Chapter 19

"Penny for them"

"Uh?"

"Your miles away, what's wrong John, you have been pretty quiet all day?"

"Mmm"

"So, are you gonna tell?"

I remained silent, and concentrated on the drive back home; I smiled at ma then continued with the drive. Arriving back home we both headed into the house and straight to the living room. Immediately the questions began...

"Ok John, we are home, so tell what's eating you?"

"Nothing, just leave it"

"No, I've been married to you long enough to know when something is on your mind, so give."

"Can’t a pop be worried for his son?"

"Yeah of course he can, but there's more than that."

I paced the room and picked up the TV remote, aiming it at the screen it buzzed to life. The news channel was on and the last few seconds of the latest story aired......

"Again if anyone knows the where about of Dr George Manning, please contact this number... 0900-515-5299 ...  and now for the weather..."

I looked at ma, she had no idea what she had seen on the news, I did.

She walked over to me, trying to soften me with another tactic, slipping her arms around my waist she tried to gently coerce me to tell her.

How could I tell her the person that was mentioned on the news was responsible for her son lying at deaths door in a hospital? I couldn't, not yet.

I looked down into her blue eyes that looked up at me searching for the answers. She was right I could not keep back anything and she had always been able to read me like a book, but this time I had to keep what I knew inside.

"John, please, tell me.... whatever it is we can handle it together."

"Carol please.... let it be......"

"Let it be?"

"Yeah, there's nothing to tell, I'm tired and just worried about our son. I never expected to spend the day in hospital celebrating my sons 28th birthday, fuck, I never expected to have to be tested for a kidney to save his life, and you want to know what's wrong....."

"I'm sorry, your right, I am over reacting....right?... but I know I'm not ........am I?, .......but I'll let it be for now....."

I kissed her head and gave her a weak smile. She pulled back from me and she turned to walk off to the kitchen,

"So, what would you like to eat?"

"Anything"

"Broth?, a full meal?, idea's tell me?"

"Anything, whatever you make is fine with me."

"Ok, I’ll go see what there is..."

She left the room and I sat down and thought about what I had done to get justice for my son.

It had been about a week ago, a week last Thursday in fact, I went along to Doc McGhee's office with some of my Italian American friends. Richie had given me the address details. 

When we arrived we walked up the stairs and straight into his office. He was sat behind his desk on the phone; he hung up as soon as we entered.

I'll not go into the finer details, but let's just say that the discussion we had was very interesting. Within minutes I had the name of the Dr that had injected our son, and with a little persuasion he gave us all the back ground information on this man too.

It turns out that Dr George Manning was an unlicensed Dr after he had worked with a coach of the USA Olympic Team in Sareavo in 1982.

He had been in charge of the athletics team.  There was a great up and coming Gymnast named Santos Cherney, Manning was in charge of injuries and physio and the like, he was a real smooth talker and managed to convinced the coach that to get better performances from the team; a shot of a steroid would enhance the chance of winning more gold medals and aid the injuries to repair themselves.

The off shot was the young gymnast Santos, died. Then while awaiting trial Manning took off and went into hiding. The coach stood trial and was found guilty of manslaughter and served 10 years in jail. A hunt for Manning entailed but they could not find him. The ironic thing is, McGhee and Manning had both been at the same university so they already knew each other. Doc made contact with Manning and hired him to come on tour with the band.

The steroids he used, I now know were not the American Medical Association approved drugs, which are metered does, he bought the steroids used to inject Jon from the black market.

So, armed with this information I went off to the police and gave all my evidence, I had to tell of what happened to Jon, but sworn signed promises, called avadavits will ensure my sons name stays out of it, he will be known as celebrity A when the trial starts and it will start, So now the TV campaign to find the son of a bitch is underway and for justice to be done, for the kid that died and my son that is fighting for his life right now.

The door to the lounge opened and in walked ma with a tray of food. My hunger was low but I knew I had to eat; I smiled and gratefully accepted the tray with food.

She disappeared and re appeared with her food tray too, taking a seat on the sofa next to me she ate her meal. I sensed there was going to be questions, but I was not ready for the one that came first.

“John, you do love me right?”

“What kind of question is that?”

“One that I need you to answer?”

“Of course I love you, why would you ask such a stupid question?”

“mmm, just hear me out ok?”

I took a mouthful of the beef hash and chewed, the meal was delicious, but my appetite was lost on me, I chewed my food and listened to my wife.

“We have been married a long, long time John, you know everything there is to know about me, warts and all, just as I know everything about you. So if you love me as much as you say you do, why won’t you tell me the truth about what is bothering you? Nothing you can say is going to make things any worse, in fact it may help. I am strong and don’t need protecting, yes I know that is what you are trying to do, so come on give.”

I sat and took in her talk, it was true, out of the two of us, carol was stronger than I was, but I just did not know.... I did not want to tell her in case we could not find a donor match for Jon and he died, worst case scenario I grant you, but I just felt it was right that I kept it to myself for the time being. My other concern now was; there was no way she would quit, she would just keep on at me. I sat thinking and eating my meal, avoiding eye contact.

“Are you going to say nothing to me?”

Taking a deep breath, I answered her;

“Carol, look, there is something ok, but I beg you please, let it be... at least for now, as soon as we find a donor for our son and he has the operation I promise I will tell you everything. Will you grant me that grace Please?”

She looked at me, a concerned look on her beautiful face, her eye’s glazed, but at last she spoke, far softer this time and without force.

“Ok, I’ll do as you ask, I am really not happy about it, but I trust you and will wait for you to confide in me and share with me whatever it is that you think you cannot tell me now, I will let you do it in your own time.”

She reached over and took my hand, reassuring me she supported me. That was a comfort but time was the enemy and we needed to move things fast.  

Chapter 18

The next couple days felt like a gray cloud had fallen over all of us. Our spirits were lower than I had ever thought. I watched as Jon just slept most of the day away and had to be put back on the oxygen when his breathing became labored again. I tried with both Tico and David and even his brothers to bring Jon's spirits up but it was hard with the news that we all had gotten about Jon's health. He had gone from a robust on the go singer to being practically bed ridden. I knew I had to go home but I fought it so much that Doctor Markus put a cot in Jon's room and that's where I slept.

After receiving the news we all asked Doctor Markus what we could do to help Jon. His remark was just to be tested to find out of anyone was compatible to donate to Jon. This got me thinking to our friends and family gathered in Jersey. What if one of them was compatible then we needed them to come in and get tested anything for Jon. I called so many of our friends but didn't tell them the exact problem and wrote up a list.

It was when I was talking to one of our friends that an idea hit me to bring Jon's spirits up again. They had told me to wish Jon a happy birthday for them in a couple days. With everything that happened I had and I think everyone else forgot that Jon would be turning twenty eight in a couple days. After I got done with the phone call I started to make plans and talked to Dr Markus. While this all was going on what I didn't know was that Pop had a few things up his sleeve to do with Doc McGee who didn't have the guts to show up at the hospital which all of us were thankful for.

A couple days later I had talked to everyone and we had it all set up. To keep herself busy Ma had made the cake and took over the decorations. Because Jon couldn't leave the hospital we were allowed to have it in the part of the sun room. It would allow Jon time out of bed and time to be with the family. None of us told him what was up. Dorothea had snuck some of Jon's clothes in for him. Though because of his catheter bag he had to wear sweat pants as they changed it. But for Jon it was great that he was able to wear his normal clothes even if they were a tad big for him. Much to poor Jon's embarrassment the nurses helped Dorothea help him get changed but it was nice to see him in regular clothes for a little while.

His voice was slowly coming back though he talked he talked softly as to not aggravate his throat that and he just had so little energy. The day of the party he was told we were going to just enjoy some time in the sun room. So he wasn't too shocked when a wheelchair was brought in for him. I had to fight tears as I was the one that lifted him up to put him in the chair. I was shocked at how light he felt . It was like lifting a feather though his legs were swollen he still didn't have much weight to him. His head rested on my shoulder as I gently set him down Dorothea fussed with the blanket over his legs while the nurse put his portable oxygen on the back of the chair. “ready for a walk..” I asked forcing myself to be cheerful. He just nodded his head as Dorothea took the handles we left the room. A few of the nurses waved at Jon as we passed and he gave them a small smile but relaxed as we took a walk. I had to stall for a few minutes before we could go to the room as we had to make sure everyone was there and things were set up. A few minutes later we walked into the room it was all worth it to see the shock on Jon's face. A big banner hung from one side that said Happy Birthday Jon gathered around were his brothers the band ma and pop and my parents. Along with my parents even Dave's parents showed up to support Jon.

He looked up at me “what how... I thought....” his voice was soft and shocked. I knelt down by his chair looking into the blue eyes of my best friend. “I thought you'd like to celebrate your birthday even Doctor Markus said you could have some cake ….you got a day pass to come to the room for a couple hours. “ He reached up and wrapped his arms around me and hugged me as tight as he could. Jon was not much for manly demonstrations of emotions but lately he had hugged a lot more. I wrapped my arms around him tightly. “happy birthday bud.... I know its not so great having to have your party in the hospital but hey … at least we get to celebrate it...”

He grinned and let us wheel him closer to the group where he got a ton of hugs and kisses. We all enjoyed the time we had with him. We sang happy birthday to him and even gave him his gifts. I had gotten him a new guitar which was set aside for when he was feeling better. The other gifts were simpler he got some new pajamas from his parents which made him roll his eyes and shake his head. Though the idea was appealing as the hospital gowns were drafty and cold. The main gift that had shocked even me was the management had sent a plaque to him. It stated that New Jersey had gone double platinum I wasn't sure if that was great to hear. It might only reinforce what Doc had said but Jon wiped at a tear. “what's wrong Jon...”

“Gone platinum but for what …. “ he whispered.

“hey … this is not because of the tour this is cause of the fans ….” Dave sat by him. He put his hand on Jon's shoulder. “they are out there for you still... I have run into a few fans … somehow its leaked out that your sick.... “ Pop muttered something about Doc but wasn't clear enough to be heard. He pulled large box over to them. Inside laid thousand upon thousand of cards. “they are get well cards …. they keep coming to the fan club... there are a few stuffed animals and I don't even want to talk about the flowers... you know your a guy ..” he joked. Jon picked up a few and opened them a smile graced his face some of them were so sweet. He looked at his mom.

“they know?” He frowned he wasn't sure if he wanted them to know just how bad he was. He loved his fans but this was a personal battle he was dealing with. The idea that they might know about having to have a kidney wasn't something he was sure he wanted them to know.

She shook her head “all they know is that your very sick right now and are in the hospital.. they don't know what hospital or why.” Carol sat by him. “I promise honey they don't know everything … not unless you wanted them to know....”

Tico clapped his hands together “okay we are getting a bit morbid for a birthday party...” he shot a grin at Jon “i don't about you but I'd love some of that cake...” We continued the party and it was a couple hours later when Doctor Markus came himself to get Jon. We could tell he was getting tired it had been a great party for him. He even signed a few autographs for a few of the patients in the sun room. They didn't try to intrude on his space and a couple were for little kids. He even got a hug from a young girl till he fought a yawn. We knew it was time to get Jon back to his room when his doctor came in.

By the time we got him back to his room Jon was almost asleep. He didn't protest when the nurses helped him change back into his pajamas before being tucked into bed. His gifts were set to the side of his bed while the rest would be taken home with Dorothea the cards were set on the stand by his bed so he could read them later. He soon was asleep. It was a good day and it was great to see him smile enjoying himself. While he slept I turned on the tv on low to watch a few while Dorothea sat in the other chair. When the news came on I was ready to turn it off when a face on the screen caught my attention. I turned it up.

“Doctor George Manning has been arrested for false representation. He was falsely advertising himself as a physician while his license to practice had been suspended. He is accused of injecting countless patients with medications without checking for adverse reactions. Some of his so called patients are from a long list of celebrities and well known public figures. We will let you know more once we have more information. If you have news pertaining to this individual or if you have a claim against him please call this number. “ I stared at the television then looked at Dorothea. She didn't seem phased by it but then she didn't know the name of the doctor that had injected Jon with those damn steroids. “D that's the doctor that did this to Jon.....”

Chapter 17

I headed into the room to see him back in his bed one of the orderlies had moved him back in and covered him up. He was shivering slightly so I moved to the end of the bed and pulled the blanket up around his shoulders. His face was scrunched up as if he was having an unpleasant dream. I moved his hair back from his face it hurt just to see just how bad he was. But no matter how much it tore my insides out just looking at him I was not going to leave him. I was going to be here so he could l on me. If nothing else after such a horrid tour ...this was making us closer as brothers. The resentment and anger we all had been feeling at the end of this tour was gone disappeared as if it was never there. Right now all we felt was the feeling that we needed to be here for Jon we needed to take care of our brother our friend.

When Richie sat with me I fell to sleep. When I woke up I looked around shocked to find myself not in my room. I sat in a room where music was playing. Where the hell was I? There was tons of people walking around some were crying others were talking. How the hell did I get here I stood up only to feel no pain. I smiled wow this was nice no more pain no more having to deal with the oxygen under my nose. I walked through the door and stopped. There were more people in this room. I went to talk to the one guy to ask him what he was crying for but he acted like he didn't hear me.

 

I turned to see anyone I could talk to when I was shocked to see Richie helping D into the room she was dressed all in black and my buddy was barely on his feet. “what the hell why was D clinging to him...” what the hell was going on... behind them was my parents my father looked so old … but I just saw him yesterday...” My mom was sobbing as he walked with her I followed behind them into the main room. What the hell was going on? Then I froze in front of them lay a casket I stumbled what the hell where was this what was this. Around the casket that I could not even force myself to look around were pictures and flowers. To my shock they were pictures of me! I moved further what the hell. My mom was once again sobbing saying her baby over and over again. D hadn't said anything but Richie was sobbing softly holding onto my wife. Dave stood by the casket just staring down Tico stood next to him his hand resting on it.

 

“It’s no right Teek  ... he was only twenty eight years old …. Why couldn't they have saved him... he tried to hold on so hard ...if they had just found a transplant in time... But they didn't … it’s not going to be the same without him.....” Dave's voice broke.

“Dave I'm not dead I am right here...” I yelled but no one heard me. I moved closer to them and stared at them then looked down to see who they were looking at. My blood froze in my body staring down at myself. My eyes were closed dressed in my best blue suit. I was the one laying in the casket. “NO! I am not dead no no I am not dead that’s not me I am right here...” I screamed again.

 

Richie moved next to the casket next laying a rose on my hands. “I'll take care of D just like you asked me to buddy... I'll miss you...” his voice broke. He leaned down to kiss my forehead what the hell I am not dead I am standing right here...I tried to grab him to tell him that but my hand went right through him. I stared in horror and turned to my mom trying to grab her to tell her I was right here but once again my hand went right through her. “Momma I am right here I'm not dead …. I swear momma please pop... Tell her I am not dead that's not me... “I backed away from them

 “Sorry bud but you are dead...” I whirled around to see Alec standing there.

 “No I am not …. I'm not dead I can't be I have too much to do yet …. This can't be happening...” I yelled at him.

 “Face it man … that's you … right there...” he pointed to the body in the casket. “You’re DEAD deceased …. No longer here...” He grinned “that means I can take over the band....”

 “NO!” I screamed.

 I was setting next to the bed when I noticed Jon was moving in his sleep making noise his face was pale. Tears were running down his face and he was shaking. Then he shot up in bed and screamed. He was shaking so bad. I moved to his side. “Shh Jonny  ... It’s okay ...shh  ...” He was shaking badly his body in a cold sweat. “Jonny?” I wrapped my arms around him and his eyes finally opened to look at me. Then he literally grabbed into me shaking. “shh its okay Jon its alright...”

 “I”m not dead Richie I swear....” He winced as he moved I wrapped my arms around him tighter. “I'm not I'm not … don't let Alec take over the band …. I'm alive don't bury me please … don't say goodbye...” His words were tumbling over themselves.

 

“Jonny shh relax no buddy it was just a dream you're alive … right here with me ….” He was shaking so bad his heart monitor was going nuts. “You have to calm down or the nurse will be in here … now come on look at me you're not dead you are right here..... I promise.... I wouldn't let Alec take over the band I promise...” He buried his head in my chest sobbing as if his whole world was coming down. “it was just a bad nightmare ….” He just held onto him I wondered what the hell kind of dream had made him react this way. Whatever it was it was a doozy as he kept repeating I'm not dead I'm not dead.

 

"Jon, relax, it's ok, c'mon bro" I held onto him as he continued to shake and sob uncontrollably.

"Rich, it was real, so real..... like a scene from Ghost, but it was me,"

"What are you talking about? your not making any sense?"

"Just tell me I am really alive, your not lying to me?"

"Jon, your here I am holding you, or am I dead too, if that's the case were all dead."

"I don't know, I'm scared, really scared."

"Well I'm here and you are gonna be fine."

"but it was real"

"Jon, what was real? the only thing that is real is we are here in a hospital room."

"I - I - I was dead...." as I held on he sobbed some more, then composing himself a little he continued...

"It was my funeral and you were all there, I saw myself in the casket, I kept screaming I am here but no-one heard me...it was some scary shit.... I still don't know if that was real or not.... I'm scared really scared..."

"But it was not real, you are here, you are very much alive, in my arms... so calm down.. ok"

I felt Jon nod his head, but his trembling continued, I needed a nurse to come and give him a sedative to relax him. I reached over and pressed the buzzer while stroking and holding Jon close.

The door opened, and a nurse walked in..." is everything ok?"

she looked across and saw the state Jon was in and came over. I explained and she left saying she would be right back. Sure enough she returned holding a pill pot and some water. Bending down she addressed Jon direct.

"Jon, its time for some meds, can you sit back and take these for me?"

He raised his head and looked at the nurse and did as he was asked. his shaking had ceased a little. As soon as he had taken the meds he fell right back into my arms. As the nurse left she assured me she would return in a while to check on his progress. I must have sat holding him like that for ages, as when I looked down he was sleeping soundly again.

I moved him back into his bed and pulled the covers around him, then left quietly to go talk to the nurse. From what I understood Jon had dreamt he was dead and saw his own funeral, man it had really scared him.

Outside of the room I walked to the station and spoke to the head nurse.

"Thank you for coming so quick and giving him those meds, what were they out of interest?"

"a sleeping sedative."

"Right., I really have never seen Jon so bad before, he told me he had seen his own funeral, when he woke he was shaking and sobbing and telling me he was alive....."

"That is natural, some of the meds we are giving to Jon can play on the mind given that he has been told he needs a transplant too, add the two together and his mind went into over drive. he will be fine though. Would you like me go get a Dr to come see you both when he wakes?"
"I nodded, "Yeah, that will be great. I've never seen Jon fall to pieces like that before ever, he is the back bone in the band, it kinda feels weird me being the strong one."

The nurse watched me and listened to my rambling, I had to admit she was a real beauty, long blonde hair, green eye's, if things were different I would really like to get to know her better, drawing back on myself I had to stop myself from asking for a date. I was here for Jon. Leaving the nurses station I headed back to Jon's room. Back inside he was still sleeping and it looked to be peaceful, I took the seat next to him and flicked through some of the magazines and books that had been brought in for Jon. Next thing I knew was I was being woken by a gentle shake from Pop.
"Richie, son, were here, go home son get some sleep."
"Hey, "
"You look worn out, c'mon you need your rest, outta here now, no arguments."
"Pa, its ok i'm fine..."
"Richard Sambora," ma voice echoed round the room, when your parents tell you to go home, we mean go home. respect your elders."
looking at ma I knew there was no room for negotiation, but I needed to tell them about the transplant.
"ok, I'll go home but can you hang on a moment, there is something you both need to know, I will be right back." I lifted my bones out of the chair and for the second time today I went to page Dr Markus. The same nurse I had been speaking with was sitting at the desk, she gave me a smile as I approached the desk. I'm sure she was attracted to me as much as I was to her.
As I was thinking about asking her out my thoughts were interrupted as Dr Markus arrived standing in front of me.
"Richie?"
"Hey Doc, Jon's parents are here,"
"Say no more lead the way, are you sure you are ok telling them?"
I nodded, it was something I felt I had to do, in some way owed it to tell them both, Jon would want me too."
"Yeah, I have to do this, just back me up if I struggle?"
"Sure thing, shall we?" he gestured to walk back into the room to Ma and pa.

As we entered, they both looked to us, I took a deep breath and exhaled, with my heart hammering in my chest I tried to compose myself to tell Jon's parents the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my life. Doc stood to my right as I began....
"Ma, pa, I have some news for you about Jon, please relax, but  it's not good news....."

There faces were grey as the listened to what was to happen to their child. Doc as promised was there and filled in the medical facts helping me out, by the end both Dr Markus and me were greeted with silence. Then as if he knew, Jon woke from his sleep, looking to the left of his bed he saw his ma and pa. All three embraced, the next stages to Jon getting well were gonna test all of us....