Chapter 10

It tore my heart out to see the tears coursing down my best friend's face.
I knew that he had pulled the line out to get D to back off from me but it was a stupid thing to do.
I hated seeing him bound to the bed like this it was like he was some psychotic patient when he wasn't.
He was sick and having him bound to the bed like this wasn't helping him.
The leather restraints looked horrid on his thin arms add in the bruises that were appearing on his arm from the dialysis was making me sick to my stomach.
I grabbed the towel we used to wipe his sweat off his face from the slight fever he had and wiped the tears gently from his cheeks.
I looked at the restraints again and then at my friends parents I didn't care what they thought right now.
I moved to the side and started to unbuckle them.

“Richard what are you doing...” Ma asked. She tried to stop me but I shrugged her off gently. I finally was able to get the one undone then moved to the other one on Pop's side. “Richard Stephan stop this minute...”

“No Ma.. I won't ...” I knew the doctor would be pissed but seeing the frustration on Jon's face and the tears tore my heart out. He had been good before not moving not taking anything out or ripping it out. He did it to protect me no matter how pissed off he was at me. I finally got the last buckle undone. Then rubbed the sore wrists they had been too tight to begin with. “Just relax Jonny they are off now...” I knew part of his problem was being bound there unable to move “Just promise me you won't rip out your lines again... “

He looked up at me in shock then down at his wrists which I was rubbing gently. “You removed them... cause I asked??!” His voice was barely a whisper of air.

I just nodded “I know you'd do the same for me man … no matter how pissed off you were at me.... don't take it the wrong way … I am still pissed at you for shit but I won't have them binding you to a bed like some kind of fuckin psych patient.”

 

I looked up at Richie;  blinking back the tears, despite all the fights, he really was my brother. Smiling I spoke,

"Thanks man, and for what its worth I'm sorry. I'm such a stubborn ass sometimes." 

"Sometimes...that's  questionable"  he smiled at me, but kept a firm grip on my hand, and gave it a  firm squeeze to say he understood. right there and then I knew we would be brothers for life, no matter what life threw at us.

 

"Jon, can I ask ya something?"

I spoke with a barely audible whisper, "Sure"

"Why,... I mean what was it that Doc said that made you carry on, when we had all taken you to a specialist and he had told you to rest? why ignore the advice? none of the guy's or me can understand that" 

 

Richie, never held back and that was a punch I wasn't ready for, but it was time to let on why I did what I did.

 

"Part of it was me being stubborn not wanting to believe what I had been told, and the other part was doc. He told me if I did not sing, you guy's wouldn't get paid, the crew wouldn't be paid and all the hard work we had achieved would be for nothing. he said we were not at the top yet and that to get there I had to stop behaving like a puppy and get a grip. then he brought in a Dr and he told me, using the steroids shots for the last leg of the tour would be fine. they would get me through. I know now he was wrong, but I -I -didn't want to let you all down..... you all gave me everything to run with my dream how could I not do my part......"

 

I turned my head away and closed my eye's, for the millionth time I was crying. I don't know if it was relief or seeing the pain on Richie's face.......

 

"Jon, you risked everything for us?"

I nodded..

 

"Man you have some big balls. I respect you for that too, but bro, us not being paid, aint something new, Doc aint paid us a penny this whole tour. Jon, why do you think the guy's and I were splitting at the end of this leg? none of us got anything out of what we done. we all carried on for you. but seeing you with Doc and blanking us on stage, well..... we all thought you wanted to go solo. it had turned into the Jon show. rehearsals were strained and you gave us all that stupid stink eye so many times, we felt like we were walking on egg shells and anything we did... you didn't approve. I wish we knew and talked sooner"

 

I listened taking in what Richie was saying, the cracks in the band were through me. my stupid stubborn pride and listening to a greedy assole called Doc.

"Richie", I coughed and winced at the pain, pop gave me a drink and I continued. "I am firing Doc"

"Think your too late bro, I already did."

"When?"

"The night you were brought in here. I guess I should have run it by you but I was so angry... I kinda flipped...."

"What he say.."

"He gave some bull shit about you being the only one employed and only you could fire him."

"did he..."

"ummm yeah."

"well I will tell him, and coming from me he will have to take it. if he don't like it he can sue my ass." I

 coughed again. the pain in my throat was like a thousands knives being stuck in all at the same time. Richie gave me a sip of water. I swallowed and continued.

 

 

"I want Bon Jovi to continue Richie......, we owe it to ourselves and our fans,......  but...... I don't wanna do it unless you are by my side...." I waited.....

"Sure man, I'm with ya all the way, but no Doc right? we make our own decisions, we call the shots?"

"yeah, just us, we can do it right?"

"too damn right we can. what about Tico, Dave and Alec?"

"I want Dave and Tico as much as I want you, ... but Alec... man he is really a diva and his drugs... too much for me. he has to go....I hope you agree?" for the third time in minutes I coughed again.... more water and I continued...

"so what ya say Rich?"

"Yeah, count me in, I'll run it by the guys later. As for Alec I think he made his decision when he left the hospital earlier tonight he had quit. his parting words were so touching... laters you muther fuckers...I won't miss his sorry ass... but his playing was good. we still need a bass player."

"Don't worry I have that covered."

"So here we go, Bon Jovi aint dead yet..eh."

"Nah its not, when it's time... I'll sleep"

Richie and I held each others gaze. Our brotherhood bond broke only by Dottie's voice.

 

"Richie, I owe you an apology. I am so sorry, I wrongly accused you of being to blame for Jon being in the condition he is in. I don't know what came over me. I guess I did not want to believe that my husband could be to blame for the way he is and for what he has to face....I don't know what else I can say, I really am sorry and ashamed for what I have done"

Richie hugged Dot, and reassured her it was fine and he understood. Right now it was a testing time for everyone. 

Dot  holding Richie now at arms length smiled, her tears filling her eye's with relief only. I laid looking at my family, I looked  at my ma, who I guess I take after the most, especially, with my hot temper. She looked sad.

"Don't be sad ma, I'm gonna be fine, honest..."

"Oh Jonny, you have no idea what you have done..."

I looked at my pa for answers; he shrugged his shoulders and comforted my mom. I looked at Dottie; who avoided my gaze.

"What is going on? someone please tell me?"

"Dot?"

"Ma?"

none of them would speak. "Richie?"

"Hey man, I have no idea, it's between your family I swear."

"Richie do you know something tell me if ya do please?"

"Man if I knew I'd tell ya, honestly I don't."

I looked back at my ma who was still being consoled by my pop. Dot sat looking down at her hands, and still avoided looking at me. I had a feeling in the pit of my stomach this was bad but could not put my finger on why.