Chapter 32

Settled at Ma and Pa's home, they looked after me without a doubt, but I could not move without one or the other checking up on me, I had been with them ten days and it felt like 10 months. When I woke this morning I was determined I was gonna get out of the house and get some fresh air alone, even if it killed me. I showered then dressed after checking my scar; it was getting better and so was the pain, you know when the Dr's ask you on a scale of one to ten,  with ten being the worst, how the pain is? well, my pain was 0.1, un countable, to where it was two weeks ago.

 

All dressed I checked my reflection in the mirror, satisfied I looked ok I headed down stairs to grab a coffee and something to eat, and to say good morning to my hosts.

As I walked down the stairs, breakfast smells reached my senses and I could not help breathing in the delicious smell of the cooking bacon, turning the corner I walked into the kitchen and saw Ma stood at the stove, she did not see me, so I spoke first, "morning Ma"
"Oh, morning Richie, how are you feeling today?"
"I'm good thanks, that sure smells good ma"
"Sit, its nearly ready."
I did as commanded and a plate of bacon, and eggs  was put before me, with a cup of coffee.
"Ma, you're the best"
She smiled
"I enjoy looking after you."
Pa walked into the kitchen having been out in the yard pegging ma's washing on the clothes line for her, watching them interact they were each others ying and yang, and really fit each other comfortably like a pair of worn gloves. Pa washed his hands and sat at the table, and ma placed his breakfast in front on him.
"Good morning son, sleep well?"
"Morning Pa, yeah as always"
"How ya feeling?"

Inside I wanted to scream, our conversations were not interesting at all, but the god damn questions were intense. and always involved how I was feeling,  I held back and just smiled and replied.
"I'm good, thanks, you?"

"Oh, fair I'd say, but with ma's great breakfast I'll be more than good." he winked at ma as he spoke the last word. Ma smiled at him and turned back to continue with her own breakfast.

"So ma and me were thinking, how about a trip to the beach today, a lil bit of sunshine to restore your ol bones, whadda ya say?"

I could feel my internal radar wanting to scream out, "JUST LET ME ALONE ALREADY" but I bit down on my tongue and replied calmly.

"err, possibly not a great idea pa, my scar is still healing, last thing I need is to get Sand into the wound and get an infection, but hey, why don't you and ma go, I don't wanna put a damper on your plans."

I waited, hoping, no praying I did not have to tell them what I wanted to do, and that I wanted to be alone.

Ma spoke, "Oh, John, we can't go off enjoying ourselves when Richie needs us."

"Ma, I'm fine, you go, really have a great time."

Ma sat down, but eyed me suspiciously, I took a deep breath and decided to start with compliments, that way I could add in to the conversation about my plans for the day. 

"Ma, this bacon is delicious, you are a great cook."
"Aw you flatter me," still she eyed me carefully, taking time eating her own breakfast, while studying my expression.
The nervous feeling in the pit of my stomach was summersaulting in knots, I tried to avoid eye contact cause one things for sure, you could not pull the wool over ma's eye's she was a shrewd cookie make no mistake. I guess its a parent's radar. finally she spoke,

"Ok, out with it son, what's wrong?"
"Nothings wrong ma, I mean it, you are a great cook and make the best breakfast in New Jersey" I smiled my best smile.
"huh huh, not buying it sambora, give"
"What?"
"What it is your working up to saying?, Son I've had 3 boy's I know all the tricks... so what is it?" I laughed nervously,
"Its nothing, really......"
"So tell me what its nothing about..."
"Ok, look, now don't take this the wrong way or anything right, cause you know; I really appreciate what you have, no are doing for me,
"Y-e-a-h"
" but thing is, I need some time alone, time to get my head together and stuff, I was thinkin after breakfast of taking a walk and getting some fresh air, and just see where my legs take me."  I swallowed hard and sat waiting.... damn I was twenty eight years of age, why was I feeling nervous, I had my own pad,......  I reasoned it to myself and concluded it came down to respect. finally after looking from one to the other Ma spoke.
"Ok, we get it, you want away us, I guess we have been a little full on, but its only been with best intentions"
"ma, I know and I'm real thankful to you, ... both.... but I need time out, we can do the boardwalk tomorrow, I promise "  Damn, I watched Ma' expression, and I am sure I saw disappointment flit across her face, the last thing after all they had done for me was to hurt them, but I needed space on my own.
As she spoke she placed her hand on my arm, 

"Its fine, we get it don't we John, just promise me you won't over do it and if you need a cab grab one back home, ok"

I smiled and agreed "ok ma, thanks."

She looked at me and smiled back and her hand moved from my arm to my hand.
"So, could a trip to the hospital be included in your walk by chance?"

"I smiled, "Maybe, let's see."

"Well, a certain nurse has just started her shift of ten days, so you are bound to catch her at some point today."

Inside I felt my heart flip again, was I that transparent that Ma saw what I wanted to do and how I felt?.

again I smiled, "thanks Ma." I got up from the table and moved round and kissed Ma on the cheek, Pa looked across and waved his hand, I'll be back around six if that's ok?"

"Sure thing, Supper will be ready and waiting, Richie remember take it easy, I mean it."

"I promise ma."

I left through the kitchen door walked round the outside of the house.
I inhaled the air deep into my lungs and savoured the taste, sweet nectar, out on the side walk I kept breathing deep, the sun was warm on my face, and I felt free.
My plans were to take a gentle walk down to the cab company by way of a stationers, and get them to drop me at the hospital.

I walked at a steady pace so not to stretch or possibly injure myself and reached the cab office in forty minutes, walking inside I booked a cab and sat in the waiting area for the cab to collect me from base. while I waited I opened the pad I had got for Jon from the stationer's and wrote a few lyrics to a song that had been going round in my head.

 "Something For The Pain"
Happiness, it's been no friend to me
But forever after ain't what it's all cracked up to be
Yeah, I had a taste, you were my fantasy
But I lost my faith when I hit reality
I don't need no Guru to tell me what to do
When your feeling like a headline on
Yesterday's news

Come on, come on, come on
Give me something for the pain
Give me something for the blues
Give me something for the pain when
I feel I've been danglin' from a hang-man's noose
Give me something I can use
To get me through the night
Make me feel all right,
Something like you

Loneliness has found a home in me
My suitcase and guitar are my only family
I've tried to need someone, like they needed me
I opened up my heart, but all I did was bleed
I don't need no lover, just to get screwed
They don't make a bandage, that's going to cover my bruise

Come on, come on, come on
Give me something for the pain
Give me something for the blues
Give me something for the pain when
I feel I've been danglin' from a hang-man's noose
Give me something I can use
To get me through the night
Make me feel all right,
Something like you

Pull me under (Help I'm falling)
Run through my veins (Night is calling)
To a place (Feels like I'm flying)
Where I feel no pain (Christ I'm dying)
Be the pillow under my head
Cover me when I'm in your bed
Take me higher than I've ever been
Take me down and back again
Come to me, be my disguise
Open your coat, let me crawl inside
Come on, come on, come on

Come on, come on, come on
Give me something for the pain
Give me something for the blues
Give me something for the pain when
I feel I've been danglin' from a hang-man's noose
Give me something I can use
To get me through the night
Make me feel all right,
Something like you.

I finished writing just as the cab arrived, the driver came in, "Cab for Sambora?"
putting the pad away I answered, "Yeah that's me, lets go."