Chapter 12

The next few days all I did was drink the water that I was giving and sleep. I didn't talk I didn't do much of anything. I wrote on the piece of paper that Richie got me.

The next day he showed up with an eraser board and markers. I just gave him a look but grinned at least I could talk in away without talking.

I wrote down on the board seeing my wife sleeping in the chair. I wanted her to go home and rest she hadn't left since she got there. I tapped the board to wake her up. Dot looked at me then the board.

“I am not going home till you do....” She shook her head.

I sighed and wrote on the board again. “I am not going anywhere … “ though it was a lie I was so going to talk my best friend into taking me home. “get some rest at home.... the chair can't be comfortable... “

“sweetheart I don't want to leave you alone...” She took my hand in hers.

“I am not going to be alone Richie's here....” I had sent mom and pop home the day before as they looked exhausted though I knew they would probably be back the next day. Hopefully I wouldn’t' be here for them to find. I had a plan and I was going to use every damn resource I could. I used every argument she could fathom and finally she gave in. Giving me a kiss on the cheek she grabbed her coat gave Richie a hug and left. I sighed and sank into the bed watching as the nurse started my dialysis again. I wrote quickly to Richie “don't they have home set ups like this?”

Richie eyed me “I think so why?” He frowned “Jon you aren't going home yet … this isn't something you can do at home...”

“I don't care I want to go home Richie ..” I tossed the board on the bed. “I want out of this damn place I am tired of being poked and prodded.” I spat at him. “you don't know what its like being treated like I was some stupid kid . I know I did wrong damn it Richie but I want the fu...” I started to cough again my hand went to my mouth. When I took it away there was blood on it. My eyes shot to Richie's who hit the button for the doctor. Within minutes my doctor was in the room and checking me out. Five seconds later I was moved to a gurney.

Richie frowned “where are you taking him ...”

“Operating room we have to cauterize the blood vessel he popped when we told him to stop talking. He popped another … he'll be fine..” with that I was taken out of the room.

 

As they wheeled me off to have surgery the dr walked beside me.

"Mr Bongivoi, let me ask you? why is it hard to do as you are asked? never mind... but let me tell you; this is not a pleasant op, but necessary. I will see you shortly in theatre."  with his parting words he went off to prep himself for surgery.

 

Me I just watched the lights as the rolled me down the corridors, swallowing and tasting blood. I still felt like a kid again being scolded for not being good..... why did they treat me like this.... I am a grown man for fuck sake...... my mind was buzzing thinking.... How the fuck am I gonna get outta here now? I had to get Richie on my side. I had to get him to see this place was no good for me.

 

My thoughts were interrupted as we pulled into theatre, "Ok, Jon,  I'm graham the anaesthetist.  I'm gonna put this line in your hand and it's gonna make you sleepy ok?,  I nodded.... "I need you in your mind to count with me from ten to zero ok, ten, nine, eight, seven............" that's the last thing I remember...when I opened my eye's I was back in my room and Richie was standing over me, that big silly grin over his face.

"Yo, welcome back bro, Doc tells me it all went well, but you cant talk for 3 weeks maybe longer. now you aint gonna burst another are you?"

 

I looked at Richie, and felt an anger burning inside, now he was treating me like a child... where was the solidarity and brotherhood.......  I swear the Dr's were out to stop me and now my buddy was joining forces with them. Why won't anyone listen to me,  they need to understand I don't handle hospitals and being told what to do. I just needed someone to give me a break let me go home to recover with all this shit and I would be fine.

 

Richie continued to smile his stupid smile and threw the board and pen onto my lap. "That is your form of communication from now on ok?"

I looked at him and nodded.  to weak to argue my throat was stinging and tasted of burnt blood, ok I can't tell you what that's like but believe me when I tell you its grosse. My mind was fighting but my body just weren't willing right now.

 

Richie carried on chatting to me, though I honest to god can't tell you what he was saying, I guess I was still groggy from the aesthetic; and I must have dozed off a few times in between.

When I opened my eye's again it was dark. Richie was still there sitting in the chair beside me, he had his eye's closed and seemed to sleeping soundly.

 

I needed a drink and I had been given a buzzer as it was next to my hand. I pressed the buzzer and waited. A few minutes later in walked a nurse. As she entered she woke Richie from his sleep.

 

"Good evening Mr Bongiovi, nice to see you are awake, is there anything I can get for you? are you comfortable?"

picking up my pen I wrote... "thirsty" the nurse looked and nodded and left. she returned a minute later with a pitcher of water and a glass and straw. she held the glass to my lips and I drew a few pulls before laying my head back on the pillows. as she moved around the bed she spoke.

 

"just so you know Mr Bongiovi, I am going to be assigned as your nurse for the next 48 hours following your pre op, together with my colleague Vanessa. My name is Samantha. I have been told you are a force to be handled at the best of times? is that true?"

before I could do anything Richie answered for me, 

 

" Take it easy nurse,.... he's a guy honey, he no we; don't do hospitals, but he will be fine for you, he will do everything he has to do and will be no trouble; I'll make sure of it." Richie  gave her his biggest cheesy Sambora smile.

 

I smiled to myself. He always had a way with the girls and this nurse was gonna be putty in his hands.

I watched her the whole time Richie spoke and she was melting with his every word.

maybe this nurse could be the help I needed to get me outta here too. Yes sir for my sanity and recovery I would do everything I had to, and work on my plan to get released  and back home as quick as I could.

 

 

Chapter 11

I laid there while my ma and Dot gently sobbed. What the fuck was going on?
"Pop, what's wrong? why is mom crying, what did she mean I have no idea what I've done?"
"Leave it for now Son."
"I want to know, what is going on?"
Dot looked up, her eye's red and puffy from crying. "Oh Jon, your taking steroids,.... it's.... shit....."
my ma spoke up," Dot not now, we have said to much already."
"But he needs to know ma?"
"not now."
Dot went quiet and went back to sobbing and looking at her hands. My Ma tore her gaze away from me. My pop just sat holding and rocking my mom and Richie had no idea what the fuck was going on. He was in the dark like me.

My mind was in chaos, what did they know that I didn't, and why wouldn't they tell me?. the silence in the room was deafening.
Richie spoke and broke the silence. "Who wants  coffee?"
immediately all voices were found and spoke, first my ma, "I'll go with you and help you Richie I don't know what I want yet."
my pa second "Yeah, I'll have one son, black 2 sugars," and lastly Dot," ill just have water please."
Richie took note and left with my mom.
I looked at Dot, and tried to take her hand but my arms were too weak, she looked at me. her eye's were full of pity.

"Dot, please tell me what's going on."

"I can't Jon, your ma said..."

"Dottie please, you are my wife, I am a grown man, tell me please? just everyone stop treating me like a god damn kid."

"The steroids Jon, you have done more damage than you realise. there are more things that your body is going to have to fight as the months go on. the Dr told me and the list is extensive and not exhaustive."
"like what?"

"like heart, liver issues, muscle damage, neurological problems.... those are a few that I can remember. Jonny I am scared for you. Your mom overheard me talking to the Dr and when I told her she said you didn't need to know as you had to fight this and recover first, but I am scared Jon, I honest to god have no idea what to do?"

"Dot, I will be fine, look if I have those other issues I will deal with them as they happen, I can't do anything right now can I, so what's the point getting upset about it eh? lets just see how things go ok"

"Yeah your right, but its a terrifying being told that, right?. I am normally together but I was not ready for that and ... well it shook me.... I know  I'm being stupid.... but it's because I love you..... forgive me."

As I went to answer dot, and reassure her that I loved her too; I was aware my mouth was dry again and I coughed, before I could ask for water a small trickle of blood ran down my mouth. I coughed again and more blood oozed out.  In shock my dad left his seat and the room and went in search of a Dr.

Dot wiped away the blood with a tissue. My eyes were stinging with the pain, my throat was burning and I could taste the blood as I swallowed.

My ma and Richie returned and saw Dottie with blood on the tissue. my ma went pale and asked;  "What's happened?"

"I dunno know ma, he was whispering and we were talking, he coughed then blood oozed from his mouth. Pa has gone to get a help."

ma sat down next to me and brushed my forehead, checking for a temperature like she used to when I was a kid, just as my pa returned with the Dr.

"Now Jon, your Dad tells me you have been bleeding from your mouth, mind if I take a look?."

The Dr moved in close to investigate, he looked into my mouth and down my throat, he made noises as if he was talking to himself.
 At last he pulled back and spoke.
"Jon, have you been talking?" I nodded in answer... "I see, well Jon you have burst a blood vessel in your throat with the straining trying to talk. if you keep straining your voice to talk it will happen again. I need you to drink plenty and just rest with no talking. can you do that?"

I felt as if I had been chastised again, just like when I was a kid. my frustration was building to an explosion.
I just had to get out of here. the Dr spoke again, "Well?" I just nodded.

Now was time to get Dot and Richie to help me get outta here, I was even more determined, at home I would recover quicker, just how?.

Chapter 10

It tore my heart out to see the tears coursing down my best friend's face.
I knew that he had pulled the line out to get D to back off from me but it was a stupid thing to do.
I hated seeing him bound to the bed like this it was like he was some psychotic patient when he wasn't.
He was sick and having him bound to the bed like this wasn't helping him.
The leather restraints looked horrid on his thin arms add in the bruises that were appearing on his arm from the dialysis was making me sick to my stomach.
I grabbed the towel we used to wipe his sweat off his face from the slight fever he had and wiped the tears gently from his cheeks.
I looked at the restraints again and then at my friends parents I didn't care what they thought right now.
I moved to the side and started to unbuckle them.

“Richard what are you doing...” Ma asked. She tried to stop me but I shrugged her off gently. I finally was able to get the one undone then moved to the other one on Pop's side. “Richard Stephan stop this minute...”

“No Ma.. I won't ...” I knew the doctor would be pissed but seeing the frustration on Jon's face and the tears tore my heart out. He had been good before not moving not taking anything out or ripping it out. He did it to protect me no matter how pissed off he was at me. I finally got the last buckle undone. Then rubbed the sore wrists they had been too tight to begin with. “Just relax Jonny they are off now...” I knew part of his problem was being bound there unable to move “Just promise me you won't rip out your lines again... “

He looked up at me in shock then down at his wrists which I was rubbing gently. “You removed them... cause I asked??!” His voice was barely a whisper of air.

I just nodded “I know you'd do the same for me man … no matter how pissed off you were at me.... don't take it the wrong way … I am still pissed at you for shit but I won't have them binding you to a bed like some kind of fuckin psych patient.”

 

I looked up at Richie;  blinking back the tears, despite all the fights, he really was my brother. Smiling I spoke,

"Thanks man, and for what its worth I'm sorry. I'm such a stubborn ass sometimes." 

"Sometimes...that's  questionable"  he smiled at me, but kept a firm grip on my hand, and gave it a  firm squeeze to say he understood. right there and then I knew we would be brothers for life, no matter what life threw at us.

 

"Jon, can I ask ya something?"

I spoke with a barely audible whisper, "Sure"

"Why,... I mean what was it that Doc said that made you carry on, when we had all taken you to a specialist and he had told you to rest? why ignore the advice? none of the guy's or me can understand that" 

 

Richie, never held back and that was a punch I wasn't ready for, but it was time to let on why I did what I did.

 

"Part of it was me being stubborn not wanting to believe what I had been told, and the other part was doc. He told me if I did not sing, you guy's wouldn't get paid, the crew wouldn't be paid and all the hard work we had achieved would be for nothing. he said we were not at the top yet and that to get there I had to stop behaving like a puppy and get a grip. then he brought in a Dr and he told me, using the steroids shots for the last leg of the tour would be fine. they would get me through. I know now he was wrong, but I -I -didn't want to let you all down..... you all gave me everything to run with my dream how could I not do my part......"

 

I turned my head away and closed my eye's, for the millionth time I was crying. I don't know if it was relief or seeing the pain on Richie's face.......

 

"Jon, you risked everything for us?"

I nodded..

 

"Man you have some big balls. I respect you for that too, but bro, us not being paid, aint something new, Doc aint paid us a penny this whole tour. Jon, why do you think the guy's and I were splitting at the end of this leg? none of us got anything out of what we done. we all carried on for you. but seeing you with Doc and blanking us on stage, well..... we all thought you wanted to go solo. it had turned into the Jon show. rehearsals were strained and you gave us all that stupid stink eye so many times, we felt like we were walking on egg shells and anything we did... you didn't approve. I wish we knew and talked sooner"

 

I listened taking in what Richie was saying, the cracks in the band were through me. my stupid stubborn pride and listening to a greedy assole called Doc.

"Richie", I coughed and winced at the pain, pop gave me a drink and I continued. "I am firing Doc"

"Think your too late bro, I already did."

"When?"

"The night you were brought in here. I guess I should have run it by you but I was so angry... I kinda flipped...."

"What he say.."

"He gave some bull shit about you being the only one employed and only you could fire him."

"did he..."

"ummm yeah."

"well I will tell him, and coming from me he will have to take it. if he don't like it he can sue my ass." I

 coughed again. the pain in my throat was like a thousands knives being stuck in all at the same time. Richie gave me a sip of water. I swallowed and continued.

 

 

"I want Bon Jovi to continue Richie......, we owe it to ourselves and our fans,......  but...... I don't wanna do it unless you are by my side...." I waited.....

"Sure man, I'm with ya all the way, but no Doc right? we make our own decisions, we call the shots?"

"yeah, just us, we can do it right?"

"too damn right we can. what about Tico, Dave and Alec?"

"I want Dave and Tico as much as I want you, ... but Alec... man he is really a diva and his drugs... too much for me. he has to go....I hope you agree?" for the third time in minutes I coughed again.... more water and I continued...

"so what ya say Rich?"

"Yeah, count me in, I'll run it by the guys later. As for Alec I think he made his decision when he left the hospital earlier tonight he had quit. his parting words were so touching... laters you muther fuckers...I won't miss his sorry ass... but his playing was good. we still need a bass player."

"Don't worry I have that covered."

"So here we go, Bon Jovi aint dead yet..eh."

"Nah its not, when it's time... I'll sleep"

Richie and I held each others gaze. Our brotherhood bond broke only by Dottie's voice.

 

"Richie, I owe you an apology. I am so sorry, I wrongly accused you of being to blame for Jon being in the condition he is in. I don't know what came over me. I guess I did not want to believe that my husband could be to blame for the way he is and for what he has to face....I don't know what else I can say, I really am sorry and ashamed for what I have done"

Richie hugged Dot, and reassured her it was fine and he understood. Right now it was a testing time for everyone. 

Dot  holding Richie now at arms length smiled, her tears filling her eye's with relief only. I laid looking at my family, I looked  at my ma, who I guess I take after the most, especially, with my hot temper. She looked sad.

"Don't be sad ma, I'm gonna be fine, honest..."

"Oh Jonny, you have no idea what you have done..."

I looked at my pa for answers; he shrugged his shoulders and comforted my mom. I looked at Dottie; who avoided my gaze.

"What is going on? someone please tell me?"

"Dot?"

"Ma?"

none of them would speak. "Richie?"

"Hey man, I have no idea, it's between your family I swear."

"Richie do you know something tell me if ya do please?"

"Man if I knew I'd tell ya, honestly I don't."

I looked back at my ma who was still being consoled by my pop. Dot sat looking down at her hands, and still avoided looking at me. I had a feeling in the pit of my stomach this was bad but could not put my finger on why.

 

 

Chapter 9

 

I was left on my own for quite a few minutes. I swallowed I needed a drink but unfortunately because I was doing slightly better I went from those rotten gauze restraints to ones that had to be buckled. I moved my arms but couldn't even lift them off the bed. I dropped my head back against the pillows my bangs falling into my eyes. I did it to get her attention and to get her to stop yelling at Richie. Yes I was pissed at him but I am a grown man and I can make my own decisions. It wasn't like he could have stopped me. It was my decision to let the damn doctor give me the shots. It was my decision to keep singing when I was told that I needed to take a break I was the one in charge of the band not Richie. What was he going to do sit on me and tell me that I couldn't sing? I sighed and turned my head to look down at the site in my arm. The place where I had ripped it out stung like hell an was bandaged, I was lucky they didn't stick it back in my neck. It had been uncomfortable as hell there.

I closed my eyes again my whole body felt exhausted like it was just drained of energy. Yet I had to find a way to talk my wife and the doctor into letting me go home. I couldn't stay here there was no way. I opened my eyes again when I heard someone come in. I winced as it was my pop and he looked pretty pissed off. Everyone thinks I get my temper from my ma but its kind of from both. My dad can get angry but his is less vocal than my moms. “Jon Francis what the hell were you thinking.... you were told to leave those lines alone... and what happens you get your restraints off and what do you do … you rip out the one line that is doing its best to get you better... why?”

I sighed “it was the only way to get D to stop yelling at Richie she blames him for what happened to me...” I whispered. It hurt to talk but I couldn't write it down with my wrists bound to the bed. I lifted my head blinking my eyes tiredly at my father. I rolled my eyes when he moved my hair from my face. I sank against the pillows licking my lips. “Thirsty pop...” He moved to the side pouring water into the cup then held the straw to my lips. I took a few pulls then turned my face away. “She got pissed...”

“Before you pulling your dialysis off?”

I sighed nodding. “Cause she asked me how much I weight....” I rolled my eyes. “It’s not that bad....” I tried to sit up further but couldn't as the restraints kept me pretty much where I was.

“Jon it is that bad  ...according to your doctor you are supposed to be at least one hundred fifty to sixty.” he sat on the stool by my bed.

Jon's Doctor escorted Dorothea out of the room. “Mrs Bongiovi I know you are angry and I understand you are worried but you cannot scream or yell in this hospital there is more than just your husband in here.” He folded his arms. “also I don't think yelling is going to get through to him.... your husband is in serious condition right now.... yes he's doing better but I foresee a long hospital stay for him. We finally were able to flush some of the drugs out of his system via the dialysis... but his kidneys are still a worry... also … he is looking at other problems ...”

Dorothea frowned “Like what?”

“Do you know what prolonged exposure to anabolic steroids can cause...” when she shook her head he sighed.

"Ok Mrs Bongiovi, I will explain, There are some things that Jon may experience due to his prolonged use of steroids, and please I am not saying he will have all these problems but you need to be aware of what Jon could be facing.  issues with his liver, heart, Musculoskeletal complications and injuries, aggression ,neurological problems, weight problems, the list is not exhaustive. Jon's body has been exposed to steroids for quite some time; and I am 99.9% sure he will endure one of these problems in the coming months if not years, Mrs Bongiovi, your husband has a very long road to recovery. You need to be committed for the long haul. Jon will need close monitoring. I am sorry its not better news "

Dot was shocked, and visibly started to shake, 

"Dr,  I am confused, I thought steroids were medical to help with problems? how can they be allowed to be prescribed with all these dangers, I don't understand?"

"Mrs Bongiovi, prescribed in minimal doses steroids do a brilliant job, they can treat infections on the chest etc., unfortunately when they are prescribed and administered long term that is when damage occurs."

"So, this Dr that prescribed Jon the steroids, he didn't stick to the guidelines?"

"I cannot comment on what that Dr did or did not do Mrs Bongiovi, but given your husband's current weight and health he has received high doses over very many months." touching Dots arm, "I'm sorry, now if you will excuse me." the Dr walked away and left Dot stood taking in what the Dr had told her. 

ma saw the Dr leave and walked over to talk to dot, seeing that she was so shaken.
"Dot, are you ok sweetheart?" 
"Erm, what yes, ma, I'm fine." 
"Well you don't look it, what did the Dr say?" 
"he, erm, told me about how very ill Jon is and then went on to tell me the damage that Jon is facing because of taking steroids." 
"Yes, I know but the dialysis is working, he is getting better, look..." 
"Ma, that is only the tip of the iceberg, Jon could have caused irreparable damage to his body, most of which we don't now about yet." 
"like what?"
"like, his heart, liver, mental issues, and other stuff I can't remember, the Dr said Jon may not have all of what he told me but he was sure there would be some other problems and that we had to monitor him very closely. Ma, I'm scared, for first time in my life, I feel out of control and there is nothing I can do...."    

"Dorothea Bongiovi, pull yourself together. ok, there could be more health problems in store for Jon, but getting upset now is no use to anyone. He does not have all those problems yet, lets face those problems if and when they happen. right now we need to get Jon through this. the Dr has warned us that's all and shared his medical knowledge. lets be thankful, now come on lets go back in there and see Jon. Lets show him our love and support" Dot nodded and together they came back into the room. 

Ma took a seat next to pop and Dot sat with Richie on the other side of me, each one seemed to take turns giving me fluids and stroking my head and moving my hair from my face. Don't get me wrong, I loved all my family but I was feeling suffocated, if only I could talk I would let everyone know. fact, I couldn't my throat and voice still hurt like hell and being in restraints I felt like a god damn prisoner not a patient. I had to get these removed. I whispered to my Pop, 

"Hey, Pop now you know why I ripped out my line, can't you explain to the Dr for me?"

"Son, what if you do it again?, I know you Jon Francis and you want outta here, I think the restraints are the best right now. I will talk to him in a day or two ok." 

For gods sake, why was everyone against me; I am a grown man trapped with people who are treating me like a fifteen year old boy. What the fuck did I have to do to be treated with respect. I know pulling out the line was stupid but how else could I stop Dot from her blow up at Richie. This sucked I turned my head away from them all and looked up to the ceiling closed my eyes and let the tears fall totally out of frustration.

CHAPTER 8

I watched as Jon laid in the bed Dorothea laying it on the line with him. He either had to tell her the truth or she wasn't doing anything for him. I had told her as much as I could knowing he would be pissed but this was his wife. She deserved to know what the hell had happened on this tour. Hell she could tell just how bad this tour was just by looking at her husband. Jon was so thin you could see his cheekbones and his hands were thinner than I had ever seen them. The usual blue eyes of my best friend were faded and dark. He could barely talk and when he did you could see the pain in his face.

 

His voice was soft and tinged with pain. “Richie told you everything D.. I swear … I ate I just was too tired to eat a lot and ...” He swallowed I leaned over to give him a drink of water though he glared at me. He sighed “Doc hired a doctor to take care of me … okay … he was the one that injected me with the shit to keep me going I thought it was helping baby I swear..” He whispered.

 

"well it sure in the fuck didn't help you Jon … and I am not taking you out of here until the Doctor tells you that you are out of the woods... Jon how much do you weight...” She asked him. She held onto the hand by her side running her had over it her eyes watching his face. He looked over at me giving me that stupid stink eye as if he was telling me not to tell her. I shrugged at him she had asked him not me. “Jon I asked you a question...”

 

I looked at Dot I really didn't want to have this discussion with her hell my throat hurt like hell right now just whispering. When Richie dropped something in my lap. A pen and a piece of paper sat there. I sighed knowing I couldn’t get out of it now by claiming my throat hurt. I looked at her then at the paper she gave me that look that you just knew you either put up or shut up. I glared at Richie one more time then wrote the number on the pad handing it to her. It took me so freaking long to even write that stupid fuckin number. I could see her tense up when she read it. I knew that even with me in the bed she was going to blow.

 

“how the FUCK DID this happen Jon Francis!” she voice low and angry. “one hundred twenty five what the fuck were you thinking or were you not thinking … Jesus Chris Jon...” She shot to her feet. “are you TRYIN to fuckin kill yourself?” I winced with every word out of her mouth. She was beyond angry with me right now.

“D .. you need to calm down...” Richie's voice cut her tirade off and for once I was thankful he was there. 



Dot turned to look at Richie, the anger was very evident, she had passed the point of reasoning, "don't tell me what to do Richie Sambora, call yourself a friend, you let this happen to Jon, how could you stand by and watch him self destruct? what fucking planet do you live on?" 



Richie stood open mouthed, the last thing he expected was to be blamed for my condition. I tried to grab Dots attention but she was not looking and in full flow, I had to get her to stop shouting, I had to get her to see sense and stop blaming everyone else. So; I did what I had to do to get her attention; I pulled out my dialysis line, within seconds the alarms were ringing and Dr's and nurses arrived from everywhere. Dot immediately stopped screaming at Richie and turned back to face me.



"Jon what the fuck? you did that on purpose didn't you?" I weakly nodded my head, tears springing into my eye's, two reason's I hated seeing the stress and pain I had caused to my wife and best buddy, but also cos it hurt like fuck and I really regretted doing it. it was not a wise move as I learned. Once the line was put back in the Dr came over to talk to me.



"Mr Bongiovi, what did we tell you? huh, if you pulled out anymore lines we would put you back in restraints," turning away from me he spoke to the nurse.

"Nurse Hannah please get the wrist restraints, attach them to Mr Bongiovi, and more water too his pitcher is nearly dry". He then turned back to me.



"Mr Bongiovi we are not here to make you suffer; we are here to make you well, please understand that, I cannot have my staff running around in and out of your room only looking after just you, we have other seriously ill patients on this ward also requiring our attention. as for the restraints; you have no-one else to blame but yourself. think on what I have said Mr Bongiovi." finishing his last sentence he turned away from me and took D by the arm and ushered her out into the reception area to talk with her.



I laid there looking at the ceiling just trying to figure out how the hell I could make D and the Dr's understand and that all I wanted was to get out of this hell hole.


I looked across to Richie who came and sat beside me.
"Yo Jon, man that was stupid eh?, what did you do that for?"
I whispered, "to stop D shouting at you. Why did you tell her Richie, you knew she would react like this."



"Because you are seriously ill bud and Dottie is your wife, she needed to know. Jon, I swear man I did not tell her to hurt you, but she has a right to know. Jon the rule what's in the band stays in the band is ok regarding the band, but you could have died bud and I aint having that on my conscience."



I listened as Richie explained his reasons and deep down I knew he was right, but I still felt I had been betrayed. I could not listen to him anymore. I shut my eye's hoping he would take the hint and shut the fuck up. He did eventually. and rose and left the room and went across to Dot and my pop.  



So; I was alone again, and held ridged in bed going no where. I had no choice but to except my fate whatever it held, one thing was certain, I had to calm my wife down and talk reason to the Dr's if I wanted to get outta here, yes sir I was alone in my quest to leave the hospital, but I was a fighter and I would get my own way one way or another and at whatever the cost.



 

 

Chapter 7

 

 

I finally got a hold of Dot the next morning and she rushed to Jon's side. His treatments were doing him a world of good the paleness of his face had started to recede and they were able to move the site to his arm. It was better as when it was in his neck there was always a chance of it being jarred or moved. It was hard seeing him going through this but we all knew it was something that had to be done.

She royally let me have it when she got there. Tearing into me for not contacting her the minute Jon was rushed here. No amount of telling her I tried would dissuade her. She had run into Alec before and he had told her some cop and bullshit story. Now she was in the room with Jon after his latest results he had been moved down to critical care instead of the ICU. He was still heavily monitored but was in his own room.

Once the dialysis started to work and he started to lose the paleness in his skin they started to only do it every four hours which was good as it let him sleep for some reason when they did it he kept watching it. He was also started on a liquid diet of broth and tea, nothing heavy and much to his annoyance someone even had to help him with that. Once they moved him to his own room the restraints were removed from his wrists. However, he was warned if he tried to remove anything they would be put back on by Pop shocking both me and Jon. Because Jon was now in his own room though heavily monitored we all were allowed to stay in the room with him. I sat on one side of the bed while Dot stayed on the other side. She fed him his liquid diet as he was far to weak to do it on his own.

He was finally able to talk slightly though it was only a mere whisper though it hurt and we told him not to do it. He was still fighting to leave the hospital I knew he hated it there knew he wanted to get the hell out. I hoped he didn't talk Dot into helping him leave. We could only wait and see.

 

"What took you so long to come see me Dot?, I feel like I have been here forever?"

"No one told me, then I ran into Alex and he told me you were here, Soon as I heard I came."

"Will you help me?"

"Help you with what?"

"To get outta here?" you can look after me right? at home?"

"It goes without saying Jon, you are my husband and of course I will look after you, but I am not taking you outta here until the Dr say's so."

"Please Dot, this is not doing me any good, I need to be at home with you."

 

I had to try, I hated hospitals and I hated being sick, everything they were doing here; we could do at home. I had to keep trying I had to get back home and outta this awful place, it made me feel more sick by being here, on top of, they treated me like a god damn kid.

 

"Stop Jon, I can't, you could still die, you are still seriously ill, I can't believe how much weight you have lost, babe you are skin and bone? just what the hell went on while you were touring?"

"Dot, I'm ok honest, look if you take me home I promise I will be fine, a few days and I'll be back to normal, I promise I'll start eating again, just take me home."

"What the hell do you mean you will start eating again?, Jon are you going to tell me what went on or do I have to go find out through the band?"

"it's a phrase, nothing more, of course I ate, but bouncing around on stage and stuff, sweating, its natural to drop a few pounds, I'm ok"

 

Out the corner of my eye I saw Richie look up to the ceiling and shake his head, unfortunately so did Dot. this did not bode well...

Dot turned away from me and spoke directly to Richie, I tried to attract his attention and shake my head, but he either saw me and ignored me or did not see. Either way he told Dot the truth and I knew I was screwed. My only saving grace was that Dot could not explode at me in hospital, but I knew the wrath would flow when I was well.... fuck... why did Richie have to tell her... he knows my feelings on talking about the band with outsiders, ok, I know Dot is my wife, but she aint part of the band and Richie had really pissed me off. If only I could talk normal, but fact was my voice did not exist beyond a whisper and it hurt like fuck.

Dot turned back to face me once she had heard the truth, although Richie left out something's they were minor, he confirmed I ate, but smaller amounts and that my weight loss was how I explained, the thing I never wanted dot to know about Richie told her... the steroids and ignoring Dr's orders, thank god he never told her about Doc McGhee. Finally with a fire in her eye's she spoke to me, her voice a low deep whisper to let me know how angry she was.

"Jon, has Richie told me everything?"

"I nodded.

"I don't believe you Jon, I know there is more, I can sense that Richie is holding back protecting you? Well I want to know Jon, and I tell you if you want to get home you better start spilling and telling buddy, or you can rot in this hospital bed. now shall we start again, what the fuck happened on this tour Jon?, and no bullshit I want to know all of it."

 

Shit, thanks Richie, nice one, how would I tell Dot, I tired reasoning, but it fell on cold ears and heart, yes sir, when Dot made up her mind she was ten fold more stubborn than I would ever be. there was nothing for it, if I wanted Dot to get me outta here I had to tell her the truth.