Chapter 38

Richie stayed with me through the whole session till lunch, as I was taken back to my room by Terri, and she left to go fetch my lunch he sat on the day chair. His head looking into his hands, when he looked up he had tears in his eye's.
"What's up?"
"You man,?"
"What?, "
"You are amazing, your fight, will, determination, you amaze me Jon. I watched you, hell no, I've  been with you through this maze to hell; Man most men would have just said enough and curled up and died, but no not you; through everything, you have kept the will, and your spirit alive and carried on, man, I just gotta tell ya, I am real proud of you."

I sat there listening, for once in my life I was totally speechless.
I thought about what he had said, and the honest to god truth was, Richie had helped me through all of this, and when we were on tour.

He was the one that had challenged me, Doc and Manning when they were pumping me with the steroids, only he had the balls to tell me and them; what he thought, sure the guy's in the band added in their voices too, but none had the conviction to stand their ground as Rich did.

Truth be known, Richie was the reason I had this spirit and fight, he gave me the reason, the strength and the will to get through all of this; thing is, I had only just realised it too. my reply was a mumbled "thanks man."

Looking out of the window it was a beautiful sunny day, and I longed to take some fresh air, it was the perfect opportunity to change the subject too and lighten the mood.

"Hey, fancy taking me out for some fresh air?"
"Sure, but what about your lunch?"
"I'm not that hungry, but with a day this gorgeous I need to suck some air into these stale old lungs...C'mon live a little?" I gave Rich the famous Bongiovi smile.
"Ok, but when Terri gets back with ya lunch, you can eat it outside ok?"
"Ok."

Minutes later Terri walked through the door, carrying my lunch in a bowl. " So what gives guy's, what's with the smiles?, I feel as though I have walked in on something."
"Yeah kinda, Jon here wants his lunch outside on the bench, you ok with that if I take him?"
"Sure, no reason why not, but make sure he eats all his lunch, the afternoon session is gonna be even harder, Deal?"
"Deal"
"Er, Terri, you can talk to me direct ya know, I am here, I am not a kid." I was feeling pretty pissed, why was everyone else making decisions about what I could and could not do, why couldn't they just  speak to me, instead of over me.

Terri looked at me, I shook her with my outburst, "I'm sorry Jon, but I was told by your Dr to use every person close to you, to make you stay on the line.
"What Dr would that be Terri?"
there was danger in my voice, and she replied with a trembling voice "Dr-Dr Kohn"
"And how the fuck does Dr Kohn know what I will and will not do, having never met me prior to me being admitted..." My temper was rising the angrier I got.
Terri straightened her back, and stood straight, then walked over and put my lunch on the trolley tray before me, and spoke.
"Maybe that question should be directed to Dr Kohn, and not to me, I carry out orders. my objective is to get you well and that is what I am trying to do. I will leave and let you have your lunch I will be back here at 1.30pm to take you for your afternoon session." as she finished her sentence, she spun on her heels and left the room.
"The fucking...."
"Jon, easy bud, it's as much my fault as it was terri's, ease up a little eh."
"Ease up?, Rich for months all I have been told is do this, do that, don't do this, don't do that, I've had enough... I am 28 years of fucking age Rich, I can make my own decisions..."
before I knew it Rich had responded and for the second time today left me speechless...
"Can you? really?, ummm I beg to differ Jon, your arrogance and stupidity put you in hospital in the first place. I aint one to rake over the past, but you abused your body for months, despite us all begging ya to stop?, steroids and you are to blame for this nightmare Jon, not the Dr's, and truth time bud, you are a real fucking pain in the ass at times, so my last piece of advice for you, just keep your fucking opinions to yourself, crack on and shut the fuck up, got it?"
in silence I nodded at Rich as he put my soup and bread roll on my knee and pushed me outside as I had wanted.

Walking down the hallway, I spoke and broke the building tension between Rich and I. "I'm sorry Rich, your right, it's just I hate being treated like a child, and this whole thing is really getting to me."
"no shit, I would never have guessed," his response was light-hearted, with a serious tone added,
"But you really need to apologise to Terri"
"Yeah, I know and I will"
"Soon as we get back right?"
"Yes pop,"
He punched my playfully on my arm. "Alrighty then. "so where do you wanna park up?" We were outside at last and the sun was warm on my face, I took in the air filling my lungs and pointed to a bench by a sycamore tree, it was the perfect spot.
He pushed me forward and stopped where I asked, then he sat down next to me, while I ate the now luke warm chunky vegetable soup and roll.

With all the tension broke between us, we sat in silence and listened to mother nature and the birds tweeting and singing, and the noise that could just be heard from the road with the traffic going by,  it was peaceful and really serene and beautiful, I'd happily have stayed there for the afternoon but with my lunch finished it was time to head back inside and start the afternoon run.

Back in my room Terri re entered, "Lunch done?"
"Done," I raised my bowl and demonstrated it was empty again.  as she went to take the bowl I caught her wrist, she looked down at me. "Terri, I am sorry for earlier, forgive me?"
she smiled at me, "Sure, and I am sorry too, fresh start for us both?"  "Yeah fresh start."
She left with the bowl then returned straight after, "So ready and fighting for the next round Jon?"
"Yeah, bring it on..." as we entered the room, I took in the apparatus in the room, the bars was where we had been in the morning , this time Terri took me over to the bars with steps. "Omg, seriously?"
I looked back at her.
"Yep seriously, I told you this afternoon would be tough," then she added, "But f anyone can do it, you can..."
Rich was at my side still, "C'mon bro, be strong, I'm with ya."
Filling my lungs with air, I psyched myself ready for the afternoon onslaught.

Chapter 37

The guy who helped me into the van was nice the tag on his shirt stating his name was Thomas. My mom and dad had been there earlier but now it was just me heading to the centre. Dorothea was going to drive down there to meet me. Almost an hour later we were pulling into a large driveway looking out the window I was shocked to see that it was not what I thought. I had expected a tall building looking like a hospital but it was anything but. There was gardens and benches around outside patients siting with their families. “maybe this place wasn't going to be as bad as I thought. I was taken to my room granted it still looked like a hospital room there but not too bad. I had a large picture window that looked out on the grounds, D came into the room and started to put my things away. “it will be okay Jon.. we will get through this … it won't be so bad … this place is one of the best out there the sooner you get back on your feet the sooner you can come home..” She kissed my cheek.

“I know D and I promised Richie and my parents I would do whatever the doctors here say to do...” I let the nurse help me into the chair by the bed. She introduced herself as Terry and would be my day nurse. The introductions were done and I met my Doctor. Doctor Kohn was a strict female doctor. She had my plan set out and I was ready to start that day but was told to get used to the place first and the next day would start the hell that was physical therapy, and I had no idea why but, I was looking forward to it.

 

Next morning I was woken by my day nurse, she brought with her a bowl of oatmeal for breakfast and some OJ, as she placed the breakfast on my trolley she spoke,

"Good Morning Jon, did you sleep well?"

"Yeah, I guess," I shifted in the bed and pushed myself so I was sitting up right.

"What's that?"

"Is this a trick question?" she smiled at me as she asked,

"No, I mean I really don't like oatmeal.... Do I really have to eat that?" I screwed my nose up as I asked the question. the oatmeal sat there looking the most uninviting breakfast I had ever seen, you would get given better in jail.

"Yes you do, and its because you have a lot of hard work ahead of you today, Oatmeal has the right amount of vitamins and its a carb which means it will release sugars into your blood evenly throughout the morning, ...... " she looked at me and laughed as she continued.... "and its Docs orders."

I smiled back, my lips and nose still curled at the thought of having to digest the gloop in front of me.

"Hey, I can add some syrup if that helps to make it sweeter for you?"

I nodded anything would be better than what I was looking at.  

Terri disappeared to go get the syrup, I picked up the OJ and took a sip, the sweet bitterness was surprisingly refreshing to taste, I took another sip.

Terri returned with the oatmeal, it was still hot and as she placed it in front of me she placed her hands on her hips and stood watching.

"What? your gonna stand and watch over me?"

"Eh huh, Dr's orders,"

"Your kidding me right?"

"No, I saw your face jon, we are serious, we want to get you back on your feet and to do that you are gonna have to do and eat things that you don't normally, but its all for a good reason, to get you home."

"I get it Terri, I do, true I aint a fan of Oatmeal, but I promise you I will eat it, please give me the trust, I won't let you down?...."

I studied her face, and she studied mine.

"Ok, I'll give you half an hour ok?"

"I nodded back at her and took the spoon in my hand and took my first mouthful of the oatmeal breakfast. Surprisingly it slid down past my feeding tube easily and was not as bad to taste as I thought.

I was mid way through when a familiar voice spoke, " so spent my $100 bucks yet?"

I looked up and saw Richie in the doorway.

"Hey Rich,... no I aint been anywhere yet.... but I will really enjoy it when I do."

"He smiled at me as he came over and sat on the chair next to the bed.

"What's that?"

"Oatmeal...it's not that bad really...."

"not for me, but hey, if its good, nice to see you eating."

"It's not my choice," I put on an exaggerated voice, "It's Dr's orders..." just as Terri came back into the room with my sweat pants and tee, sneakers and socks....

"You poking fun at me Jon?" she asked with tease in her voice,

I went red, and mumbled my reply, "Er no, course not," quickly I introduced Richie .... "Terri this is Richie, my...."

"Hey, yeah no need for introductions I know who you are," she extended her hand and greeted Richie. He smiled back and said the right things you say when meeting someone too, "nice to meet ya Terri. So you looking after my man here?"

"Yeah, I'm his day carer, or nurse, what ever you wanna call me."

"Great, well take it easy on him for a while ok, he has had a few real tough months..."

"That's the last thing we are gonna do, he's here to get mobile and get back on his feet, this is the last stop saloon and going easy on our guy's aint gonna get us anywhere..."

Terri did not hold back and made it clear what was her job and that she was good at what she did and Richie was not gonna persuade her otherwise.  

"Alright, jeez I was only asking..."

"That's fine, but if ya wanna help your man here, then get with the programme..." she turned to face me, " all done Jon?"

"I nodded my head and smiled then held up the bowl see all gone.."

"Terri relaxed a little, well done, good start, right I'll clear these away then be back to help you shower and dress, Richie do you wanna hang around for his first session?"

nervously he answered, "Yeah if that's ok?"

"Sure, follow me I'll take you to the day room until Jon is ready to go to rehab room 1, then i'll fetch you."

Richie raised his hand, "see ya in a few bro..."

I smiled and raised mine back, "That's you will Rich, that you will..." I had focused my mind and had settled on doing whatever it was I needed to do to get well as fast as possible and walk out of this place, to get back to my family, and back to Bon Jovi.....

 

 

Chapter 36

Apr 9 at 7:11 PM

She took me back to my room where I set by the window moving my legs up and down in exercises that the physical therapist had told me to do. It would help strengthen my leg muscles so I could take more weight right now they only worked with me on the double bars I hoped to move to a walker soon. It might sound funny a twenty eight year old man looking forward to using a walker but the closer it got to the walker closer to crutches and closer to walking on my own. Then dancing around the stage again. I would get frustrated when they would have me only walk one or two steps and then bring me back even though I was exhausted I wanted to do more but they kept telling me if I did I could hurt myself. I just wanted to get this done get back on my feet and go home. I looked over as my tray was brought in the other problem the doctor was having with me is I had no appetite Doctor Markus said that was something that was normal. The meds that I had to take to keep from rejecting my kidney killed my appetite they were working on it but it still made it hard for me to eat or have any interest in food they brought in. Add in the food was downright disgusting looking. My mom offered to bring some of her homemade cooking in but Doctor Markus told her that it had to wait as since I had gone from eating so little while on tour and eating what they had in here whatever she made was just too rich for my stomach. Doctor Markus hadn't removed the feeding tube I had gotten when I had been at deaths door so it helped a bit not that I liked it that much. It was uncomfortable at points but it filled its purpose. I asked him a couple times when it would be removed he told me once I started eating better and I gained at least twenty five pounds. Which brought me back to forcing myself to eat what was on my tray that was brought in. Thankfully today was soup and sandwiches with some chips. After I finished my lunch I went back to working on the notepad. I had almost a full pad of songs already wrote down.

The other thing that had been on my mind was the trial though my parents and Richie didn't think I knew too much about it I did. Granted I had been not in the best of health when it all came about with the arrests but still I knew that Richie would probably have to testify I was assured by my pop I wouldn't as all the signed papers put tell to that. That and I was not well enough to be dealing with the stress as my doctor put it. I went back to writing. ….

A week later the nurses were all having a small farewell party for me. I was to be going to the Ortho Center which was about forty minutes away from my home. D had came to see me and helped me get ready to go. She had been there by my side the whole time quite and assuring. I loved my wife with all my heart and I had put her through hell this year I promised her as they got me ready to go that I would work hard to get back on my feet. Her hand brushing through my new hair cut. I had asked my pop to cut my hair for me as being in the hospital my hair gotten longer than I had ever thought. It was now shorter than it had been with bangs over my eyes and just a but above the collar of my shirt. It was a lot easier to take care of that was for sure. Dressed in blue jeans and a sweatshirt with keds on my feet setting in a wheelchair waiting for me ride to get there. The Center was sending a van to get me as it was just policy. I had thought I would be going via my parents or someone but nope. I took a deep breath as it arrived ready to start on the next step of getting myself on my feet.

Chaper 35

It had taken Richie fourteen days to recover from his blood poisoning, my body was getting better and the day release trips to rehab were going well, I could at least now hold my own body weight. walking, well one step at a time as they say.
Dr Markus gave me the ok to go down to see rich as he was leaving hospital again today, his op site had now practically healed over so should not cause him any problems, but like with everything he had to take it easy. In my hands was the pad Rich had bought for me, now half full with songs I had wrote, Rich had agreed to go and stay again with my mom and dad, but told them they had to let him do his own thing and not fuss over him so much. Ma struggled to follow the rules but pop made her agree, how? he simply pointed out he was a grown man and did not need smothering.

so here we are present time, and I am about to enter my best buds room and say good bye to him, a week from today I was being moved to the intensive rehab clinic 40 minutes away from home, and I really was not looking forward to it, but understood if I wanted out of the place it was the only way, so biting my tongue I agreed to do whatever Dr Markus asked of me, and Richie too. We had big plans for Bon Jovi, without the guys in the band would be like extracting all the air from my lungs, or well I might as well be dead.

Lainey pushed me through the door and across to Richie who was sat in his day chair, his back to me, looking out across at the lawns and gardens in the hospital grounds, he was waiting on a cab to call and collect him. He insisted he would make his own way to my ma and pa's house, or it was no deal.
"hey you, ready to go?"
he turned his head to look at me and smiled before he spoke,
"Hell yeah, man your looking well," he got up from his chair and came over and gave me a big hug.
"Man you seriously need to get a hair cut, you resemble a sheep dog,"
I looked at the ends of my long mane, it was not looking good, and honestly it was the last thing that I had thought of until Richie mentioned it, now he had I would ask my pop to cut it next time he was in visiting.
"Yeah, I guess it does look bad, I'll get it sorted, maybe go short what ya say to that sambora?"
"Yeah, like you'll give up your mane?, believe it when I see it man"
"ok, bets on, how much?"
"you serious?"
"Sure, how much"
"$100 bucks"
"your on, so what time ya leaving......" I held my head down trying to hold back the tears, "I'm gonna miss ya man"
" soon as the cab arrives, driver knows he has to call to reception to get me."
" you crying?"
I wiped my face and tried to laugh it off, but Rich knew me too well, he lifted my chin,
"Don't be sad bro, I'll be back to visit, I've got some songs to write too, you are half a pad ahead of me, just keep the faith, ok?"
through my falling tears I managed a smile, but no one knew how lonely it was day in day out, for the last seven day's Rich had brought meaning back into my life and existence, it reminded me of our younger days meeting in the basement of his mom's home, and us jamming and fooling around together, now what I was used to was being taken away again.

Lainey knocked on his door, "Richie, cab is here for you."
he looked at her and smiled, "Thanks' tell him I'll be there in a minute,"
Lainey agreed and went to tell the driver to wait.
"So, this is me,"
"Yep, and next time you visit, your gonna see a new me too."
"I better I've got $100 bucks riding on it.... " he laughed a deep belly laugh, something I had not heard in forever, the problems of the last tour were a million years ago. We had re bonded as friends, but now more as brothers. I guess what happened had to happen for us to reach this point in time. I know it's corny but, I was happy to be where we were.
"So, give me a day then your next coming, give me the chance to at least win something?"
"No way Bongiovi, why should I make it easy for you?, you said next time I see you... and i'm holding you to it..."
"Hey no fair, you know I need my pop to do it?"
"Yeah, and he's no doubt coming in with your ma sometime today?"
"I guess, hey, you going to my folks place right?"
"Oh no, I'm not helping ya win"
"but you don't know what I am gonna ask yet?"
"Yeah I do, you want me to ask your pop to bring his comb and scissors?, well forget it Giovi not happening...man you are so sneaky..."
the banter we shared was good, and I loved it. reluctantly I ended it so as to let him get moving.
"ok, well take care of you ok?, and get writing, you have a lot of catching up to do."
He reached down again and for the last time gave me a hug. pulling back he asked,
"You good then?"
"I'm good, now go"
he collected his bag from the bed, and smiled at me as he left the room, I pushed myself over to the door and watched him get his discharge papers from the desk for the second time, the cab driver took his bag and he waved as he walked across to the elevator. I sat watching until the elevator doors closed. then talking to myself I said. " take care bro, and hurry back to see me"

I sat thinking to myself lost in thought when Lainey arrived to take me back to my room.
"You ok?"
"yeah I'm fine, thanks,"
"So, you thought about what you want for your lunch?"
"Food?, no why?"
"Cause, you wanna get outta here now don't ya, especially as Rich is gone."
"Well yeah course I do."
"Well start showing an interest in food, and start working harder Jon, then you will be home and back to living a normal life in no time, and for the record I aint telling ya what to do, just giving ya some friendly advice. You and Richie amaze me, you know that?"
"Thank for the tip, and in what way do we amaze you?"
"Your friendship, in all my years I have never seen to men as close as you two, it really is like you are blood brothers.... it's incredible..."
I smiled to myself, Lainey was right, the relationship we shared was incredible and I thanked god for being given the second chance to keep building on it.