Chapter 38

Richie stayed with me through the whole session till lunch, as I was taken back to my room by Terri, and she left to go fetch my lunch he sat on the day chair. His head looking into his hands, when he looked up he had tears in his eye's.
"What's up?"
"You man,?"
"What?, "
"You are amazing, your fight, will, determination, you amaze me Jon. I watched you, hell no, I've  been with you through this maze to hell; Man most men would have just said enough and curled up and died, but no not you; through everything, you have kept the will, and your spirit alive and carried on, man, I just gotta tell ya, I am real proud of you."

I sat there listening, for once in my life I was totally speechless.
I thought about what he had said, and the honest to god truth was, Richie had helped me through all of this, and when we were on tour.

He was the one that had challenged me, Doc and Manning when they were pumping me with the steroids, only he had the balls to tell me and them; what he thought, sure the guy's in the band added in their voices too, but none had the conviction to stand their ground as Rich did.

Truth be known, Richie was the reason I had this spirit and fight, he gave me the reason, the strength and the will to get through all of this; thing is, I had only just realised it too. my reply was a mumbled "thanks man."

Looking out of the window it was a beautiful sunny day, and I longed to take some fresh air, it was the perfect opportunity to change the subject too and lighten the mood.

"Hey, fancy taking me out for some fresh air?"
"Sure, but what about your lunch?"
"I'm not that hungry, but with a day this gorgeous I need to suck some air into these stale old lungs...C'mon live a little?" I gave Rich the famous Bongiovi smile.
"Ok, but when Terri gets back with ya lunch, you can eat it outside ok?"
"Ok."

Minutes later Terri walked through the door, carrying my lunch in a bowl. " So what gives guy's, what's with the smiles?, I feel as though I have walked in on something."
"Yeah kinda, Jon here wants his lunch outside on the bench, you ok with that if I take him?"
"Sure, no reason why not, but make sure he eats all his lunch, the afternoon session is gonna be even harder, Deal?"
"Deal"
"Er, Terri, you can talk to me direct ya know, I am here, I am not a kid." I was feeling pretty pissed, why was everyone else making decisions about what I could and could not do, why couldn't they just  speak to me, instead of over me.

Terri looked at me, I shook her with my outburst, "I'm sorry Jon, but I was told by your Dr to use every person close to you, to make you stay on the line.
"What Dr would that be Terri?"
there was danger in my voice, and she replied with a trembling voice "Dr-Dr Kohn"
"And how the fuck does Dr Kohn know what I will and will not do, having never met me prior to me being admitted..." My temper was rising the angrier I got.
Terri straightened her back, and stood straight, then walked over and put my lunch on the trolley tray before me, and spoke.
"Maybe that question should be directed to Dr Kohn, and not to me, I carry out orders. my objective is to get you well and that is what I am trying to do. I will leave and let you have your lunch I will be back here at 1.30pm to take you for your afternoon session." as she finished her sentence, she spun on her heels and left the room.
"The fucking...."
"Jon, easy bud, it's as much my fault as it was terri's, ease up a little eh."
"Ease up?, Rich for months all I have been told is do this, do that, don't do this, don't do that, I've had enough... I am 28 years of fucking age Rich, I can make my own decisions..."
before I knew it Rich had responded and for the second time today left me speechless...
"Can you? really?, ummm I beg to differ Jon, your arrogance and stupidity put you in hospital in the first place. I aint one to rake over the past, but you abused your body for months, despite us all begging ya to stop?, steroids and you are to blame for this nightmare Jon, not the Dr's, and truth time bud, you are a real fucking pain in the ass at times, so my last piece of advice for you, just keep your fucking opinions to yourself, crack on and shut the fuck up, got it?"
in silence I nodded at Rich as he put my soup and bread roll on my knee and pushed me outside as I had wanted.

Walking down the hallway, I spoke and broke the building tension between Rich and I. "I'm sorry Rich, your right, it's just I hate being treated like a child, and this whole thing is really getting to me."
"no shit, I would never have guessed," his response was light-hearted, with a serious tone added,
"But you really need to apologise to Terri"
"Yeah, I know and I will"
"Soon as we get back right?"
"Yes pop,"
He punched my playfully on my arm. "Alrighty then. "so where do you wanna park up?" We were outside at last and the sun was warm on my face, I took in the air filling my lungs and pointed to a bench by a sycamore tree, it was the perfect spot.
He pushed me forward and stopped where I asked, then he sat down next to me, while I ate the now luke warm chunky vegetable soup and roll.

With all the tension broke between us, we sat in silence and listened to mother nature and the birds tweeting and singing, and the noise that could just be heard from the road with the traffic going by,  it was peaceful and really serene and beautiful, I'd happily have stayed there for the afternoon but with my lunch finished it was time to head back inside and start the afternoon run.

Back in my room Terri re entered, "Lunch done?"
"Done," I raised my bowl and demonstrated it was empty again.  as she went to take the bowl I caught her wrist, she looked down at me. "Terri, I am sorry for earlier, forgive me?"
she smiled at me, "Sure, and I am sorry too, fresh start for us both?"  "Yeah fresh start."
She left with the bowl then returned straight after, "So ready and fighting for the next round Jon?"
"Yeah, bring it on..." as we entered the room, I took in the apparatus in the room, the bars was where we had been in the morning , this time Terri took me over to the bars with steps. "Omg, seriously?"
I looked back at her.
"Yep seriously, I told you this afternoon would be tough," then she added, "But f anyone can do it, you can..."
Rich was at my side still, "C'mon bro, be strong, I'm with ya."
Filling my lungs with air, I psyched myself ready for the afternoon onslaught.