Chapter 17

I headed into the room to see him back in his bed one of the orderlies had moved him back in and covered him up. He was shivering slightly so I moved to the end of the bed and pulled the blanket up around his shoulders. His face was scrunched up as if he was having an unpleasant dream. I moved his hair back from his face it hurt just to see just how bad he was. But no matter how much it tore my insides out just looking at him I was not going to leave him. I was going to be here so he could l on me. If nothing else after such a horrid tour ...this was making us closer as brothers. The resentment and anger we all had been feeling at the end of this tour was gone disappeared as if it was never there. Right now all we felt was the feeling that we needed to be here for Jon we needed to take care of our brother our friend.

When Richie sat with me I fell to sleep. When I woke up I looked around shocked to find myself not in my room. I sat in a room where music was playing. Where the hell was I? There was tons of people walking around some were crying others were talking. How the hell did I get here I stood up only to feel no pain. I smiled wow this was nice no more pain no more having to deal with the oxygen under my nose. I walked through the door and stopped. There were more people in this room. I went to talk to the one guy to ask him what he was crying for but he acted like he didn't hear me.

 

I turned to see anyone I could talk to when I was shocked to see Richie helping D into the room she was dressed all in black and my buddy was barely on his feet. “what the hell why was D clinging to him...” what the hell was going on... behind them was my parents my father looked so old … but I just saw him yesterday...” My mom was sobbing as he walked with her I followed behind them into the main room. What the hell was going on? Then I froze in front of them lay a casket I stumbled what the hell where was this what was this. Around the casket that I could not even force myself to look around were pictures and flowers. To my shock they were pictures of me! I moved further what the hell. My mom was once again sobbing saying her baby over and over again. D hadn't said anything but Richie was sobbing softly holding onto my wife. Dave stood by the casket just staring down Tico stood next to him his hand resting on it.

 

“It’s no right Teek  ... he was only twenty eight years old …. Why couldn't they have saved him... he tried to hold on so hard ...if they had just found a transplant in time... But they didn't … it’s not going to be the same without him.....” Dave's voice broke.

“Dave I'm not dead I am right here...” I yelled but no one heard me. I moved closer to them and stared at them then looked down to see who they were looking at. My blood froze in my body staring down at myself. My eyes were closed dressed in my best blue suit. I was the one laying in the casket. “NO! I am not dead no no I am not dead that’s not me I am right here...” I screamed again.

 

Richie moved next to the casket next laying a rose on my hands. “I'll take care of D just like you asked me to buddy... I'll miss you...” his voice broke. He leaned down to kiss my forehead what the hell I am not dead I am standing right here...I tried to grab him to tell him that but my hand went right through him. I stared in horror and turned to my mom trying to grab her to tell her I was right here but once again my hand went right through her. “Momma I am right here I'm not dead …. I swear momma please pop... Tell her I am not dead that's not me... “I backed away from them

 “Sorry bud but you are dead...” I whirled around to see Alec standing there.

 “No I am not …. I'm not dead I can't be I have too much to do yet …. This can't be happening...” I yelled at him.

 “Face it man … that's you … right there...” he pointed to the body in the casket. “You’re DEAD deceased …. No longer here...” He grinned “that means I can take over the band....”

 “NO!” I screamed.

 I was setting next to the bed when I noticed Jon was moving in his sleep making noise his face was pale. Tears were running down his face and he was shaking. Then he shot up in bed and screamed. He was shaking so bad. I moved to his side. “Shh Jonny  ... It’s okay ...shh  ...” He was shaking badly his body in a cold sweat. “Jonny?” I wrapped my arms around him and his eyes finally opened to look at me. Then he literally grabbed into me shaking. “shh its okay Jon its alright...”

 “I”m not dead Richie I swear....” He winced as he moved I wrapped my arms around him tighter. “I'm not I'm not … don't let Alec take over the band …. I'm alive don't bury me please … don't say goodbye...” His words were tumbling over themselves.

 

“Jonny shh relax no buddy it was just a dream you're alive … right here with me ….” He was shaking so bad his heart monitor was going nuts. “You have to calm down or the nurse will be in here … now come on look at me you're not dead you are right here..... I promise.... I wouldn't let Alec take over the band I promise...” He buried his head in my chest sobbing as if his whole world was coming down. “it was just a bad nightmare ….” He just held onto him I wondered what the hell kind of dream had made him react this way. Whatever it was it was a doozy as he kept repeating I'm not dead I'm not dead.

 

"Jon, relax, it's ok, c'mon bro" I held onto him as he continued to shake and sob uncontrollably.

"Rich, it was real, so real..... like a scene from Ghost, but it was me,"

"What are you talking about? your not making any sense?"

"Just tell me I am really alive, your not lying to me?"

"Jon, your here I am holding you, or am I dead too, if that's the case were all dead."

"I don't know, I'm scared, really scared."

"Well I'm here and you are gonna be fine."

"but it was real"

"Jon, what was real? the only thing that is real is we are here in a hospital room."

"I - I - I was dead...." as I held on he sobbed some more, then composing himself a little he continued...

"It was my funeral and you were all there, I saw myself in the casket, I kept screaming I am here but no-one heard me...it was some scary shit.... I still don't know if that was real or not.... I'm scared really scared..."

"But it was not real, you are here, you are very much alive, in my arms... so calm down.. ok"

I felt Jon nod his head, but his trembling continued, I needed a nurse to come and give him a sedative to relax him. I reached over and pressed the buzzer while stroking and holding Jon close.

The door opened, and a nurse walked in..." is everything ok?"

she looked across and saw the state Jon was in and came over. I explained and she left saying she would be right back. Sure enough she returned holding a pill pot and some water. Bending down she addressed Jon direct.

"Jon, its time for some meds, can you sit back and take these for me?"

He raised his head and looked at the nurse and did as he was asked. his shaking had ceased a little. As soon as he had taken the meds he fell right back into my arms. As the nurse left she assured me she would return in a while to check on his progress. I must have sat holding him like that for ages, as when I looked down he was sleeping soundly again.

I moved him back into his bed and pulled the covers around him, then left quietly to go talk to the nurse. From what I understood Jon had dreamt he was dead and saw his own funeral, man it had really scared him.

Outside of the room I walked to the station and spoke to the head nurse.

"Thank you for coming so quick and giving him those meds, what were they out of interest?"

"a sleeping sedative."

"Right., I really have never seen Jon so bad before, he told me he had seen his own funeral, when he woke he was shaking and sobbing and telling me he was alive....."

"That is natural, some of the meds we are giving to Jon can play on the mind given that he has been told he needs a transplant too, add the two together and his mind went into over drive. he will be fine though. Would you like me go get a Dr to come see you both when he wakes?"
"I nodded, "Yeah, that will be great. I've never seen Jon fall to pieces like that before ever, he is the back bone in the band, it kinda feels weird me being the strong one."

The nurse watched me and listened to my rambling, I had to admit she was a real beauty, long blonde hair, green eye's, if things were different I would really like to get to know her better, drawing back on myself I had to stop myself from asking for a date. I was here for Jon. Leaving the nurses station I headed back to Jon's room. Back inside he was still sleeping and it looked to be peaceful, I took the seat next to him and flicked through some of the magazines and books that had been brought in for Jon. Next thing I knew was I was being woken by a gentle shake from Pop.
"Richie, son, were here, go home son get some sleep."
"Hey, "
"You look worn out, c'mon you need your rest, outta here now, no arguments."
"Pa, its ok i'm fine..."
"Richard Sambora," ma voice echoed round the room, when your parents tell you to go home, we mean go home. respect your elders."
looking at ma I knew there was no room for negotiation, but I needed to tell them about the transplant.
"ok, I'll go home but can you hang on a moment, there is something you both need to know, I will be right back." I lifted my bones out of the chair and for the second time today I went to page Dr Markus. The same nurse I had been speaking with was sitting at the desk, she gave me a smile as I approached the desk. I'm sure she was attracted to me as much as I was to her.
As I was thinking about asking her out my thoughts were interrupted as Dr Markus arrived standing in front of me.
"Richie?"
"Hey Doc, Jon's parents are here,"
"Say no more lead the way, are you sure you are ok telling them?"
I nodded, it was something I felt I had to do, in some way owed it to tell them both, Jon would want me too."
"Yeah, I have to do this, just back me up if I struggle?"
"Sure thing, shall we?" he gestured to walk back into the room to Ma and pa.

As we entered, they both looked to us, I took a deep breath and exhaled, with my heart hammering in my chest I tried to compose myself to tell Jon's parents the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my life. Doc stood to my right as I began....
"Ma, pa, I have some news for you about Jon, please relax, but  it's not good news....."

There faces were grey as the listened to what was to happen to their child. Doc as promised was there and filled in the medical facts helping me out, by the end both Dr Markus and me were greeted with silence. Then as if he knew, Jon woke from his sleep, looking to the left of his bed he saw his ma and pa. All three embraced, the next stages to Jon getting well were gonna test all of us....