Chapter 38

Richie stayed with me through the whole session till lunch, as I was taken back to my room by Terri, and she left to go fetch my lunch he sat on the day chair. His head looking into his hands, when he looked up he had tears in his eye's.
"What's up?"
"You man,?"
"What?, "
"You are amazing, your fight, will, determination, you amaze me Jon. I watched you, hell no, I've  been with you through this maze to hell; Man most men would have just said enough and curled up and died, but no not you; through everything, you have kept the will, and your spirit alive and carried on, man, I just gotta tell ya, I am real proud of you."

I sat there listening, for once in my life I was totally speechless.
I thought about what he had said, and the honest to god truth was, Richie had helped me through all of this, and when we were on tour.

He was the one that had challenged me, Doc and Manning when they were pumping me with the steroids, only he had the balls to tell me and them; what he thought, sure the guy's in the band added in their voices too, but none had the conviction to stand their ground as Rich did.

Truth be known, Richie was the reason I had this spirit and fight, he gave me the reason, the strength and the will to get through all of this; thing is, I had only just realised it too. my reply was a mumbled "thanks man."

Looking out of the window it was a beautiful sunny day, and I longed to take some fresh air, it was the perfect opportunity to change the subject too and lighten the mood.

"Hey, fancy taking me out for some fresh air?"
"Sure, but what about your lunch?"
"I'm not that hungry, but with a day this gorgeous I need to suck some air into these stale old lungs...C'mon live a little?" I gave Rich the famous Bongiovi smile.
"Ok, but when Terri gets back with ya lunch, you can eat it outside ok?"
"Ok."

Minutes later Terri walked through the door, carrying my lunch in a bowl. " So what gives guy's, what's with the smiles?, I feel as though I have walked in on something."
"Yeah kinda, Jon here wants his lunch outside on the bench, you ok with that if I take him?"
"Sure, no reason why not, but make sure he eats all his lunch, the afternoon session is gonna be even harder, Deal?"
"Deal"
"Er, Terri, you can talk to me direct ya know, I am here, I am not a kid." I was feeling pretty pissed, why was everyone else making decisions about what I could and could not do, why couldn't they just  speak to me, instead of over me.

Terri looked at me, I shook her with my outburst, "I'm sorry Jon, but I was told by your Dr to use every person close to you, to make you stay on the line.
"What Dr would that be Terri?"
there was danger in my voice, and she replied with a trembling voice "Dr-Dr Kohn"
"And how the fuck does Dr Kohn know what I will and will not do, having never met me prior to me being admitted..." My temper was rising the angrier I got.
Terri straightened her back, and stood straight, then walked over and put my lunch on the trolley tray before me, and spoke.
"Maybe that question should be directed to Dr Kohn, and not to me, I carry out orders. my objective is to get you well and that is what I am trying to do. I will leave and let you have your lunch I will be back here at 1.30pm to take you for your afternoon session." as she finished her sentence, she spun on her heels and left the room.
"The fucking...."
"Jon, easy bud, it's as much my fault as it was terri's, ease up a little eh."
"Ease up?, Rich for months all I have been told is do this, do that, don't do this, don't do that, I've had enough... I am 28 years of fucking age Rich, I can make my own decisions..."
before I knew it Rich had responded and for the second time today left me speechless...
"Can you? really?, ummm I beg to differ Jon, your arrogance and stupidity put you in hospital in the first place. I aint one to rake over the past, but you abused your body for months, despite us all begging ya to stop?, steroids and you are to blame for this nightmare Jon, not the Dr's, and truth time bud, you are a real fucking pain in the ass at times, so my last piece of advice for you, just keep your fucking opinions to yourself, crack on and shut the fuck up, got it?"
in silence I nodded at Rich as he put my soup and bread roll on my knee and pushed me outside as I had wanted.

Walking down the hallway, I spoke and broke the building tension between Rich and I. "I'm sorry Rich, your right, it's just I hate being treated like a child, and this whole thing is really getting to me."
"no shit, I would never have guessed," his response was light-hearted, with a serious tone added,
"But you really need to apologise to Terri"
"Yeah, I know and I will"
"Soon as we get back right?"
"Yes pop,"
He punched my playfully on my arm. "Alrighty then. "so where do you wanna park up?" We were outside at last and the sun was warm on my face, I took in the air filling my lungs and pointed to a bench by a sycamore tree, it was the perfect spot.
He pushed me forward and stopped where I asked, then he sat down next to me, while I ate the now luke warm chunky vegetable soup and roll.

With all the tension broke between us, we sat in silence and listened to mother nature and the birds tweeting and singing, and the noise that could just be heard from the road with the traffic going by,  it was peaceful and really serene and beautiful, I'd happily have stayed there for the afternoon but with my lunch finished it was time to head back inside and start the afternoon run.

Back in my room Terri re entered, "Lunch done?"
"Done," I raised my bowl and demonstrated it was empty again.  as she went to take the bowl I caught her wrist, she looked down at me. "Terri, I am sorry for earlier, forgive me?"
she smiled at me, "Sure, and I am sorry too, fresh start for us both?"  "Yeah fresh start."
She left with the bowl then returned straight after, "So ready and fighting for the next round Jon?"
"Yeah, bring it on..." as we entered the room, I took in the apparatus in the room, the bars was where we had been in the morning , this time Terri took me over to the bars with steps. "Omg, seriously?"
I looked back at her.
"Yep seriously, I told you this afternoon would be tough," then she added, "But f anyone can do it, you can..."
Rich was at my side still, "C'mon bro, be strong, I'm with ya."
Filling my lungs with air, I psyched myself ready for the afternoon onslaught.

Chapter 37

The guy who helped me into the van was nice the tag on his shirt stating his name was Thomas. My mom and dad had been there earlier but now it was just me heading to the centre. Dorothea was going to drive down there to meet me. Almost an hour later we were pulling into a large driveway looking out the window I was shocked to see that it was not what I thought. I had expected a tall building looking like a hospital but it was anything but. There was gardens and benches around outside patients siting with their families. “maybe this place wasn't going to be as bad as I thought. I was taken to my room granted it still looked like a hospital room there but not too bad. I had a large picture window that looked out on the grounds, D came into the room and started to put my things away. “it will be okay Jon.. we will get through this … it won't be so bad … this place is one of the best out there the sooner you get back on your feet the sooner you can come home..” She kissed my cheek.

“I know D and I promised Richie and my parents I would do whatever the doctors here say to do...” I let the nurse help me into the chair by the bed. She introduced herself as Terry and would be my day nurse. The introductions were done and I met my Doctor. Doctor Kohn was a strict female doctor. She had my plan set out and I was ready to start that day but was told to get used to the place first and the next day would start the hell that was physical therapy, and I had no idea why but, I was looking forward to it.

 

Next morning I was woken by my day nurse, she brought with her a bowl of oatmeal for breakfast and some OJ, as she placed the breakfast on my trolley she spoke,

"Good Morning Jon, did you sleep well?"

"Yeah, I guess," I shifted in the bed and pushed myself so I was sitting up right.

"What's that?"

"Is this a trick question?" she smiled at me as she asked,

"No, I mean I really don't like oatmeal.... Do I really have to eat that?" I screwed my nose up as I asked the question. the oatmeal sat there looking the most uninviting breakfast I had ever seen, you would get given better in jail.

"Yes you do, and its because you have a lot of hard work ahead of you today, Oatmeal has the right amount of vitamins and its a carb which means it will release sugars into your blood evenly throughout the morning, ...... " she looked at me and laughed as she continued.... "and its Docs orders."

I smiled back, my lips and nose still curled at the thought of having to digest the gloop in front of me.

"Hey, I can add some syrup if that helps to make it sweeter for you?"

I nodded anything would be better than what I was looking at.  

Terri disappeared to go get the syrup, I picked up the OJ and took a sip, the sweet bitterness was surprisingly refreshing to taste, I took another sip.

Terri returned with the oatmeal, it was still hot and as she placed it in front of me she placed her hands on her hips and stood watching.

"What? your gonna stand and watch over me?"

"Eh huh, Dr's orders,"

"Your kidding me right?"

"No, I saw your face jon, we are serious, we want to get you back on your feet and to do that you are gonna have to do and eat things that you don't normally, but its all for a good reason, to get you home."

"I get it Terri, I do, true I aint a fan of Oatmeal, but I promise you I will eat it, please give me the trust, I won't let you down?...."

I studied her face, and she studied mine.

"Ok, I'll give you half an hour ok?"

"I nodded back at her and took the spoon in my hand and took my first mouthful of the oatmeal breakfast. Surprisingly it slid down past my feeding tube easily and was not as bad to taste as I thought.

I was mid way through when a familiar voice spoke, " so spent my $100 bucks yet?"

I looked up and saw Richie in the doorway.

"Hey Rich,... no I aint been anywhere yet.... but I will really enjoy it when I do."

"He smiled at me as he came over and sat on the chair next to the bed.

"What's that?"

"Oatmeal...it's not that bad really...."

"not for me, but hey, if its good, nice to see you eating."

"It's not my choice," I put on an exaggerated voice, "It's Dr's orders..." just as Terri came back into the room with my sweat pants and tee, sneakers and socks....

"You poking fun at me Jon?" she asked with tease in her voice,

I went red, and mumbled my reply, "Er no, course not," quickly I introduced Richie .... "Terri this is Richie, my...."

"Hey, yeah no need for introductions I know who you are," she extended her hand and greeted Richie. He smiled back and said the right things you say when meeting someone too, "nice to meet ya Terri. So you looking after my man here?"

"Yeah, I'm his day carer, or nurse, what ever you wanna call me."

"Great, well take it easy on him for a while ok, he has had a few real tough months..."

"That's the last thing we are gonna do, he's here to get mobile and get back on his feet, this is the last stop saloon and going easy on our guy's aint gonna get us anywhere..."

Terri did not hold back and made it clear what was her job and that she was good at what she did and Richie was not gonna persuade her otherwise.  

"Alright, jeez I was only asking..."

"That's fine, but if ya wanna help your man here, then get with the programme..." she turned to face me, " all done Jon?"

"I nodded my head and smiled then held up the bowl see all gone.."

"Terri relaxed a little, well done, good start, right I'll clear these away then be back to help you shower and dress, Richie do you wanna hang around for his first session?"

nervously he answered, "Yeah if that's ok?"

"Sure, follow me I'll take you to the day room until Jon is ready to go to rehab room 1, then i'll fetch you."

Richie raised his hand, "see ya in a few bro..."

I smiled and raised mine back, "That's you will Rich, that you will..." I had focused my mind and had settled on doing whatever it was I needed to do to get well as fast as possible and walk out of this place, to get back to my family, and back to Bon Jovi.....

 

 

Chapter 36

Apr 9 at 7:11 PM

She took me back to my room where I set by the window moving my legs up and down in exercises that the physical therapist had told me to do. It would help strengthen my leg muscles so I could take more weight right now they only worked with me on the double bars I hoped to move to a walker soon. It might sound funny a twenty eight year old man looking forward to using a walker but the closer it got to the walker closer to crutches and closer to walking on my own. Then dancing around the stage again. I would get frustrated when they would have me only walk one or two steps and then bring me back even though I was exhausted I wanted to do more but they kept telling me if I did I could hurt myself. I just wanted to get this done get back on my feet and go home. I looked over as my tray was brought in the other problem the doctor was having with me is I had no appetite Doctor Markus said that was something that was normal. The meds that I had to take to keep from rejecting my kidney killed my appetite they were working on it but it still made it hard for me to eat or have any interest in food they brought in. Add in the food was downright disgusting looking. My mom offered to bring some of her homemade cooking in but Doctor Markus told her that it had to wait as since I had gone from eating so little while on tour and eating what they had in here whatever she made was just too rich for my stomach. Doctor Markus hadn't removed the feeding tube I had gotten when I had been at deaths door so it helped a bit not that I liked it that much. It was uncomfortable at points but it filled its purpose. I asked him a couple times when it would be removed he told me once I started eating better and I gained at least twenty five pounds. Which brought me back to forcing myself to eat what was on my tray that was brought in. Thankfully today was soup and sandwiches with some chips. After I finished my lunch I went back to working on the notepad. I had almost a full pad of songs already wrote down.

The other thing that had been on my mind was the trial though my parents and Richie didn't think I knew too much about it I did. Granted I had been not in the best of health when it all came about with the arrests but still I knew that Richie would probably have to testify I was assured by my pop I wouldn't as all the signed papers put tell to that. That and I was not well enough to be dealing with the stress as my doctor put it. I went back to writing. ….

A week later the nurses were all having a small farewell party for me. I was to be going to the Ortho Center which was about forty minutes away from my home. D had came to see me and helped me get ready to go. She had been there by my side the whole time quite and assuring. I loved my wife with all my heart and I had put her through hell this year I promised her as they got me ready to go that I would work hard to get back on my feet. Her hand brushing through my new hair cut. I had asked my pop to cut my hair for me as being in the hospital my hair gotten longer than I had ever thought. It was now shorter than it had been with bangs over my eyes and just a but above the collar of my shirt. It was a lot easier to take care of that was for sure. Dressed in blue jeans and a sweatshirt with keds on my feet setting in a wheelchair waiting for me ride to get there. The Center was sending a van to get me as it was just policy. I had thought I would be going via my parents or someone but nope. I took a deep breath as it arrived ready to start on the next step of getting myself on my feet.

Chaper 35

It had taken Richie fourteen days to recover from his blood poisoning, my body was getting better and the day release trips to rehab were going well, I could at least now hold my own body weight. walking, well one step at a time as they say.
Dr Markus gave me the ok to go down to see rich as he was leaving hospital again today, his op site had now practically healed over so should not cause him any problems, but like with everything he had to take it easy. In my hands was the pad Rich had bought for me, now half full with songs I had wrote, Rich had agreed to go and stay again with my mom and dad, but told them they had to let him do his own thing and not fuss over him so much. Ma struggled to follow the rules but pop made her agree, how? he simply pointed out he was a grown man and did not need smothering.

so here we are present time, and I am about to enter my best buds room and say good bye to him, a week from today I was being moved to the intensive rehab clinic 40 minutes away from home, and I really was not looking forward to it, but understood if I wanted out of the place it was the only way, so biting my tongue I agreed to do whatever Dr Markus asked of me, and Richie too. We had big plans for Bon Jovi, without the guys in the band would be like extracting all the air from my lungs, or well I might as well be dead.

Lainey pushed me through the door and across to Richie who was sat in his day chair, his back to me, looking out across at the lawns and gardens in the hospital grounds, he was waiting on a cab to call and collect him. He insisted he would make his own way to my ma and pa's house, or it was no deal.
"hey you, ready to go?"
he turned his head to look at me and smiled before he spoke,
"Hell yeah, man your looking well," he got up from his chair and came over and gave me a big hug.
"Man you seriously need to get a hair cut, you resemble a sheep dog,"
I looked at the ends of my long mane, it was not looking good, and honestly it was the last thing that I had thought of until Richie mentioned it, now he had I would ask my pop to cut it next time he was in visiting.
"Yeah, I guess it does look bad, I'll get it sorted, maybe go short what ya say to that sambora?"
"Yeah, like you'll give up your mane?, believe it when I see it man"
"ok, bets on, how much?"
"you serious?"
"Sure, how much"
"$100 bucks"
"your on, so what time ya leaving......" I held my head down trying to hold back the tears, "I'm gonna miss ya man"
" soon as the cab arrives, driver knows he has to call to reception to get me."
" you crying?"
I wiped my face and tried to laugh it off, but Rich knew me too well, he lifted my chin,
"Don't be sad bro, I'll be back to visit, I've got some songs to write too, you are half a pad ahead of me, just keep the faith, ok?"
through my falling tears I managed a smile, but no one knew how lonely it was day in day out, for the last seven day's Rich had brought meaning back into my life and existence, it reminded me of our younger days meeting in the basement of his mom's home, and us jamming and fooling around together, now what I was used to was being taken away again.

Lainey knocked on his door, "Richie, cab is here for you."
he looked at her and smiled, "Thanks' tell him I'll be there in a minute,"
Lainey agreed and went to tell the driver to wait.
"So, this is me,"
"Yep, and next time you visit, your gonna see a new me too."
"I better I've got $100 bucks riding on it.... " he laughed a deep belly laugh, something I had not heard in forever, the problems of the last tour were a million years ago. We had re bonded as friends, but now more as brothers. I guess what happened had to happen for us to reach this point in time. I know it's corny but, I was happy to be where we were.
"So, give me a day then your next coming, give me the chance to at least win something?"
"No way Bongiovi, why should I make it easy for you?, you said next time I see you... and i'm holding you to it..."
"Hey no fair, you know I need my pop to do it?"
"Yeah, and he's no doubt coming in with your ma sometime today?"
"I guess, hey, you going to my folks place right?"
"Oh no, I'm not helping ya win"
"but you don't know what I am gonna ask yet?"
"Yeah I do, you want me to ask your pop to bring his comb and scissors?, well forget it Giovi not happening...man you are so sneaky..."
the banter we shared was good, and I loved it. reluctantly I ended it so as to let him get moving.
"ok, well take care of you ok?, and get writing, you have a lot of catching up to do."
He reached down again and for the last time gave me a hug. pulling back he asked,
"You good then?"
"I'm good, now go"
he collected his bag from the bed, and smiled at me as he left the room, I pushed myself over to the door and watched him get his discharge papers from the desk for the second time, the cab driver took his bag and he waved as he walked across to the elevator. I sat watching until the elevator doors closed. then talking to myself I said. " take care bro, and hurry back to see me"

I sat thinking to myself lost in thought when Lainey arrived to take me back to my room.
"You ok?"
"yeah I'm fine, thanks,"
"So, you thought about what you want for your lunch?"
"Food?, no why?"
"Cause, you wanna get outta here now don't ya, especially as Rich is gone."
"Well yeah course I do."
"Well start showing an interest in food, and start working harder Jon, then you will be home and back to living a normal life in no time, and for the record I aint telling ya what to do, just giving ya some friendly advice. You and Richie amaze me, you know that?"
"Thank for the tip, and in what way do we amaze you?"
"Your friendship, in all my years I have never seen to men as close as you two, it really is like you are blood brothers.... it's incredible..."
I smiled to myself, Lainey was right, the relationship we shared was incredible and I thanked god for being given the second chance to keep building on it.

Chapter 34

I lay in my bed wondering where Richie was. He had said he was going to come see me today he had been staying with my parents since he got discharged.  It was quite boring sitting here in the hospital doing nothing, Okay scratch nothing, since I had started to get better, but not much, still on my way to recovery my phsyio therapists had started me on some exercises to strengthen my muscles.
It was scary really to see myself I had gone from a robust guy weighing in at 150 to barely that. I was going to have to work hard to get back up to healthy weight and muscle.

I was just working on the rubber band's when Lainey came into the room. I'd had a bath already and my medication too; so I wasn't sure what she was there for. “hey... just waiting for Richie to come in...”

Her face went from smiling to sad. “he's not coming in today … Jon...”

I frowned this time to myself. “what do you mean he's not … he called only this morning to tell me that he was coming in to see me... you brought me the message?” my heart thudded in my chest something was wrong it was written all over her face. “Lainey what's wrong?”

She sighed as if she didn't want to tell me but would anyway. 

“He was coming to see you when he was checking in with me,  He was in a lot of pain Jon.... Doctor Markus has readmitted him he's got a bad infection where the surgery site is.....”

I sat up faster than I thought, “I want to see him...”

“Jon you are supposed to be resting … and he's sick its not good for you to be ...”

“Lainey he risked his life for mine so I could live .. the least I could so is go see him please help me do that …. please.... I'll do whatever you want I just need to see him... have you called my parents...”

“ yes, they have been called, and so has Richie's … they should be here soon..." Lainey, c'mon give me a break eh, after all Rich has done for me, your rules I swear I'll be good..." I smiled the famous Jon Bon Jovi smile,
" alright Jon but if I take you to see him you need to wear a mask cause we can't risk you catching anything … AND you have to stay in the wheelchair and let me push you … and when I say its time for you to go back to your room NO arguments... Got it!!! ”
"Got it!" 

Twenty minutes later I was in a robe with a white mask over my face heading in the
wheelchair down to Richie's room.
The door opened and Richie was laying on his side sleeping. He looked so pale not like my
best friend. My heart lurched with guilt this was MY fault … if he hadn't had to have surgery
for me he wouldn't be sick like this. I leaned forward slightly wincing but wrapped my fingers
around Richie's long ones. “I'm here man.... damn it Richie ..” I whispered.

 

My mind was in a whirl, but I had to know, "Lainey, is Rich laying here cause of what he did for me?, he looks real bad..."

She looked at me, and thought long and hard before she replied. "The infection has broke through the surgery site and caused an infection in his blood, but for most patients having the same type of op, nothing like this occurs, Richie has been outside, in the open air and there are viruses and stuff that just look for openings, and with him having an operation his immune system will be weaker."
"So, if he had not had the op he would have been fine, so it is my fault."
"Jon, it's no-one's fault, it's just circumstance, at least he's in the best place, We will take good care of him."
"But,..."
"no but's Jon, Richie was not forced to give you his kidney, he did it out of choice and kinship, now is the whole visit going to be about who's to blame or are we gonna focus on getting him better?"
I nodded my head, Lainey made sense and since everything that had happened to me, all I could see was a negative outlook. I really struggled to see any positives, Richie was my best friend, hell he was my brother, he had sacrificed himself to save me. Yeah, I know it sounds dramatic but it's facts. I looked at Lainey, "what can I do"  she was stood by the basin filling his water pitcher, looking back at me she answered, " talk to him, let him know you are there"
I nodded my head, then unwrapping my fingers around his fingers, I took his hand and held it in mine, "Cmon bro, open your eyes, talk to me, I love you man..."
He moved, not much, but a little, beads of sweat nestled in his brow, he frowned, showing he was in pain, then slowly, very slowly his brown eye's opened and locked on to mine.
"Hey,"
"Hey yourself, what's with getting re admitted eh?, miss me that much, my ma's cooking that bad?"
he smiled, and cleared his throat, wincing in pain as he did, "Nah man, it was Lainey I missed"
Lainey was stood at the basin still, Richie had no idea she was in the room, I looked over at her, she looked down at her feet, her face was crimson in colour. composing herself She turned back to face Richie's back and brought his water pitcher and placed it on the tray trolley, then walking round to where I was sitting in my chair holding Rich's hand she spoke, "that's real nice to know Rich, but you could have asked me on a date instead, this is way to extreme don't cha think?"
Richie looked at her and this time it was his turn to go red, "I,er, sorry, I really didn't mean to embarrass you, I er..."
Lainey laughed, "hey its totally fine, that's twice you have flattered me, listen I will be out at the station, Jon, you have fifteen minutes ok, then I'll be back to get you."
I nodded at Lainey. Rich then butted in, "Hey Lainey, so when I am all fixed how about coming out for dinner with me?"
Standing in the doorway she answered, "Yeah, I'd love to." then still smiling she left the room.
"how bout that, eh Jon?"
"how bout you being back in here?, what happened?"
"I dunno, I was fine this morning, told ya ma that my pain was below zero, then I took a slow walk to the cab company, caught a cab, and bam, it hit me like a tornado, and now I'm here."
"Man I'm sorry, if ya hadn't had the op you'd be fine."
"Stop already Jon, its cool, ok, I chose to help you, it's just one of those things alright."
"Yeah, but its facts bro, if..."
"Jon, seriously bro stop ok?, it's happened lets just concentrate on getting us back to normal eh, so we can concentrate on the band."
I listened to what he was saying, he didn't blame me, so I had to stop blaming myself. in my head another song was taking shape, at this rate i'd have a whole album before I left hospital.
"So what you thinking on?"
"nothing much, just got the lyrics to a song pounding away at my brain."
"Yeah?, check my closet I bought a pad and pens for you, I've wrote a track too, see what ya think."
"i'll get Lainey to fetch it when she comes back in. Rich Thanks man, I love ya."
his eyes were heavy and he started to tremble, but managed to reply, "I love ya too bro." his face then contorted in pain and he cried out, I grabbed the bell and pressed, in seconds Lainey was in the room."
"What's wrong with him Lainey, he was fine? I don't understand.."
"Its fine, Jon... look I need to take you outside ok?"
Lainey moved me quickly just as Dr Markus went in to tend to Richie. What had happened now?"
It seemed like forever, but Dr Markus came out of his room, he had beads of sweat on his brow and a concerned look on his face.
"Is he ok Dr?"
"Yeah, hes stable for now."
"What happened Doc?"
"He is allergic to Penicillin."
"We have him on Amoxiclavin now instead, that should be ok, but we have to monitor him to be sure. What are you doing here anyway Jon?"
"i was visiting"
"Were you?, who gave you permission?"
"I begged Lainey to bring me."
"Jon, until Richie is out of the woods and the infection has cleared you are not to be anywhere near him, your early into recovery, we don't want anymore problems, got it?"
I hung my head and nodded, Dr Markus called Lainey over, "Nurse Powner, A word please."
I watched as it was obvious she was being scalded for bringing me to see Rich, it was not right. I had to speak.
"hey Doc, please don't lay in to Lainey, it was all me, really,"
"thank you Jon, but please leave this to me." just like that he blanked me. when he was through he walked off, and Lainey came over to take me back to my room.
"I'm sorry. I did not want you to get into trouble."
"its ok, I should have known better, and Jon, no more Jon Bon Jovi smiles ok?"
"ok, will rich be ok?"
"Doc thinks so, but we will have to wait and see."
"You will keep me informed won't ya?"
"Course I will."
stopping at my room door, she opened it and pushed me inside, helped me out of the chair and into the arm chair at the side of my bed.
"Right, you comfortable?"
"Yeah, i'm good, can I ask one thing?"
"Sure"
"Richie said he has brought a pad and some pens infor me, he thinks they are in his closet, could you fetch them for me?"
She nodded, "ok, but it wont be till the end of my shift."
"Thanks."
As Lainey left my room I sat thinking about Richie and for the umpteenth time since being in hospital I prayed real hard for both Rich and me, Bon Jovi could not be done with yet could it?"



 

  

Chapter 33

Being early morning the traffic into the city was slow, I sat in the back of the cab and watched people going about their business, people shuffling along to get to their jobs, shopping or meeting friends. I'd never really paid this much attention before, and it kinda struck something inside me.

Being a musician you kind of take it for granted that life moves at an easy pace, well apart from being on tour when things are manic, but tours last for a year or two at most, these people I was watching did the same things day in day out, I could not imagine for one second what it was like to hold a regular job. I was so pleased I could do what I loved. 

We were sat stationary in traffic for over thirty minutes, and really I could of walked to the hospital, but my side was a aching a little and I promised Ma not to over do it, and with only four days left before I could return to my own home I was not going to get my stay at The Bongiovi's extended.

I sat back and soon enough the cab starting moving and ten minutes later he pulled up outside the hospital, I took the drivers card so could call and book a return cab when I wanted to head home, out of the cab I paid my fare and gave a tip and headed into the hospital. 

As i walked the pain in my side was causing me to wince a little, as the elevator arrived I got on and pressed number six, which was Jon's floor.

We arrived in seconds, getting off before checking in and heading to see my bud, I needed to take some pain killers. I knew where the bathrooms were and went in that direction, down the hallway and turning left I walked into the mens restroom.
They were empty, no  one was using the room, I was grateful, normally as soon as I am recognised I'm asked for autographs and stuff, let me be clear when I'm feeling fine I really don't mind  but today, well I don't know but I was not up to seeing my fans, in my heart I now did not feel like seeing anybody, for some reason I wanted to be home in bed.

I pulled at the paper cups and got some drinking water, checking my pockets I took out my pain killers and opening the bottle I Shook two into my palm and took them with the water. 

I Swallowed hard, and hoped the pain would ease real quick, it was intense, moving to the full size mirror on the restroom wall I lifted my shirt and removed the dressing a little, it was red and sore.

Only two hours previous the pain was under zero, now it was riding at a nine, i re stuck the dressing and moved to the basin and faucet, running the water I splashed myself with cool water, face dripping I leaned my arms on the basin and looked at my reflection in the mirror, it was evident I was in pain it was etched over my face. I stood leaning and gently breathing in and out until the worse of the pain had subsided, enough for me to feel better. 

leaving the restroom I went out to the nurses station to report in and go see Jon.

I made a note to myself to take things much easier from now on and rest was still needed. I concluded Ma knew more than I did, walking slowly to the nurses desk, I felt guilty now for being the jerk  I was to them both, now I could see they only ever had my best intentions in their hearts. 

At the nurses station Lainey was behind the desk, as I approached she looked up and smiled at me, then her face turned to concern, "Richie, are you ok?" Truth be known I was in agony, my breathing became rapid as I tried to answer, acting fast Dr Markus was paged, the other nurse went and got a wheel chair, gratefully I sat down, my breathing became more ragged and I felt cold and shivery, what was wrong with me. 

The Dr arrived in minutes, everyone was rushing round, my vitals were checked, blood taken, I didn't fight them as I was too weak, eventually Doc Markus spoke to me,
"Richie, you a serious blood infection,  its called scepticema, I need you to be admitted for 48 hours, we need you on a intraveneous antibiotic drip, no arguments ok? it's serious and we need to keep a close watch on you,  nurse ill leave him with you"

I nodded my head to weak to argue, did my walk cause this?, my mind was wondering and I was in and out of consciousness. when I awoke, I was in a hospital gown and in my old room in my old hospital bed.  

I thought everything was healing fine, what had I done.........that was my last thought as I drifted out of consciousness again. 

Chapter 32

Settled at Ma and Pa's home, they looked after me without a doubt, but I could not move without one or the other checking up on me, I had been with them ten days and it felt like 10 months. When I woke this morning I was determined I was gonna get out of the house and get some fresh air alone, even if it killed me. I showered then dressed after checking my scar; it was getting better and so was the pain, you know when the Dr's ask you on a scale of one to ten,  with ten being the worst, how the pain is? well, my pain was 0.1, un countable, to where it was two weeks ago.

 

All dressed I checked my reflection in the mirror, satisfied I looked ok I headed down stairs to grab a coffee and something to eat, and to say good morning to my hosts.

As I walked down the stairs, breakfast smells reached my senses and I could not help breathing in the delicious smell of the cooking bacon, turning the corner I walked into the kitchen and saw Ma stood at the stove, she did not see me, so I spoke first, "morning Ma"
"Oh, morning Richie, how are you feeling today?"
"I'm good thanks, that sure smells good ma"
"Sit, its nearly ready."
I did as commanded and a plate of bacon, and eggs  was put before me, with a cup of coffee.
"Ma, you're the best"
She smiled
"I enjoy looking after you."
Pa walked into the kitchen having been out in the yard pegging ma's washing on the clothes line for her, watching them interact they were each others ying and yang, and really fit each other comfortably like a pair of worn gloves. Pa washed his hands and sat at the table, and ma placed his breakfast in front on him.
"Good morning son, sleep well?"
"Morning Pa, yeah as always"
"How ya feeling?"

Inside I wanted to scream, our conversations were not interesting at all, but the god damn questions were intense. and always involved how I was feeling,  I held back and just smiled and replied.
"I'm good, thanks, you?"

"Oh, fair I'd say, but with ma's great breakfast I'll be more than good." he winked at ma as he spoke the last word. Ma smiled at him and turned back to continue with her own breakfast.

"So ma and me were thinking, how about a trip to the beach today, a lil bit of sunshine to restore your ol bones, whadda ya say?"

I could feel my internal radar wanting to scream out, "JUST LET ME ALONE ALREADY" but I bit down on my tongue and replied calmly.

"err, possibly not a great idea pa, my scar is still healing, last thing I need is to get Sand into the wound and get an infection, but hey, why don't you and ma go, I don't wanna put a damper on your plans."

I waited, hoping, no praying I did not have to tell them what I wanted to do, and that I wanted to be alone.

Ma spoke, "Oh, John, we can't go off enjoying ourselves when Richie needs us."

"Ma, I'm fine, you go, really have a great time."

Ma sat down, but eyed me suspiciously, I took a deep breath and decided to start with compliments, that way I could add in to the conversation about my plans for the day. 

"Ma, this bacon is delicious, you are a great cook."
"Aw you flatter me," still she eyed me carefully, taking time eating her own breakfast, while studying my expression.
The nervous feeling in the pit of my stomach was summersaulting in knots, I tried to avoid eye contact cause one things for sure, you could not pull the wool over ma's eye's she was a shrewd cookie make no mistake. I guess its a parent's radar. finally she spoke,

"Ok, out with it son, what's wrong?"
"Nothings wrong ma, I mean it, you are a great cook and make the best breakfast in New Jersey" I smiled my best smile.
"huh huh, not buying it sambora, give"
"What?"
"What it is your working up to saying?, Son I've had 3 boy's I know all the tricks... so what is it?" I laughed nervously,
"Its nothing, really......"
"So tell me what its nothing about..."
"Ok, look, now don't take this the wrong way or anything right, cause you know; I really appreciate what you have, no are doing for me,
"Y-e-a-h"
" but thing is, I need some time alone, time to get my head together and stuff, I was thinkin after breakfast of taking a walk and getting some fresh air, and just see where my legs take me."  I swallowed hard and sat waiting.... damn I was twenty eight years of age, why was I feeling nervous, I had my own pad,......  I reasoned it to myself and concluded it came down to respect. finally after looking from one to the other Ma spoke.
"Ok, we get it, you want away us, I guess we have been a little full on, but its only been with best intentions"
"ma, I know and I'm real thankful to you, ... both.... but I need time out, we can do the boardwalk tomorrow, I promise "  Damn, I watched Ma' expression, and I am sure I saw disappointment flit across her face, the last thing after all they had done for me was to hurt them, but I needed space on my own.
As she spoke she placed her hand on my arm, 

"Its fine, we get it don't we John, just promise me you won't over do it and if you need a cab grab one back home, ok"

I smiled and agreed "ok ma, thanks."

She looked at me and smiled back and her hand moved from my arm to my hand.
"So, could a trip to the hospital be included in your walk by chance?"

"I smiled, "Maybe, let's see."

"Well, a certain nurse has just started her shift of ten days, so you are bound to catch her at some point today."

Inside I felt my heart flip again, was I that transparent that Ma saw what I wanted to do and how I felt?.

again I smiled, "thanks Ma." I got up from the table and moved round and kissed Ma on the cheek, Pa looked across and waved his hand, I'll be back around six if that's ok?"

"Sure thing, Supper will be ready and waiting, Richie remember take it easy, I mean it."

"I promise ma."

I left through the kitchen door walked round the outside of the house.
I inhaled the air deep into my lungs and savoured the taste, sweet nectar, out on the side walk I kept breathing deep, the sun was warm on my face, and I felt free.
My plans were to take a gentle walk down to the cab company by way of a stationers, and get them to drop me at the hospital.

I walked at a steady pace so not to stretch or possibly injure myself and reached the cab office in forty minutes, walking inside I booked a cab and sat in the waiting area for the cab to collect me from base. while I waited I opened the pad I had got for Jon from the stationer's and wrote a few lyrics to a song that had been going round in my head.

 "Something For The Pain"
Happiness, it's been no friend to me
But forever after ain't what it's all cracked up to be
Yeah, I had a taste, you were my fantasy
But I lost my faith when I hit reality
I don't need no Guru to tell me what to do
When your feeling like a headline on
Yesterday's news

Come on, come on, come on
Give me something for the pain
Give me something for the blues
Give me something for the pain when
I feel I've been danglin' from a hang-man's noose
Give me something I can use
To get me through the night
Make me feel all right,
Something like you

Loneliness has found a home in me
My suitcase and guitar are my only family
I've tried to need someone, like they needed me
I opened up my heart, but all I did was bleed
I don't need no lover, just to get screwed
They don't make a bandage, that's going to cover my bruise

Come on, come on, come on
Give me something for the pain
Give me something for the blues
Give me something for the pain when
I feel I've been danglin' from a hang-man's noose
Give me something I can use
To get me through the night
Make me feel all right,
Something like you

Pull me under (Help I'm falling)
Run through my veins (Night is calling)
To a place (Feels like I'm flying)
Where I feel no pain (Christ I'm dying)
Be the pillow under my head
Cover me when I'm in your bed
Take me higher than I've ever been
Take me down and back again
Come to me, be my disguise
Open your coat, let me crawl inside
Come on, come on, come on

Come on, come on, come on
Give me something for the pain
Give me something for the blues
Give me something for the pain when
I feel I've been danglin' from a hang-man's noose
Give me something I can use
To get me through the night
Make me feel all right,
Something like you.

I finished writing just as the cab arrived, the driver came in, "Cab for Sambora?"
putting the pad away I answered, "Yeah that's me, lets go."