Chapter 45

As Mike took me back to my room, waiting inside was Dot and my ma.
"Hey Jon, good workout?"
I was soaked to the bone in sweat as I answered, "nah it was easy today" I scowled at them both for their stupid question.
Dot picked up on it, my ma blanked me.
"Ok Jon we were only asking, let me say sarcasm has never been your strong point. Just stick to what ya good at ok?"
Dot said it serious, with danger and an opening for me to start a fight, I decided to stay quiet, tonight was a celebration and I was sure the hell not gonna start anything least of all now.

Dot waited for a come back, but when I said nothing, she her voice softened

"I brought your suit for tonight, and some casuals, I didn't know what you wanna wear."
" Richie ain't said, can you call him and ask?"
Dot nodded and headed out to use a payphone just as Richie walked in.
Both ma, me and Dot laughed, causing Rich to turn and see who we were laughing at, "what's so funny? What I miss?"
Still laughing I  dismissed it, "it's nothing honest, private joke right ladies?" both nodded as the giggling died down. 
To move on from the laughter as Rich was looking confused and I could feel an atmosphere building, I asked "so, is it tux tonight or casual?"
"both, tux and casual."
"both? Rich, I can't change twice? It's one or the other?"
"tux then it's an award ceremony after all."
"so you think we can win?
Sure I was excited but nervous too, but I believed we had done enough to win voicing it to Richie I said it with conviction. "hell yeah, why not, we have worked hard, and we god damn deserve it, we have worked our asses off for the last two years."
Rich stood by my mom, as he answered, "Yeah, true, bro, and, harder than the other critic favourites too, if we don't, we can give um the sob story eh?" Rich was smiling but as he said it the smile faded fast... "I'm such a dumbass, that was real stupid of me, sorry, forget it Jon."

looking over at Rich, it suddenly dawned on me, were we getting this award because of what had happened to me or cause of our music.

Rich saw my expression, "Oh no, don't go down that road Jon, I said it in jest, forget it... ok?"

I nodded my head, and tried to shake it off, but in the pit of my stomach the niggle of doubt had set in. Trying to sound more cheerful than I felt I asked

 "so ya gonna help me dress?"
"sure" lifting my suit from the closet we went into my bathroom.

"You gonna want a shower right?"

"Well yeah, I aint gonna put my best tux on covered in sweat am I?"

"You want me to go fetch Mike?"

"no, you can help me Rich,"

"You sure?"

"rich, I'm showering, ok?, I can wash myself, you just need to help me stand and watch I don't slip ok?"

nodding his head he answered "Oh, ok"

stripping out of my wet training clothes, Richie let out a gasp. I looked around and at the door unsure what it was he was gasping at. Not seeing anything I asked... "What?"

"You?"

"What about me?"

"Your arms?, your chest?"

"What?"

"you been pumping iron?"

"well yeah, in a way I guess, why is something wrong?"

he stammered his reply, "n-n-n no, I'm just shocked you have built yourself up so well"

I was feeling a little self conscious having my body scrutinised." so, ya gonna stand there ogling what you wished ya had or ya gonna help me?"

moving over to my side he helped me to remove the rest of my clothes. then pushing me to the shower he helped me stand, finding my body weight and holding onto the hand rail I ran the shower and washed the sweat from my body. All washed Richie helped towel me dry, then helped me dress in my tux. just as we were leaving the bathroom he turned me to see my reflection in the mirror, staring back at me, was a thinner, but healthier looking me, I smiled at the reflection as Rich opened the door to my room and we entered. 

chapter 44

So It was all set, the awards show was in twenty four hours time, Doc had made sure I was good to go, but until the time came to leave with the guys; she warned me if there was a hint of any possible complications she would pull the plug, and I'd have to stay at rehab and see the guys; presenting and collecting the award on TV.

Not wanting to rock the boat, I just agreed and did everything I was told to,  making sure I had the best chance, to get out and away from the drone of rehab, at least to feel normal again; for a couple of hours anyway, even though I had to go in a chair.

The Doc was adamant about that. Truth be known I wasn't comfortable about it but right now I'd agree to anything.

 

Richie had left some time ago, and so had teek and Dave, and Dot had headed home with my ma, both excited about the baby, for the first time for ages I was alone, alone  with just my thoughts, thoughts where I could focus and use my brain again, for other than working to get better.

 The enormity of all I had gone through, sinking in; to reach where I am.

 

Firstly I was one lucky son of a bitch, and second, I was gonna be a pop. No matter how hard I tried I could not stop the nervous knots in the pit of my stomach from somersaulting every time I thought about the baby, then add the AMA's on top of that, and I was in awe. I tried to settle down to sleep, but my mind would not switch off, it was like a tape recorder, replaying all the best bits over and over.

Shuffling back up the bed, I reached the remote and flicked on the TV, maybe there would be something on that could distract me and make me drowsy.

 

the TV sprung to life and immediately my room was filled with voices chattering as I hopped from one channel to another. I finally settled on a old movie, and shuffled down in my bed to watch,  but I could not concentrate, the movie was good, but I just could not settle my mind to get into what was on the screen.

 

With a huge sigh I admitted defeat and clicked the set off, dropping the remote on my lap, I laid my head back and just gave in to my over active mind, praying that it would tire soon enough.

At some point I must of tired as I was being awoke by mike, letting me know the new day had arrived.

 

"morning Jon, time to wake up."

"Huh?"

"C'mon sleepy head, time to greet the day..."

I laid for a few minutes trying to focus my eye's and wake up, Mike was making himself busy getting out my work out clothes, and douche bag.

""So, you excited but tonight?"

It came back to my in a flash, the AMA's, "yeah,  we have never been the critics favourites so this is special. It proves all the pain..." Mike interrupted, " and near killing yourself was worth it?" He stood looking at me with his head on one side and a wry smile on his lips.

Wryly I smiled and answered back, "Yeah"

"well, Doc says light exercise for you only today given you are gonna have a busy day and night, so when you have had breakfast I'll be along to take you to showers ok?"

I nodded.

I watched as Mike left the room, and Teri walked in with my breakfast.  "Morning Jon, how are you feeling today?"
"Great Thanks"
"So tonight's the night huh?"
"Yeah"
"you nervous?"
"Nah, excited, its the first time my band has been nominated for an award, critics always slam us."
"Why?"
"I dunno, they would quote things, like "Jon Bon Jovi, living on his hair..." they would never look at the writing, our voices, our ability to please the fans, nope they just had to have a pop at us, but ya know what, that was ok, cause it just made me work even harder....and now, here we are."
" well, for the record, I like your music, and I am happy to admit I have a couple of your CD's in my car, The bands all cool with me."
"thanks"

After our chat Teri placed my cereal in front of me, and instructed me to eat it all, and that I know the drill by now.  then left me alone to eat, looking down at the bowl it was porridge again. The Doc was certainly gonna push me one way or another, so preparing myself I took the first spoonful and the second, and the third, and the next and the next until the bowl was empty, But looking at my tray I still had Toast and Jelly to eat and a grapefruit and coffee. Not being a big eater,  I had to pace myself and eat it in sittings.
Teri stuck her head round the door half hour later, "you done?"
"Not quite, have I really gotta eat all this? " there was still a slice of toast and the grapefruit left.
"Doc said all of it, or you aint going tonight."
"Well if I eat all this, I aint moving anywhere cause I'll be so fat, my legs won't carry me. Please?" I gave Teri my best hung dog look."
She looked at me, then moved forward to see what was left on the tray. " Ok, I'll make you a deal, finish the toast and Jelly and I'll take the rest away."
" Awe c'mon Teri, seriously?, man I'm stuffed " lifting my shirt I pointed at my swollen belly, "C'mon have a heart?"
She looked at my exposed flesh, and my hung dog expression and relented.
" ok, Just this once." then she grabbed the last piece of toast and bit into it as she took my tray away.
Reaching the door, she looked back and spoke, "fifteen minutes and Mike will be here to take you to showers." I raised my hand and nodded as she left my room and the door closed behind her.
Reaching for the remote I clicked the TV to life, hopping through the stations I settled on the Entertainment, They were talking abut the AMA's,

"Tonight, America prepares for one of the most prestigious award ceremonies, with the AMA's, top bands from all over the USA, all hoping to win an award. The top ten nominees include, Guns n roses, Aerosmith and Bon Jovi., so, who do you want to win?, Call us now on  1-800-517-8856 and  as a once in a lifetime opportunity, the network is giving away 2 tickets to the awards, so if you wanna mingle with the stars, tell us who and why your band should win and if your our caller on line one, your going"  .... "more after this break..." the commercials came on the TV just as mike called in and took me to showers, it was cheesy but I wanted to know if anyone would call in and say my band...... something I guess I would never know.