Chapter 4

When I woke up I couldn't move my wrists. My head felt full of fog and my mouth was drier than the desert in Las Vegas. I opened my eyes then had the close them again as the light seemed to burn into my eyeballs. Where the hell was I. The last thing I remember was coming off stage with Richie. He had been harping on me to get some rest. Then nothing I know we did the show and I knew I was tired but what the fuck where was I. I slowly opened my eyes again seeing where I was shocked the fuck out of me. I was laying in a bed a mask over my face. The room was completely white there was a nurse standing by the one side of the bed I could hear something beeping over my head. I lifted my eyes a bit and saw a monitor. I tried once again to lift my hands but was shocked at how weak I felt. I looked down seeing my wrists were bound to the bed by soft restraints what the hell. I tried to pull on them and even though they were made of gauze and not really restraining my hands I couldn't break them.

I moved my head slowly around trying to get my bearings there was a guy with gray hair standing over to the left with a chart must be my doctor. I tried to open my mouth and talk but nothing came out. Oh something came out a raspy cough did god that hurt. My eyes started to water in pain. The sound must have alerted the doctor that I was awake as he turned to me. The other doctors that were in the room seemed to stop what they were doing and backed off.

“Aah Jon you're awake .. this is good don't move too much...” He moved to the bed and started to look me over. I couldn't do much but stare up at him with my hands bound the way they were. “do you know where you are?” I shook my head slowly. “you're at Robert Wood Johnson Wood University Hospital you were brought here by ambulance when you collapsed coming off stage. Your friend Richie and your parents are waiting to come in to see you. You are in ICU right now because we are still running tests on you to see what is going on with you.” He leaned down to check something on the side of my bed when he shook his head he didn't look happy.

I shook my head and mouthed though they couldn’t see it with the damn mask over my face. “No let me out..” Unfortunately he couldn't see it and I didn't seem to be able to make any sounds but coughing. God that had hurt.

“I will allow your parents to come in ….along with your friend don't worry Jon you are in good hands..” he patted my hand like I was some sick little boy. I scowled at him but couldn't do much. A few scant seconds later my mom was in the room with my pop. She immediately moved to the side of the bed and brushed my hair back from my face and kissed my forehead like she did when I was a little boy.

“baby shhh its okay ...” She looked like she had been crying. That tore my heart out I never wanted to hurt my parents. My eyes swung over to my dad he looked like he had aged over twenty years. I tried to say something once again it was barely a whisper one not even loud enough for them to hear. This was frustrating.

I tried to sit up but it tugged on something on my chest I looked down my eyes widened a bit to see the needle tapped there. My eyes shot up to looking at my best friend who walked into the room. Yet was he my best friend anymore. We fought more than we talked lately especially this last fucking tour. He kept staring at me I tried to convey what I wanted with my eyes. Something Richie and I always were able to do was converse without talking. When He shook his head I knew he had got the message. I nodded my head but again he shook his head. I even tried to give him the stink eye but he shrugged. “no Jon... I am not helping you get out of that bed...” He moved to the side of the bed and winced when he saw my hands were bound to the bed. “you must have got the restraints cause you ripped out your iv and shit..” He leaned on the bed rail looking down at me I could see deep into his dark brown eyes. Richie's eyes were always a way to see how he was feeling. It kind of hurt looking into them now as they were full of concern for me. Even though all we been doing is fighting lately and sick at the sight of each other we still were brothers. I turned my face away from him.

My father walked over to the doctor who was talking to the nurse “He's trying to talk to us but he's not said anything...” I could hear him all the way over in the bed.

“That's because Jon's vocal chords are extremely swollen is best if he didn't talk at all he'll just make it worse and possibly destroy them...” He gave me a look. “let me see how his breathing is if its better I'll move the mask to a cannula.” he moved back over to the bed and told me to breath in and out slowly. I did only wince or twice when I coughed. He nodded moving his hand to the back of my head lifting it up to remove the mask. I took a deep breath and grimaced as the green tube was slid back under my nose. He slid the rest around my ears I grimaced but it wasn't like I couldn’t argue with him. I looked at my hands then at the doctor. “right now lets keep them on … you woke up before and started to rip out everything I had to reinsert your central line and I don't think you want the iv in your throat. So I'd leave them alone.

I glared at him and mouthed “I want out of here...now! Where's Dot....”

Richie seemed to be the one to answer anything. “one you ain't going anywhere you're in fuckin ICU .. Jon... the other we are trying to get a hold of her.” I just glared at him at him when he said I wasn't leaving the hospital. We'll see is all I could think.

As I was watching the determined look appear on my best friend's face I couldn't help over hear Jon's doctor talking to a couple of his colleagues an the nurses on what they needed. I walked over to the doctor letting Ma and Pop talk to Jon to try to talk some sense into his brain. “Doc what's wrong?” My hands went into my pockets. I wasn't sure I wanted to know what was going on. Yet I needed to do what I could to help my brother and his parents.

He turned to look at me then over at Jon as if he was trying to decide whether to tell me anything or not. Yeah he told us something was up when we first were brought to see Jon. He finally nodded folding his arms. “Jon's dealing some serious issues Mr Sambora or Richie if I may.”

I motioned for him to continue. “go ahead...”

“The heavy touring ..add in with the barely sleeping, eating ...add in the serious amount of Steroids in Jon's system... we are worried about his kidneys... they aren't putting out the amount of excess fluid they should. Especially with the amount of fluids we are pushing in order to flush the drugs in his system.... We are concerned also about his weight... do you know that Jon weights exactly one hundred twenty five pounds currently?”

My eyes nearly dropped out of their sockets “he weights what?” I looked back at Jon who was laying with his eyes closed. Now that he was no longer hiding into those damn long coats or that huge ass leather one it was shocking. I honestly didn't notice that until the Doctor said something. Yet didn’t' I say he looked tiny in the big bed. “is that dangerous?”

“Yes Richie it is …it can affect his kidneys his breathing and his system...this is serious … its not something he can blow off …his blood pressure is also low … which is why there is a cuff on his upper arm. I am only telling you this Richie in hopes you can help him and us.”

I looked back at the doctor before looking back at Jon “don't worry Doc I'll help as much as I can.” I made a promise in my head no matter how much I was pissed off at Jon I would do whatever I could to get my best friend/brother better.

Chapter 3

We had it planned, as me, ma and pop came out of ICU with Jon, Tico, Dave and Alex went in.

Back out in the waiting area, my mind was like a machine replaying over all the times Jon had taken a shot, gone out and performed and then came off stage and collapsed. It was scary but it had become part of the routine for us, But it was still running through my mind was there anyway I could have stopped this. Jon was as stubborn as the fucking Manager we had that pushed him daily. Doc's work ethic and preaches had sunk in way to deep for my liking with Jon. Each time Dr George Manning had given Jon a steroid shot I should have stopped it and said to Doc, "No, we ain’t performing, Jon needs to rest his voice." Jon had seen a few specialists during the tour after we all asked him too. let me be clear here, when I say we, I mean Tico, Dave, me and Alex.

One throat analysis told Jon his chords were swollen and he needed to rest them for 4 weeks to allow the swelling and soreness to subside, mentioning that if he chose to ignore his body it could have serious reprecaution's. No shit!!! look at where we are now, thing is immediately after seeing the specialist Jon headed off to see Doc McGhee, and that's when he brought in Dr George Manning. Fuck, why didn't I fight harder.

Excusing myself from Ma B, I walked over to the payphone and called Dot again. letting the phone ring I kinda half didn't want her to answer and half did. This was gonna be a shit conversation and Dot did not mince her words, no sir I was not gonna enjoy having to explain this one bit. The phone rang and rang, no reply. returning the phone to the cradle I collected my dime and went back to sit with Ma B and Pop. They were both sat together, trying to console each other.

"Richie, why did this happen to my son? what went so wrong for my son to end up fighting for his life?" her eye's pleaded with me for answers, answers I did not want to or have to give, this was Docs fault. Where the fuck was the Dr that had caused this fucking mess?. Who the fuck knew. bending down and taking Ma's hand I could not answer her directly, but simply held her hand and apologized again for the heartache she, no we could all be facing.

With tears in her eye's, she gently touched my face, "Richie, thank you, you are a good boy. thank you for being there for my Jonny, you are a good friend." tears still welled in her eyes, but somehow she managed to stop them spilling and rolling on to her cheeks. I smiled at Ma, and held her hand that little bit tighter.

Out of nowhere alarms started ringing and nurses and doctors ran from every direction and headed into Jon's room.

Dave, Tico and Alex all came out. They looked as white as sheets. letting go of Ma's hand I went over to the guys and asked them what had happened. Tico spoke, "Man, we dunno, we are sat talking to Jon, next thing his eye's shoot open and he starts ripping the lines outta his body, then he collapses again, out cold. man that was fucking scary."

Looking back at Ma and pa, they simply held each other closer and tighter there eye's as wide as saucers. We all watched the pandemonium taking place around Jon's bedside. Complete and utter craziness. I guess watching the nurses and Doctors trying to save Jon, no one saw or heard Doc McGhee, until he tapped me on my shoulder.

I spun round and he was the last person I expected to see stood there beside me. "How is he Richie?"

"he's having a party can't you see that? he's fucking fighting for his life you low life piece of shit?, how the fuck do you think he is?"

Ma raised from her seat next to pa and stood next to me. "Richie, who is this?"

"Ma, this is our no good fuck manager Doc McGhee."

"Is he the one that's responsible for my son being in hospital?" she spoke to me, but kept her eye's on Doc, eying him up.

"Yeah, he is ma"

"thank you Son." moving forward standing in front of me, Mrs B spoke to Doc. "Mr McGhee, let me start by thanking you so much for bringing my family together in the most horrendous way imaginable. Given what I am witnessing and what I have seen and heard, I am disgusted that you are known as a human being. how can you subject my son to have gone through what he has to make you money. you have no empathy, compassion understanding or morality in any one of your bones. Well Mr Doc McGhee, let me tell you what we” pointing to her husband,” do in situations like this. we all unite and fight, but.... and I mean but.... if anything should happen to my son, I will personally hunt you down and kill your muther fucking sorry ass, and I won't lose a nights sleep over it. you are the lowest of the low and my boy deserved better than some ass wipe like you..." raising from his seat, and standing next to ma, Pop got hold of Mrs B and hugged her and tried to console her, and asked a question directly at Doc.

"Why are you here?" before Doc could answer Pa, did it for him. "Don't tell me its because you care for my son?, nah your here because you need to make sure your golden boy survives to make you more money right?" at last Doc spoke,

"Mr Bongiovi, I am sorry for your son being in hospital. I hired the best Dr in the state of Vegas for your son. I am not a Dr and I don't profess to be. Jon, your Son, insisted on performing not me..." rage flared inside of me, Dave and Tico... I managed to get to him first.

"You lying son of a bitch, you fucking got your Dr to shoot Jon up every night so he would go out on stage and perform for you. how can you fucking lie. I told you Doc, you are fucking fired, we don't need you."

"I'm sorry Richie, but you are under contract to me, well actually Jon is under contract with me, you're just his hired hands, so, until Jon tells me I'm fired, I am still manager of this band, like it or not. " He stood there with a smug grin on his face.

Within in a instant the next thing we know Doc is lying flat on the floor with his nose blooded. I turned to see who, and saw that Pa had landed him one straight on the nose, bent over he spoke, "Well, Richie may not be a Bongiovi, but I fucking am, I am head of the Bongiovi family and now you have a issue cause this is personal between you and me. You are fired and what's more, I am gonna sue you for all your worth, I will make sure that no one else suffers at your hands, now getting your fucking ass off this floor and get the fuck outta my sight before I fucking kill you." Doc, for first time in his life looked scared and without another word he dragged his bones off the floor and outta the hospital.

Chapter One

Chapter one

"Quick, call 911, Jon, Jon, bud, c'mon wake up, Jon, Jesus Christ..... what the fuck have you given him huh? c'mon you son of a bitch tell? I swear to god if anything happens to him I will sue your fucking ass."
 Looking down at the motionless body of my best friend I stood over him feeling totally helpless. My rant aimed at our Manager Doc McGhee and the so called Dr who had been shooting different drugs and steroids into Jon's body while we were on tour.
Gavin one of the roadies, had called the emergency services, for now all we could do was pray to god he was alive and the services reached him in time.

Sorry I guess I should introduce myself first eh, my name is Richard Sambora,  or Richie to my buddies and fans; I play lead guitar in the rock band Bon Jovi, my buddy that is lying helpless on the floor is Jon Bon Jovi lead singer and who the band is named after.

We have been on the road performing to sell out shows all over the world for the last two years, tonight was our last show before our break.
God knows how long the break will be cos we honest to god are fucked off at the sight of each other.
Mental and physical exhaustion are the main reason's but there is more to it, but I don't think now is the time to go into that, the most important thing right now is Jon, yeah it is bad, let me explain a little into the life of the rock band Bon Jovi, maybe with a clear picture you can inject some sense into this performing circus and bullshit we have lived together and endured twenty four hours seven days a week?. 

During the tour Jon has suffered with his vocals and has been taking steroids to help him perform, I tell ya to the paying public there looked like there was nothing wrong. backstage, we saw the impact that has been thrown on his worn out body. Throwing up, not eating, not sleeping, collapses, tremors, bleeding, you name it we have witnessed it. yeah its terrifying. and no it's not the start of a Bon Jovi song, though maybe one day it will be. Our Manager Doc McGhee, is a slave driver, often heard telling Jon when we have had a real bad episode with his vocals tightening up,
"Quit whining Jonny, if ya want the fame, you gotta run with the big boys, and don't piss like a puppy." I'm gonna have that one engraved on the muther fuckers headstone.
Part of what he says is true, but the other is he is a callous fucker who only see's the dollar signs we are raking in for him.
Thing is Doc was taking a major cut of the Bon Jovi money machine and even though we had toured the world twice in 2 years, we; the band had little to show for it, just something else to piss us off. there we are working our butts off seven days a week, seeing nothing but hotel rooms and planes, no sight seeing; nothing, but each other for company, it kinda grinds on yer if ya get my meaning. I swear go try it? work your ass off for your boss, get no payment reward, don't see your family and wifes, girlfriends, boyfriends for two years and see how you interact with your boss?, if ya come back and tell me fine, man I will call you a fucking liar.  Yep, the daily grind of the Bon Jovi truck has finally ran out of gas, anyway, enough already, back to Jon, looking at him on the floor here, not a muscle has moved, he is grey in color too, man I hope those medics get here quick, it feels like forever already.
"Coming through, please make way, coming through."
"Sir can you hear me?"
"Who can tell me what has happened here?"
I spoke up given our Manager had suddenly lost his tongue and the so called Dr had disappeared.
"Yeah, our manager there has employed the services of a Dr to shoot Jon with steroids and other drugs to help his vocals, we have been on tour and Jon's chords are shot, but we had to keep going, tonight he just came of stage and collapsed. We have tried to wake him, but he aint responding so we called you guy's."
"What was the name of the drug that you have injected him with?" finally Doc found his voice again.
"Cortisone and anabolic steroids, is all's I know."
"Could you get the Dr?"
"Sure, Gav go find George."
The medics worked on Jon, they confirmed his heart was beating, but were concerned his other vitals were low and he was non responsive.
They rolled Jon onto a stretcher and before the Dr arrived they had lifted him and were taking him out to the Ambulance.
Gavin rushed back to Doc, whispering to him.
I saw red and flew in rage at Doc, "The muther fucker bastard has gone, aint he?"
"Take it easy Richie, do you think I would employ an amateur to look after you guys?, he's probably gone for cigarettes or something, I'm sure there is an explanation."
"Doc, you really don't wanna know my thoughts, and yeah I do think you would get some Doc that aint qualified or has been struck off cos it means saving you money, you are a tight ass fucker, all you see with us is money. Well I tell ya no more, we are through with you. so get your stuff and get the fuck outta our sights, but know this, if you have caused any serious damage to Jonny, I mean it man I will sue your fucking fat ass."  making my point, I went outback and joined Jon in the ambulance. On route I made notes of whom to call, did I ring Dottie Jon's wife or his Mom, tough call.

Minutes later we arrived at Robert Wood Johnson Wood University Hospital, New Brunswick, NJ. 
pushing me out of the way the medics took Jon straight into ICU.
Before anything else I had to find a payphone and make Jon's family aware of what had gone down. Finding the payphone I made the call to Mrs B first, then tried  ringing Dottie. She did not answer and I did not wanna leave bad news on the answer phone, so I hung up. Mrs B was the first to arrive. she told me she had tried getting hold of Dot too but could not reach her yet.
Mrs B, looked drained and she was scared to death that her son in her words had been shooting drugs.
I don't know why, but fuck I felt guilty at that moment. I could not answer Mrs B so stood but said nothing.
As for the fucking so called Dr that had been pumping Jon's body full of the drugs, he never did return.
Now all we could do was stand and wait for news good or bad, a worried Mom and Pop and me, waiting for news on Jon..... united in our fight that Jon would be ok.....

Chapter 2

We all stood there waiting in the waiting room .. for word on Jon. I couldn't stop pacing all I kept seeing was my best friend, my brother laying on the floor of the stage not moving barely breathing. I bit on my nail as I paced back and forth the guys hadn't arrived yet I didn't even know if they were coming. I was just going to make another circle around the waiting room chairs where Ma sat with her head bent praying when a man in a white coat came out holding a clipboard in his hand.

“family for Jon Francis Bongiovi?” His voice was clear and distinct. He had graying hair at his temples and wore glasses. He had a serious look on his face this did not bode well for news on my best friend's condition.

Momma B stood up “ that's my son...” She reached out to grab my hand as if to give her strength. “how is my boy..”

“follow me please..” he held the door open for the three of us. He looked at me and raised an eyebrow but didn't say anything. We were taken down a hall as he talked. “your son is serious condition right now. He was brought here he was unresponsive his blood pressure was Extremely low... a fever of a 103 and low respiration.... “ he sighed “to put it bluntly ma’am his body is trying to shut down he's extremely underweight for a young man his age … and height … he's running on nothing...he's dehydrated ” he continued to elaborate just how bad Jon was. With each word I could feel Ma shaking.

“God damn Doc..” was all I could say as we were escorted into the small cubicle. I froze in the door staring at the bed. Now Dave and I do tease Jon about his height compared to ours, nicknames like shorty .. and little fuck … were just something we did. But staring at him now twisted my guts. Jon usually had a larger than life presence but its all smoke and mirrors, looking at the small figure in the bed all I wanted to do was back away. Jon was propped up against a mound of pillows his long hair pushed back from his face, a clear blue mask was laying over his face taking up most of his features. His complexion on the stage had been almost gray now he looked as white as the sheets on the bed. God Jon looked so tiny in the huge bed, the monitor over his head beating out his slow heart beat. What was scary is I have been to the hospital I know what an Iv is but they usually put it in your arm your hand … but Jon's wasn't. It went under his hospital gown.

His doctor noticed me looking “We couldn’t find a vein for the IVs … so we had to do a central line … its why his IV’s in his chest. He's still not conscious I am afraid … we are running tests to see what else might be wrong...”

Pop moved to the bed holding ma's hand. He lifted the hand on blankets running his fingers over the long fingers of my best friend. “how did this happen...” He turned to me. “Richie … how the hell did this happen...” He was careful not to hit the little node on Jon's finger as he held his hand. “how did my son get into this condition...”

I closed my eyes god I wish it hadn't laid on me to answer this. I wished Jon would wake up and talk to his own parents. Yet as I watched my unconscious best friend I knew he wasn't going to. I watched as he breathed in and out the condensation beading up inside the mask. “I don't know what to tell you pop...” I looked at Jon's parents. “I honest to fuckin god don't know …. just know that I got rid of Doc … “ I shook my head. “But one thing I do have to tell you JON didn't inject the shit they kept pumping him with .. himself... no .. the damn fuckin doctor that Doc hired did. I should have kept a closer eye on him or questioned what the hell the guy was up to but I didn't.” I looked back at Jon and swallowed. “All I can say is I am sorry ...”

The doctor turned to Mom and Pop. “right now we are keeping your son into the ICU he will be monitored very closely hopefully once we have a ore concrete idea of what's going on with him ….we will be able to treat him. Currently we are trying to flush his system of the toxins... in his blood stream namely the steroids...” he leaned down to check a bag hanging from Jonny's bed. We all could tell what that bag contained from the color.

I swallowed “will he be alright...” I hated seeing Jon iike this. I should have watched everything better. Now my best friend was basically fighting for his life. I went to the other side of the bed taking the other hand. We sat there for hours with him once or twice once the guys arrived they would come in and sit for a second or two.

We had to keep it down to only two to three in the room as Jon was still in ICU.