Chapter 51

"well doc?" the suspense was killing me. She looked at me, her face set in a hard frown causing her mouth to form in a thin line and a deep burrowed frown in her forehead.
"honestly Jon, I really don't know."
"Doc I swear, I'll do anything you ask me too. Please, I'm begging you, don't send me back..."
"I'll think about it, you will have my answer by dinner time. with that she left my room.
"Rich, can you talk to her?, get her to see..."
"Hey tough call Jon, I aint no medical guru...."
"No but you know what going back there will do to me right?"
"But it aint my call bro, sorry nothing I can do."
"Wont more like...."
"Hey what's with the attitude?"
I turned my face away from him.... I knew it was my own fault, but none the less we were friends and friends looked out for each other. that's how I was brought up anyway.
"Jon, explain the attitude? cause right now bro you are giving out way more than I can take"
snapping my head back round I spat back at him....
"And having no control over my own fucking life is more than I can take too, everyone thinks they no better..."
"thinks they know better?, try they do Jon, they are trained professionals, they have a vested interest in you, but do you appreciate that? no sir, you seem hell bent on defying them to risk your life " Rich was mad and made no bones about it, when he paced it was a real bad sign.... he carried on, " they save your life, fuck man I helped them do that, are you grateful?, well are you?"
without me having a chance to answer he continued... "no fucking way, but what you are Jon is full of your own self fucking pity and I for one have had my belly full of it. when you grow up Jon, give me a call." rich spun on his hells and left my room.

I was left reeling and in a state of shock. where had that come from. Was I really that much of a diva, having spent most of life keeping my feet on the ground, how did I miss that then? I was thinking on it when Teri came in.

"no activity for you today then?" I sat silent just staring at the ceiling. "Jon?"
my eyes flicked to look at Teri, mumbling my reply she stood at the end of my bed her hands on her hips and a frown on her face too.
"What?, what is with everyone today?"
"What's with the attitude more like Jon? What's gotten into you today?"
"Nothing, I'm just outta sorts I guess, I can have an off day can't I?"
"hmmm nothing to do with having to return to hospital then?"
"I'm definitely going then?"
"I dunno know Jon, I've heard it being talked about. Doc really is pissed at you."
"Look Teri I fucked up, I know that, but I really don't wanna go back there, can you help me?"
"Jon, I wish I could, but this is serious bud, Doc will make the right choice, to help though I would change your mind set and prove to her she has backed the right horse, you hear what I'm saying?"
I nodded my head, "Right I'll be back with your tray shortly ok?"
"Yeah, ok."
As Teri left D walked in, I could not stop myself... "Great judging by your face your gonna have a go too...alright then out with it?"
"Well hello nice to see you too Jon. Actually I was coming to show you a picture of your baby.... I had our first scan today."
my temper dropped instantly, but I was alarmed,
"that's early aint it?"
"Doc says no, I had a little spotting and they just wanted to check everything was ok?"
"And?"
"Everything is fine..."
I brightened up immediately, "So you got the picture?"
"Sure," D came and sat on the bed, and pulled out the picture from her purse.
"Daddy meet your baby..."
I took the picture in my hands and looked at the grey fuzzy image in front on me, tears sprang to my eye's as I looked at the picture and then at Dot.
"Its a...."
"Miracle.... I know, so what do you say Jon?"
"Say?, I don't follow?"
"Oh you do, your attitude, being pig headed and a dumbass?"
"Oh that?"
"Yes Oh that?"
"I'm sorry babe, but it's hard for me, ya know, don't do this, don't do that..."
"But why do they say that to you Jon?"
"To piss me off...no forget that, I know why, and I will try harder.. I will"
D looked at me seriously,
"Jon, I'm gonna level with ya ok?"
she took my hand, "I had spotting...."
"Spotting? What's that mean?"
"Spots of blood, Dr thinks its because of stress, I need to be calm, ok?,  no more fights between you wanting to do your own thing,..... fighting the Dr's,....." her eye's were pleading with me, " I need, no your baby and me need you to focus on getting well, we need you home, Ok, can you do that for us.... Please?"
I swallowed hard, D's pleas sinking in, we nearly lost our baby because of me being an ass. I took no time in replying, as I brought her hand to my lips, and made my vow and promise,
"D I love you more than anything, and our baby, from this moment on whatever the Doc say's I'll do no arguments I promise, that's  from the bottom of my heart. "
"Even if it means you gotta go back to hospital?"
"even that..." I smiled at her, and I meant everything I said, from now on I was gonna be a model patient, I had to get home and see my child born. I was gonna be a daddy after all.