gone lunch, she was blooming and her baby bump was growing, she had taken to walking with her hand resting protectively on her bump. A sure sign of a mom to be.
Bending over she kissed me on the cheek, "Hey, hows you?"
"Good babe, your blooming... all good?"
"Yeah, just a few nights when baby has the kick of a mule..."
I patted her stomach, "That's my boy..."
"Hey, how you know its a boy? it could be a daughter?"
resting my hand on her stomach and the baby bump, "I don't think so, what says you, eh son?" I pretended to put my ear to her stomach listening to the babys reply.
"I know, of course she won't, she will love you as much as I will... "
D looked at me smiling, "what are you talking about Jon?"
"mmm oh, our son asked if you would be disappointed if he was a boy and not the girl you are hoping for?, I told him no..."
"I really don't care what we are having, as long as the baby is healthy that's fine with me."
as she sat I pulled her gently towards me and kissed her lips, "me too."
"So what's on the cards for you today?"
"Same ol, physio, and stretching, then resting, followed by a delicious meal of fish and potatoes..."
"mmm, so you don't fancy coming to my baby shower then?"
"Baby shower?, when? where?"
"tomorrow, your mom has thrown one for us, I've been taking to Doc and she said as long as you use your chair you can have a day pass and collect $200 bucks and pass go?"
"really?, why she not tell me?"
"simple I asked her not too, I wanted to surprise you... so what ha say Jovi?"
"Jovi, he say yes....."
she hugged me, and I hugged her back, just as Doc came into my room.
D pulled back so we could see Doc, she was looking over my notes before she spoke. "Mmmm you are doing well Jon, keep it up.... at this rate, you will be home for Christmas..."
I was excited, but also down as Christmas was nine months away. "really that long?"
"Oh its not that long, and at least the finishing line is in place, you just have to finish a few marathons to get there."
D spoke, "Babe, you have worked so hard, pleased stay focused for me and the baby...I want you home."
I looked D in the eye, "I will stay focused I promised you didn't I?"
"yeah but you look so low right now?"
"no I'm not low, just shocked I've still got such a long way to go, but no matter I'll get there." Doc spoke, and interjected.
"good that's what I want to hear Jon, so onto brighter things are you looking forward to your day pass tomorrow?"
I nodded my head, "I sure am...."
D took up the conversation, "Doc he will behave I promise you..."
"you are aware it will mean the chair and the only time you can get out is when you need the bathroom... I'm serious here Jon, break the rules you will be back in the main stream hospital quicker than you can say living on a prayer... and you will be..."
I began to feel irked and it showed "Ok, look I know I screwed up at the awards, but I learnt my lesson, I promise you Ill do everything you tell me too."
"A little less attitude please Jon, and oh, no sex..."
What the fuck, where did that come from... I looked at the Doc surprised and shocked at her statement.
"I know how tempting it will be when your alone with your beautiful wife."
I just stared at the Doc, still shocked at her last statement.

Chapter 52

I was eating my breakfast when Doctor Kohn came in with another folder. D was resting on the side of the bed now. I set my fork down watching her as she checked the bag at the side of the bed. “Doc ..”

She looked up at me. “yes Jon....” She lifted the clipboard off the end of my bed and started writing on it. I h ad no idea what she was writing but she didn't look happy about it. She folded her arms waiting for me to speak.

I swallowed looking at my wife who was watching me. I took a deep breath . “I talked with Dottie … I am sorry ...” I rested against my pillows I itched to pull that damn thing out it was uncomfortable even though I was used to it slightly from before. “I promised her no more fighting .. and just concentrating on getting well....”

“no matter what it takes?” She asked.

“No matter what it takes ...” I said reluctantly. I didn't know what that meant but I did know I wasn't going to like it. I shifted to sit up wincing putting my hand on my left side it really did hurt like hell there. I didn't say anything as Doctor Kohn moved over to help me sit up better. I rested my head back.

“Jon I am not going to lie to you … you could have seriously done damage to your body and to the kidney you received right now its very swollen … its NOT being rejected...” I took a breath of relief on that account. “But it is acting up .. so we will have to put you on dialysis to ease some of the struggle its going through right now … once the swelling goes down and your output picks up we will stop and you'll feel better...”

“can can' you do that here ?” I asked hoping and praying that she would be able to. I really didn't want to go back to the hospital. I had seen a few of the other patients on dialysis machines one of the patients I had done therapy with had the same issue I did only he was still doing it once every few weeks.

“If I agree to do this here Jon there will be rules you will have to follow one is you are going to be on bed rest till we can get this situation fixed and there will be no bitching about it no bellyaching that you want out of the bed or out of the room... or I will transfer you to Riverview so fast it will make your head spin....” I nodded my head “secondly Mike will come in and help you with therapy in the bed we will still work with your legs and arms slowly while you are resting just not out of the bed .. and I want you to rest … no arguments …. you over did it and that has set you back … we don't want you to end up doing more damage to your body... we are just getting you to the point where you were able to walk down the bars you were gaining the weight that you needed …. we don't want a relapse. We are not doing this to piss you off Jon we are doing this because we want you to be able to walk out of this center and get back to your life even with the challenges you'll face the rest of your life...” She turned to me “DO we have a deal?”

"sure doc.. we do." she smiled a wry smile as she returned the chart board to the end of my bed. Dot sat up as she left.

"did I hear right Jon?"

"What? not sure on what she had heard and what she hadn't?, "that 1. you agree to Docs demands and 2. that you seriously have risked your life for an award?"

I was starting to feel irked, "thought you already knew Dot, that's why you came here to see me, to tell me about the spotting and the baby and stuff...."

moving my food tray away, I had no appetite  right now, Looking me in the eyes dot answered, "I had a suspicion, but I was not one hundred percent sure of the seriousness of it all. now I know, Jon you gotta promise..."

"I already have Dot, you heard me."

"mmm but I've heard all that before too.... Jon I beg you, for the sake our child and for me, do everything your told..."

I was feeling scalded like a two year old and it didn't sit well with me, but swallowing hard I looked dot back, right in the eye and made her the very same promise I had made the doc.

Kissing me on the lips, she got off the bed, "time I was away, this lil one keeps me up most nights, if it aint acid, its feeling pukey... " she was smiling as she spoke

I smiled right back at D, "it will be so worth it when baby Bongiovi arrives D, and I promise you I will be the very best Dad I can be..."

She smiled again, and flipping her hair over her shoulders she lent down and gave me another kiss, before she walked to the door, turned and waved and blew me another kiss as she left.

 

With her gone, I was left with a plate of half eaten food, and a cold coffee, great, Terri walked in as I was pulling the table back towards me. " Jon, what's with the half left food?" "Doc came to see me, we got talking and its cold now."

"Want me to go reheat it?"

I nodded my head, "Can I have a fresh coffee too?"

"Sure"

taking the food tray and the cold beverage, I snapped the TV on and watched some old movie that was on. My mind was not focused on the movie though but on everything that had happened today. Why did I always over think things? Why couldn't I just listen and do as I was asked?, answering my own silent question, "because I am a stubborn dumbass." just as Terri came back in with my food and fresh coffee.

"I miss something? who's a stubborn dumbass?, not you surely?"

I flushed, but nodded my head in agreement, Terri placed the tray on the table and slid it closer to me,

"my, my we have progress, does that mean, your gonna be a model patient from now on?" again I nodded as I took a bite of my food.

"Looks that way, can you handle a good patient Terri?"

She laughed as she walked to the door, turning to look back she winked, " can you? "

I grinned as I replied.. "Just watch me."

 

 

 

 

Chapter 51

"well doc?" the suspense was killing me. She looked at me, her face set in a hard frown causing her mouth to form in a thin line and a deep burrowed frown in her forehead.
"honestly Jon, I really don't know."
"Doc I swear, I'll do anything you ask me too. Please, I'm begging you, don't send me back..."
"I'll think about it, you will have my answer by dinner time. with that she left my room.
"Rich, can you talk to her?, get her to see..."
"Hey tough call Jon, I aint no medical guru...."
"No but you know what going back there will do to me right?"
"But it aint my call bro, sorry nothing I can do."
"Wont more like...."
"Hey what's with the attitude?"
I turned my face away from him.... I knew it was my own fault, but none the less we were friends and friends looked out for each other. that's how I was brought up anyway.
"Jon, explain the attitude? cause right now bro you are giving out way more than I can take"
snapping my head back round I spat back at him....
"And having no control over my own fucking life is more than I can take too, everyone thinks they no better..."
"thinks they know better?, try they do Jon, they are trained professionals, they have a vested interest in you, but do you appreciate that? no sir, you seem hell bent on defying them to risk your life " Rich was mad and made no bones about it, when he paced it was a real bad sign.... he carried on, " they save your life, fuck man I helped them do that, are you grateful?, well are you?"
without me having a chance to answer he continued... "no fucking way, but what you are Jon is full of your own self fucking pity and I for one have had my belly full of it. when you grow up Jon, give me a call." rich spun on his hells and left my room.

I was left reeling and in a state of shock. where had that come from. Was I really that much of a diva, having spent most of life keeping my feet on the ground, how did I miss that then? I was thinking on it when Teri came in.

"no activity for you today then?" I sat silent just staring at the ceiling. "Jon?"
my eyes flicked to look at Teri, mumbling my reply she stood at the end of my bed her hands on her hips and a frown on her face too.
"What?, what is with everyone today?"
"What's with the attitude more like Jon? What's gotten into you today?"
"Nothing, I'm just outta sorts I guess, I can have an off day can't I?"
"hmmm nothing to do with having to return to hospital then?"
"I'm definitely going then?"
"I dunno know Jon, I've heard it being talked about. Doc really is pissed at you."
"Look Teri I fucked up, I know that, but I really don't wanna go back there, can you help me?"
"Jon, I wish I could, but this is serious bud, Doc will make the right choice, to help though I would change your mind set and prove to her she has backed the right horse, you hear what I'm saying?"
I nodded my head, "Right I'll be back with your tray shortly ok?"
"Yeah, ok."
As Teri left D walked in, I could not stop myself... "Great judging by your face your gonna have a go too...alright then out with it?"
"Well hello nice to see you too Jon. Actually I was coming to show you a picture of your baby.... I had our first scan today."
my temper dropped instantly, but I was alarmed,
"that's early aint it?"
"Doc says no, I had a little spotting and they just wanted to check everything was ok?"
"And?"
"Everything is fine..."
I brightened up immediately, "So you got the picture?"
"Sure," D came and sat on the bed, and pulled out the picture from her purse.
"Daddy meet your baby..."
I took the picture in my hands and looked at the grey fuzzy image in front on me, tears sprang to my eye's as I looked at the picture and then at Dot.
"Its a...."
"Miracle.... I know, so what do you say Jon?"
"Say?, I don't follow?"
"Oh you do, your attitude, being pig headed and a dumbass?"
"Oh that?"
"Yes Oh that?"
"I'm sorry babe, but it's hard for me, ya know, don't do this, don't do that..."
"But why do they say that to you Jon?"
"To piss me off...no forget that, I know why, and I will try harder.. I will"
D looked at me seriously,
"Jon, I'm gonna level with ya ok?"
she took my hand, "I had spotting...."
"Spotting? What's that mean?"
"Spots of blood, Dr thinks its because of stress, I need to be calm, ok?,  no more fights between you wanting to do your own thing,..... fighting the Dr's,....." her eye's were pleading with me, " I need, no your baby and me need you to focus on getting well, we need you home, Ok, can you do that for us.... Please?"
I swallowed hard, D's pleas sinking in, we nearly lost our baby because of me being an ass. I took no time in replying, as I brought her hand to my lips, and made my vow and promise,
"D I love you more than anything, and our baby, from this moment on whatever the Doc say's I'll do no arguments I promise, that's  from the bottom of my heart. "
"Even if it means you gotta go back to hospital?"
"even that..." I smiled at her, and I meant everything I said, from now on I was gonna be a model patient, I had to get home and see my child born. I was gonna be a daddy after all.